Chapter 1: What is the significance of the Plunket Shield in New Zealand cricket?
live from the mobile beer garden studios this is the acc agenda live from the outer oval the agenda podcast the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap brought to you by export ultra I hope you heard that leather on willow there. This is an agenda special coming to you live from the Outer Oval at Eden Park for the last round of Plunkett Shield.
Great to have you along with us, Mashie, and a special guest, the BYC podcast, Dylan Cleaver. It's great to be here, Mike. And the sound of leather on willow, there's not a better sound. And can I just note also that I'm making my agenda debut today in the week that I made my New Zealand debut. So it's been a hell of a few days, actually.
It's a big week for you, Dylan Cleaver, obviously being selected by Crick Info. to make your debut in Christchurch for that final T20. But we're here watching Auckland Aces take on Canterbury. Canterbury currently top of the table. Yeah, they are. They're leading by eight points from an unlikely chaser in Otago, and I think Otago remain the people's favourite.
But they're going to have to do a lot to overhaul Canterbury, and Canterbury won the toss here in helpful conditions and got a wicket with the very first ball. Yeah, well, there would have certainly been juicy conditions because it absolutely pissed it down for the last probably 24 hours here in Auckland. And they would have had the covers on that, and it looks like it's got a bit in it.
It looks green. It looks good. But I love a bit of first-class cricket, don't you, Mashi? Yeah, it's nice. I mean, we are the only people here.
Yeah, let's talk about the vibe for just a moment, shall we? So we are currently in the ā what stance is Dylan? Oh, no.
I think this is Merv Wallace.
OK Merv Wallace stand and there's about three people in here. The gentleman to our right is currently score taking himself. Yep. Kookaburra score block, that's nice. We did see some suspicious figures earlier sending a couple of texts to their friends about what was going on in the game very quickly after each ball was bowled. Yeah. After we got the microphones out.
There seems to be a group frantically messaging after every ball. I don't know what that could be. No. I'm not sure what that could be at all. But beautiful conditions now today. I wasn't expecting this. We were umming and ahhing about whether we'd be doing it in the pissing rain. But sun is out. Really is the signal for the end of summer, isn't it, the last round of Plunkett Shield?
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Chapter 2: Who were the big winners at the New Zealand Cricket Awards?
The whitebait. And if you've ever seen a man who's cross-eyed fillet a whitebait, it was quite outstanding the way he was going down the fish, flipping it over, going back down the other way and lifting it up and two beautiful little fillets off a whitebait. He was into about his 13th whitebait when I told him that you don't really need to flip a whitebait. Do you like a whitebait, DC? Yeah.
No, I can't stand a whitebait. I'm anti-whitebait in every respect.
Okay, interesting.
Although I do like the idea of being on a standout in the nature with a net in the river and you don't have to unhook or anything like that. I like that part of whitebaiting. It's just the fact they taste like mud. Do. You need a lot of condiments for whitebait.
I have noticed that. Like, if you're going to make a whitebait patty, which is probably... You need so much butter.
So much butter. No, you don't need the butter. You need to whisk up egg whites.
A lot of egg whites.
Just one yolk, that's it. But anyway, digress.
How did we get to the... No, that was just me talking about Fraser Sheet. I grew up playing a bit of cricket with him, and he was far beyond my capabilities, that's for sure.
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Chapter 3: Why is Melie Kerr being compared to Debbie Hockley?
Some heartwarming stuff coming from down there as well, Mashi, that you'd be pleased about. The students have been really getting in behind the Otago Plunkett Shield team. Oh, that's good to hear. And they've been going down there in hordes with their boxes of beers up on the embankment. Oh, good shit. And quite a number of players in the Otago team are the same age as the students.
You know, you're 19, 20-year-olds. So they're expecting quite a decent crowd down there to get behind Otago. Oh, that was a smile on my face.
It's heartwarming for me because I couldn't think of anything better than not going to your lectures, taking a box of beer into University Oval and just getting lizard on the embankment, watching effectively your mates playing in a first-class competition down there and potentially playing for the actual Shield.
I mean Joe Jury who's sitting beside us here is absolutely itching away because this game was made for a beer on the embankment wasn't it?
And yeah we can't buy a beer though can we? No you certainly can't. We can't even bring one in. And I don't think it's wrong of us to say that we did get a heavy check on arrival by the overly staffed red badges here at the Eden Park out of Oval today. I'd say there's at least 20 of them. There's more red badges here than there are cricket fans.
Yeah, I think they're more worried about the gentlemen that are texting after every ball. Yeah, right. Which I don't know why. I mean, obviously, they've got some mates who are at work on this Friday who are just keen to not bring up Crick Info and just basically get a ball-by-ball from their mates, which was...
I mean, to be fair, it's a heroic act from that friend to be able to send through that ball-by-ball immediate text message to their friend who would be interested to know what was going on at that exact moment. So, I mean, full credit to that group of chaps over there doing that. So how long can this game go for, Dylan? It can go for the full four days. It can, yep. So that's good to know.
So we're going to be sitting here for, I mean, we've got to go back to work this afternoon and I have absolutely no interest in doing that. We should stay here. Can we go get a box of beer? I would say biff it over the fence. Isn't it three days? Yeah, I think I've just given myself a crisis of confidence there.
I think it's three days.
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Chapter 4: What are the current standings in the Plunket Shield?
Yeah. Purely for James McConey, please. Maybe go on about Tia Omutu has no mana. Yeah, that's a good place to start. Tia has no mana. James McConey has no mana. Just that kind of vibe.
We might never see him again.
And then we'll play out as many as we can of them until we get a walkout. And we'll get a walkout.
Chapter 5: How does the point system work in the Plunket Shield?
We'll load them up. We'll bank them up. Load the bases.
Until we see McConey come back in. Okay. First one of the day. Yours, please. Party Rua, Sunriser, Super Kings, Manna. Hey, guys. Since Julian is finally on board with the Super Rugby having a Manna stick, do you think the new NZ20 comp needs one as well? No. Perhaps a Manna stump? Yeah, a Manna stump. Fuck yeah. That's a fantastic idea.
No, look, I don't think there's much room for Manna in cricket. A Manna stump. Jesus Christ. I think it's a Manna kind of sport.
No, it's not. You're right.
Whereas rugby has a lot of Manna.
Well, it's a sport that's only played in countries that had some hefty colonisation going on at some stage in the last 200 years. So it would be a controversial manoeuvre to be playing for the Munner Stump.
Although, look, no idea is a bad idea when it comes to the NZ20. But I like where your head's at. Yep.
Next one. Yours, please.
Hey, fuckers. Hey, mate. First time, long time here. Thanks, mate. Right. Okay. A spade and a shovel.
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Chapter 6: What are the latest updates on the Canterbury vs Auckland match?
Bad luck. He dropped it. Bad luck. Bad luck. He dropped it.
Fucking wounder. I hate him. Next one. No, I don't. Yes, I do. Yes, you do.
Yeah, g'day, boys. G'day, mate. Hypes. I just want to shout out to old Ger Lane, you know. The yarns came out of his big bloody seven-inch down there in his shed in his garage, and I assume like the rest of us, it would have been one hell of a fucking set-up. And then old miserable Moushey chucked the video up, and I feel real bad, actually. I feel like we should almost start a GoFundMe.
Let's get a poor cunt a fucking chair or something.
Miserable Mashie, first of all, is a drive-by of a nickname. That's a great name for you, actually.
It's not a million miles away from being accurate, though. Because your general disposition is miserable. And I know you don't do it on purpose, but some women have resting bitch faces.
Yeah.
You've just got a miserable look on your face.
Yeah, and I'd rather be called Miserable Mashie than having a resting bitch face, which people do.
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Chapter 7: How does weather impact cricket matches in New Zealand?
Oh, geez. Andy, he's had a big time. Mad bastard. That T20 series. It wasn't great, was it? It was a testimonial to it. It was an absolute joke. If we had picked some young fellas and got a bit of a hide in there, it'd be fine. But we picked all those old dudes who had loads of experience. Go fuck themselves. Come on, the NZ20.
Good night. Good night. That sounded like it was in the dark. If you listen to the BYC potty, Cleaver and Ford go deep into the series. And the actual coach of the South African team said, you know, The series has actually been quite tight with some half-decent cricket. Yeah. Whether it's international cricket, the jury's out. Is that what the coach said? Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Which is pretty accurate, though. You know, the games were tight, sure, but was it international standard? No. No. So that's what he said. I think he called it a marginal international series. That's a real broadside on bilateral series now with these. But that's the future, unfortunately, for cricket, and we've got to get involved.
Rob Walter doesn't say much, does he?
No, he stays out of the limelight a little bit. Yeah, he likes to keep it. Yeah, he keeps the pranks pretty chill.
I was waiting for him to come out and say something, but he doesn't really feel like saying that too much, does he? It's not great we're losing those. I agree with Andy from Napes. It's not great that we lost that series.
Yeah, but do you care?
Who cares? Yeah, this is the problem. I was having a chat to Marihi with you today, and I just feel like NZ Cricket, before each series, needs to announce whether or not we should care before each series and just go, hey, everybody, look, floating this one in. I don't think you need to care about this one. And at least we go, oh, sweet, we'll commentate it, but we don't have to care.
Difficult for a sporting body to come out with that. No, yeah, look, clutching at straws.
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Chapter 8: What feedback do listeners have in the 'Yours Please' segment?
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