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The Agenda

"The Dunedin Seagull Saga Revisited"

09 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What led to the ACC XI's recent loss?

0.031 - 11.029 Matt Heath

Matt has just seen that in the run sheet coming up today that there's a new segment. Are you typing up some kind of intro for it or something like that? Are you trying to hunt down a new intro? Anyway, Matty, how are you, mate?

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11.049 - 16.538 Unknown

All right? I'm already hated enough for Matt One's F1 Corner, Matt Heath's F1 Corner.

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Chapter 2: Why does Matt feel more confident about the Warriors despite two losses?

16.719 - 21.246 Unknown

This upcoming one is really, really going to make me unpopular.

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21.226 - 24.351 Matt Heath

What even is the ABS umpiring system?

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Chapter 3: What are the highlights of the Masters preview featuring Foxy?

24.371 - 30.901 Matt Heath

We'll get to that. Anyway, did you see any of the humiliation yesterday? No, two days ago now at the Basin Reserve via the Microsoft.

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30.921 - 34.005 Unknown

Because I was following it early on and you guys were doing really well. Yeah, we were.

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34.306 - 39.173 Matt Heath

Yeah. And in classic G-Lane fashion, he had to come out and really pull the handbrake on that thing. Right.

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Chapter 4: What does Dave Rennie mean by 'form over reputation' for the All Blacks squad?

39.513 - 41.677 Matt Heath

Decide, you know what, we're not going to do well. This is not who we are.

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Chapter 5: What can we expect from Matt Heath's inaugural MLB Corner segment?

41.697 - 60.534 Matt Heath

This is not in our DNA as a team. We got off to about 110 for none off eight overs or something like that. Right. Who was batting first? Myself. And another guy, I didn't have a great innings. I was just going on about a strike rate of 120 or something like that. The other bro that was opening up for us was going at about 250 rate. He just went ballistic.

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60.854 - 68.091 Unknown

So I don't know where these guys came from, but they were all friends of... The ACC team is so much better since you don't get people like me playing on the team.

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68.071 - 71.475 Matt Heath

No, we could have done with a couple of autumn leaves actually, to be quite honest.

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71.495 - 79.263 Unknown

You would have been devastating on that slow wicket there, DeBasin. And then what went wrong? So G-Lane came out and tried to smash everything but middled nothing?

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79.363 - 79.744 Matt Heath

Yeah.

79.764 - 82.246 Unknown

Yeah.

Chapter 6: What feedback did the hosts receive in the 'Yours Please' segment?

82.266 - 83.388 Unknown

Just going on past form.

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83.608 - 93.859 Matt Heath

Yeah. The highlight of his night, I'm not sure if you heard it yesterday, but it was when he browned out at the afters and then came to an Italian restaurant and then asked the Indian descent waiter if he could please have a chicken korma.

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94.514 - 106.006 Unknown

Wow. Well, that's hitting it right out of the middle, isn't it? That is hitting it right out of the middle. Oh, that's so good. How did he bowl?

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108.288 - 113.953 Matt Heath

Actually, kind of well, I think, at his standards. He was going at about tens or something like that. Didn't take a wicket.

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113.994 - 121.281 Unknown

My favourite part about G-Lane's bowling is the way he walks back to his mark and immediately turns and aggressively runs in straight away.

Chapter 7: How has the ACC XI been perceived in terms of humiliation in cricket?

121.401 - 122.462 Unknown

Oh, he gets through the overs.

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122.442 - 128.97 Matt Heath

Yeah. He loves to pound through them. I don't know why he's in such a rush, but I suppose it matches up with the rest of his personality.

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129.01 - 133.996 Unknown

And then about four balls into the first over, he's done something to his back and he's in all sorts.

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134.096 - 141.665 Matt Heath

Yeah. Why does he always have to just throw the entire kitchen sink at the first one? Well, not as much as Joe Geary did. He came out at the end of the innings with two balls to face.

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142.025 - 146.811 Unknown

Did you hear about this? No. They may be bat for some reason. Yeah. Because Paul Ford was doing commentary.

Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes are shared about G-Lane's seagull incident?

147.772 - 167.282 Unknown

And I was way underprepared. I had no idea. I had no box or anything. I'm running out, Jason Eaton's in the middle of the pitch. He's like, go boy, free swing first one. I'm like, no, you're facing, aren't you? He's like, no, no, you've got to face it. Some guy comes steaming in. I swung so hard, I missed the ball and hit myself in the back of the head with the bat.

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168.464 - 171.729 Matt Heath

Oh, that's great. The only thing that was missing was your feet coming out from underneath you.

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172.05 - 178.2 Unknown

But if you'd got anything on it, that would have gone a mile. I missed it by probably two miles. That was the problem.

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179.142 - 182.367 Matt Heath

And if you do want to watch that humiliation, you can.

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182.447 - 196.307 Unknown

If you've only got two balls, you've got no balls, you can't be getting your eye in on that. No. And how did you go with the second ball you faced? I tried to play a forward defence. Last ball of the round, missed it. I think there's some delayed concussion going on.

196.768 - 199.832 Matt Heath

For some reason, I'm getting blamed. Were you helmeted up?

200.433 - 207.664 Unknown

No, no helmet. No helmet, no box. A pair of pads that were too small. I think they were Georgia Plymouth pads.

207.863 - 219.313 Matt Heath

Oh, yeah, were they? Yeah, there was a gear bag that was left behind at the Basin Reserve that apologies to whoever that is. We believe it might have been Georgia Plumbers. We did take liberties with that and use the gear.

219.613 - 237.769 Unknown

Is the ACC11 the most humiliating cricket team in the history of the game? And there's lots of social teams out there. There's lots of different forms of the game. But is there any team that's been so successively humiliated as the ACC11? I think the Washington Generals would beat us in a game of cricket.

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