Why do some people constantly fear abandonment, need reassurance, or struggle to regulate their emotions? Why are anxiety and ADHD becoming more common? And how much of it can be traced back to our earliest relationships?In this episode, I sit down with child psychoanalyst Erica Komisar to explore how our earliest attachment experiences shape the way we relate to ourselves and others for the rest of our lives. We talk about why emotional regulation begins long before children have words, how chronic stress in infancy can impact the developing nervous system, and why many adults struggling in relationships today may actually be carrying unmet attachment needs from their earliest years.We also dive into some of today's biggest parenting debates, including sleep training, the unique roles of mothers and fathers, the importance of community in raising children, and what the research says about building secure attachment from the very beginning. Erica shares why love alone isn't always enough to create secure attachment, how children can be deeply loved and still develop insecure attachment, and why healing our own emotional wounds before becoming parents matters more than we often realize.We also discuss:• The foundations of secure attachment and emotional regulation• Why attachment trauma isn't always healed through insight alone• Generational patterns of anxiety and depression• The sensitivity gene and why some children are more vulnerable to stress• ADHD through the lens of chronic stress and nervous system development• Preverbal trauma and how it shows up in adult relationships• The signs of unmet attachment needs in adulthood• Why abandonment can feel life-threatening for some people• What secure attachment looks like in adult relationships• Practical ways parents can foster resilience, emotional regulation, and secure attachment in the first three years of lifeWhether you're trying to heal your own anxious attachment, better understand your childhood, or become the kind of parent who helps your child feel deeply safe, this conversation is filled with research-backed insights that can change the way you see both yourself and the people you love.If anxiety or anxious attachment keeps showing up in your relationships, even when love is there, your body may still be living in the past. I am an anxious attachment specialist & trauma informed somatic coach who helps people heal their anxious attachment using somatic healing & nervous system regulation.I have 4 spots open for 1:1 somatic support for people who are ready to reduce their anxiety/anxious attachment patterns. Somatic work helps your nervous system release old survival patterns that were formed before you had words, patterns like fear of abandonment, constant scanning, or feeling like you have to hold everything together to stay loved.When your body feels safe, connection no longer feels like something you have to earn.Book your free discovery call here to see if we’re a good fit to work together: https://calendly.com/freedomwithvalerie/discovery-callConnect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/Connect with Erica by checking out her website: ericakomisar.com

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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