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The Archers Omnibus

21/06/2026

20 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 25.735

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK.

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26.137 - 53.494 Shannon Maldonado

I founded Ornot in 2013. I think the best thing about Shopify is that we can practice business without technical skills. We can manage the company's background systems and front-end and sell online. If Shopify was a bicycle equipment, it would be a bicycle itself. That way things are handled and our business is handled in Shopify. Start a free trial at shopify.com.

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56.68 - 60.919 Brian Aldridge

You're listening to The Archer's Omnibus from BBC Radio 4.

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77.993 - 96.276 Pip Archer

Ah, Oliver. I was going to call up to Grange Farm to speak to you later, but you've saved me a trip. Sorry, Brown, I'm rather busy. We're short-staffed and we've had a number of VIP guests booking last minute. Don't worry, what I have to say won't take long. Oh, hello, Dad. Oliver, I'm taking these down to the spa. They're running low. Thank you.

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97.077 - 118.385 Pip Archer

But do housekeeping have enough towels for the rooms? No, but Lily's on it. See you later, Dad. Hold on, Kate. What on earth are you doing? Working. Are you joking? No, Dad, I'm not. I work here. Then why would you take a job at Grey Gables? Why not? We like to think we look after our staff well, and there are some great perks to being part of our team.

118.405 - 138.831 Pip Archer

I'm not interested in your staff well-being policies, Oliver. I'm curious to why my daughter is working here when she has a perfectly good business of her own. Oh, Oliver, I meant to say they're also short of shampoo for the showers. OK. Well, when you've delivered the towels, find Brad and get him to show you where the refills of shower gel and shampoo are kept. No problem.

138.851 - 160.028 Pip Archer

Are you going to let him order you around like that? Yes, I was, because as my boss, he's perfectly within his rights to ask me to complete a simple task. What's going on, Kate? Dad, I can't talk to you here, but... I could come and join you in the lounge when I get my break, if that's OK, Oliver. Of course. Dad? Yes, all right. In about half an hour. What is she up to?

160.529 - 181.019 Pip Archer

There was some kind of rebellion designed to unsettle me. You know, she's a great worker. Half a shift, and I've already seen what an asset she'll be. Marvellous. Just wish she'd warned me she had a burning desire to be a chambermaid. We tend to say housekeeping these days, Brown. Enjoy your coffee. Oliver, hold on. How's Miranda? Have you seen much of her lately? Sorry, can't stop.

181.44 - 183.162 Pip Archer

I'm late for a meeting.

Chapter 2: How does the conversation shift towards family dynamics?

838.142 - 838.342 Will Grundy

Yeah.

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839.309 - 844.234 Will Grundy

Anyway, if you see Brian, you can tell him I'm working hard. Building my empire.

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844.394 - 846.116 Brian Aldridge

Oh, I'm not sure I'll see him.

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846.517 - 873.204 Will Grundy

Oh? Ed said he was around today. They were checking the home farm trailers and the combine. How's Ed getting on, though? All right, I think. Is Brian OK? I keep hearing that he's lost it. And do you think he has? No. And if he starts trying to say he was out of his mind on New Year's Eve, then... What? That it was a moment of madness? You know? I do. OK.

874.126 - 887.151 Will Grundy

So if you're here to warm me off, there's no need. I'm keeping my word. I've got my drone. The debt's paid. Right. Why are you next in line to cover for Brian now that Rory's failed? Come on, then. What have you got to confess?

887.812 - 887.912

Wait.

888.635 - 900.01 Will Grundy

What did Rory confess? To attacking me. It would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic. I mean, I respect him trying to protect his old man, but if you're about to do the same, you can spare me the crocodile tears.

900.03 - 905.497 Brian Aldridge

Oh, don't worry. I'm not about to stage a false confession. I'm just pleased that you have your drone. You deserve it.

Chapter 3: What challenges arise in the relationship between Brian and Adam?

1592.683 - 1618.121 Pip Archer

Oh, don't get me started. Even Kate seems to have got it into her head that I'm at fault. Actually, I'm the victim in all this. OK, we'll check on the ewes and then, if you're not in a hurry to get back, I'd like to pop in and ask Brian a couple of things about the Borchester show. My never-ending to-do list. That sounds good. I'm always up for a fancy coffee from the home farm office.

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1619.023 - 1623.012 Pip Archer

Stella said that she heard a rumour that Adam has completely quit.

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1623.233 - 1629.467 Dr. Xand van Tulleken

Well, I heard the same, but not from the horse's mouth. Either horse, Brian or Adam...

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1631.54 - 1662.05 Pip Archer

What's up with them? I don't know. They sound a bit distressed. Hang on. Oh, what... What the... Dad. Oh, no. Oh, I can't believe it. Oh! Oh, some idiot. Some maniac. A dog. Dad, stop. When I catch it... No, no, no, we can't. Dad, please. It's too far off. Stop. It's Carnage! I'm calling the police. Dad, you call Alistair. We need to get help. Four, five, six... Oh, no!

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1662.07 - 1685.039 Pip Archer

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen... At least fifteen! That lamb's ripped apart. If I find the dog that did this, I'll blow its brains out. I can hear it. No, Dad, we've got to focus. Help the injured ewes. Save the ones that we can. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, come on. Come on.

1686.2 - 1690.924

We just said off earlier, if we chased the dog away, we'd scared it off. I know.

1691.004 - 1697.71 Pip Archer

OK, OK. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. All right. Good. OK, I'll ring 999 now.

1698.517 - 1702.967

Tell the police we think the dog that did this is still nearby.

1703.128 - 1703.569 Pip Archer

I will.

Chapter 4: How do the characters address the issue of support for the new baby?

2349.097 - 2375.678 Pip Archer

I woke up early, so I thought I'd do something useful. Can't someone at the showroom wash your car for you? I like doing it myself. Have you heard from Amber? Yeah, yeah, just this minute. She's coming to the showroom about 12. Ah. You told her I'm not working today. Do you think she's avoiding me on purpose? Maybe the pro-choice lecture was a step too far? That's not what it was.

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2376.519 - 2400.87 Pip Archer

You agreed it was important for her to know we would support her whatever choice she made. Yeah, whatever choice she made. But it was blatantly obvious she wanted to have the baby. At that point, maybe we could have shifted gear and just been happy for her. For both of them. I would have got there. I will get there. But I still don't regret what I said. or even how you said it. Oh, I know.

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2401.011 - 2422.953 Pip Archer

I know I could have been more subtle. Waited for a better moment. Yeah, we wouldn't be back at square one. But also, I was on high alert. She arranges to see us on her own and then he turns up and sticks to her like glue. If you were a controlling boyfriend and you didn't want your girlfriend to consider a termination, wouldn't you isolate her from her parents?

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2423.554 - 2456.697 Pip Archer

For all we knew, he tagged along to stop us asking difficult questions. You think George is controlling? Actually, no. I don't. But I do think they're both very young and very foolish. And what do you think of this business proposal? I keep hoping she's using it as an excuse, a reason to get back in touch with us. It's a little elaborate for that. Well, whatever she wants, or we think she wants.

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2457.578 - 2470.094 Pip Archer

It's to our best not to scare her away this time, eh? There you are. Mum said you were checking on the sheep in the barn.

2470.114 - 2474.72

Yeah, I was, but then I got hungry. I couldn't face eating anything last night.

2475.141 - 2475.782 Pip Archer

Me neither.

2476.342 - 2478.725

There's toast and jam, if you fancy joining me.

2479.206 - 2482.678 Pip Archer

Oh, thanks. Are you OK?

Chapter 5: What is the significance of the dog attack incident?

3109.807 - 3140.974 Pip Archer

Brad, help me for a second. Here, I've got you. I just need to get steady. Careful. Then slowly, slowly. Fletch, come on. That's it. Oh, I almost had him. Oliver, Oliver. He's there. Where? Just by your shoulder. Yes. him. Oh, well done, you two. Oh, poor thing, his heart's beating so fast. Mine too. Now what? I'll call them, Alex. Get them to bring his cage to reception.

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3141.254 - 3167.779 Pip Archer

But in the meantime, maybe Zainab can settle him. You know, a familiar face. Now, Brad, pass me one of those pillow slips and we'll wrap him gently so he feels safe. Okay. Gosh, it's only my second shift and I feel like I've fallen into some hotel farce. Carry on, Grey Gables. Just a sparkling water for me, Jolene. Thanks. Would you like ice and a slice of lime? Yes, please.

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3167.799 - 3187.347 Pip Archer

I'll have a pint when you've got a minute, Jolene. Yeah. And put Kirsty's drink on my tab. Oh, thanks, but I'm with Rex in the beer garden. I was going to get him a pint too. Shires? Yeah. Two pints of shires, Jolene, and a sparkling water. All right, coming up. That's very kind of you, Brian. Is Miranda still in the garden? I think so, yeah.

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3187.367 - 3203.129 Pip Archer

She was definitely sitting over by the honeysuckle when I got here. Yeah, Brian's plucking up the courage to go and talk to her. I don't need courage. I'd just rather speak to her when Oliver isn't glued to her side. Has anyone seen David today? Kenton said he was very upset last night. Oh, yeah, those poor sheep.

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3203.79 - 3223.427 Pip Archer

I thought Martin would win the prize for leaving me the most messages this week, but David's certainly in the running. Poor guy. Well, thankfully he's no longer blaming me for the attack. Well, David told me he's planning to use the Borchester show to spread clear, positive messages to dog owners. Yeah, I'm seeing adverts for the show everywhere at the minute. Little promo videos popping up.

3223.527 - 3239.945 Pip Archer

Yeah, me too. Amber and George are doing a really great job hijacking the algorithm. Oh, hey, Brian, don't turn round, but Miranda's just come into the bar. She'll loan her with her shadow. She's on her own. Oh, Miranda. Evening, Brian. Hi, Kirsty. Hello.

3239.965 - 3240.085

Hello.

3240.402 - 3265.539 Pip Archer

I've been waiting for the chance to have a word. About what? Well, I'd rather talk in private, if that's OK. It's not OK. I've got nothing to say to you. Zainab seemed relieved to hand the budgie over to her dad. Yeah. I didn't think many people kept birds in cages these days. Seems a bit old-fashioned. Khalil came across him somehow, and he was really upset by how he was being kept. Oh, I see.

3265.659 - 3287.502 Pip Archer

So the Maliks rescued him. Mm. I once saw a short film when I was living in South Africa about a budgie and unrequited love. How did it end? Badly. Oh. Well, me, I prefer a love story with a happy ending. But you have to admit there's something beautiful about a soul yearning. Oh, in the movies, maybe. Not in real life. No, you're right.

Chapter 6: How do the characters react to the aftermath of the dog attack?

3887.356 - 3911.305 Pip Archer

Maybe. And, of course, Amber and George might have a place of their own by then. They might. Look, I'm happy to have them here as long as they need. That's good of you, Will. We're extremely grateful. Don't be daft. It's a pleasure having Amber here. Hey, come downstairs and I'll show you what George has been up to. A renovation project. You're going to love it.

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3913.934 - 3917.279 Will Grundy

Did you manage to book the day off before the show so we can really lock in?

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3917.299 - 3921.065 PC Nicola Trueman

Yep. What the... I can't believe it!

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3921.165 - 3921.826 Will Grundy

What is it?

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3922.267 - 3924.29 PC Nicola Trueman

Look! Outside our house.

3924.671 - 3925.312 Will Grundy

Nice car.

3925.572 - 3926.313 PC Nicola Trueman

It's my mum's.

3929.638 - 3954.396 Pip Archer

He's been working so hard on it. I'm really proud of him. When he gets going on a project, there's no stopping him. Is it an antique? I don't think so. Although it is very old. What really touched me is how George and Amber are happy to continue the tradition where so many youngsters want everything shiny and new. There's nothing wrong with shiny and new.

3954.416 - 3981.503 Pip Archer

I like a vintage car as much as the next man, but I'd never say no to a brand new Ferrari. It's charming. It really is. But I'm just a little worried about whether it meets modern safety standards. Hmm. Yeah, true. A vintage car might be beautiful, but without crumple zones, I wouldn't want my daughter driving it. Right. Well, I'm pretty sure the car won't be needing a crumple zone.

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