Sticky Habits with Monica Packer
episodePreviously titled “Sticky Habits” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026
Transcript
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hello and welcome to the Arch of Decluttering podcast. I'm your host, Amy Revell, and I have an amazing guest with me today. And you're going to feel seen and you're going to walk away with some ideas of how to move from like, I know what to do, but I don't do it, to I'm actually able to do things. So Monica Packer is a habits and identity coach. He was known for her powerful message around progress over perfection. Oh my goodness, don't we all need that? She's helped thousands of women who live real lives to develop realistic, sustainable action. Everyone life's busy and full and there's lots of things going on.
How can we bridge the gap between knowing and doing?
So welcome, Monica.
Well, I'm so pleased to be here and I definitely feel like we are in the friend territory already.
I know. I love that. It's very quick friends when you're interviewing someone for a podcast and when you've got the same values, I just think it's like, yes, this is my person. Yeah, I agree. So many, Monica, of my listeners and my community talk about like, I know what to do. I know the thing, the right thing that I should be doing. But then for some reason that doesn't translate into action. And so there's this gap between I know what I should do and I want to do it sometimes, but I'm not doing it. I'd love to know what is with that gap.
In truth, I think it's a lack of knowledge. And that's going to make them feel bad when I say that. And I just want to hit pause and say, don't feel bad. This is another thing where you're going to get blamed for how you don't follow through. The lack of knowledge doesn't come down to you not knowing what to do. It's more about you've been taught incorrectly. That's what I'm after. This is especially true for your listeners who are caretakers in any form. That's honestly all women. And there's so much research behind this. But we have to do things differently. And in the self-help space, especially with habits, and I would say anything like wellness-oriented, anything really, most of the leaders there are male leaders.
And we're not going to, you know, say, wear our pitchforks. Let's... Let's go get these men. Men are the worst. That's not the message. The message is more. It's an accidental belief that what they have to share is gender... What's the word? Um...
to everyone?
Yeah. When in reality, our lives are different from men. And that's due to invisible labor, which has been a decades-long source of research from sociologists to economists to everything you can possibly think of, even psychology, about the invisible loads we carry as women. And that's anything mental or physical that you do to keep family homes and even workplaces afloat. And it's all the things that are unseen and oftentimes undervalued, if valued at all, underpaid, if paid at all. And it's what makes it so we have less time. We have less energy. We have less support externally. And we have less energy, like I said, in terms of what we do requires mental and physical energy at all times, right? And another thing, too, is we get interrupted a whole lot more.
Yeah.
Oh gosh, we do. We do. So, which happened to us when we first tried to start recording, right? So, and again, this isn't to say men are the worst. I have a good man, a good partner in my life. I've had many good men in my life in terms of my father, my brothers who, you know, I told you before we started recording, my brothers were like second dads to us and our very capable, very involved in their households. But regardless of what it looks like in any person's household, women's lives are different. And that means the habits, the ways we've been taught to form habits in the past, and it's so ingrained in our minds. So we think we know what we need to do, but really we're following a script that was never designed for us.
It was never with those invisible labor factors in mind and how they truly affect every moment of every day. And instead, we need a different method that is designed for women who have unreliable schedules, unreliable sources of energy. Even our whole cycles could be a whole other conversation, but that's not particularly my expertise, but it is part of this puzzle for sure.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:01–0:37
2
How can we bridge the gap between knowing and doing?
0:37–4:48
3
What are the misconceptions about habit formation?
4:48–8:28
4
How does invisible labor affect women's habits?
8:28–17:02
5
What is the importance of starting with a baseline habit?
17:02–23:02
6
How can we make habits sustainable over time?
23:02–30:04
7
What are practical examples of implementing micro habits?
30:04–35:58