Episode 432: Politeness as Weapon—Neurotypical Norms and Coercion

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Recorded30 Nov 2025

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Today’s episode argues that conventional neurotypical politeness functions as a system of social control that actively protects those who cause harm whilst punishing the clarity and directness often characteristic of autistic communication. The author of the source article, Dr. Jaime Hoerricks, contends that politeness is often a “social technology” built on strategic ambiguity, which manipulators exploit to maintain power and deflect accountability. Furthermore, Dr. Hoerricks explains that autistic directness is mislabeled as rudeness or a “failure” of social skills when it is actually a form of resistance and self-preservation that disrupts coercive etiquette by eliminating the fog of ambiguity. Mechanisms like tone policing, accusations of rudeness, and claims of “overreaction” are described as tools used to enforce compliance and silence those who speak plainly, forcing autistic people to choose between truth and safety. Ultimately, she advocates for a shift from compliance-based politeness to ethics rooted in clarity and transparency, arguing that autistic communication is not broken but dangerous to systems built on performance and distortion.Here’s the link to the source article: https://open.substack.com/pub/autside/p/politeness-as-weapon-how-neurotypicalLet me know what you think.The AutSide is a reader-supported publication. To support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit autside.substack.com/subscribe

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.