Episode 439: Love Without Vanishing—Coherence as Intimacy's Core

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Recorded07 Dec 2025

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Today’s episode explores the foundational principles of autistic attachment and intimacy, prioritising self-preservation within deep connection. The author of the source article, Dr. Jaime Hoerricks, emphasises that safety and true bonding rely on the pre-verbal signals and coherence of the body, asserting that innate autistic clarity should be trusted over social expectations. Dr. Hoerricks contrasts honest relationality, which begins with recognition and reciprocity, with toxic societal reliance on charm and masking, which are identified as manipulation traps. True closeness, she notes, requires establishing boundaries and practicing soft autonomy, treating sensory consent not merely as a safety measure but as a language of trust. Ultimately, she advocates for building a relationship architecture spacious enough for desire that honors one’s full presence and does not necessitate self-abandonment or emotional disappearance.Here’s the link to the source article: https://open.substack.com/pub/autside/p/love-without-losing-yourself-coherenceLet me know what you think.The AutSide is a reader-supported publication. To support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit autside.substack.com/subscribe

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