Episode 453: Refusal as Harm—Autistic Boundaries and Forced Repair

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Episode 452: Pressing Pause—Ethics of Estrangement and Non-Ownership 11 min · 20 Dec 2025

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Recorded21 Dec 2025

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Today’s episode focuses on the concept that setting boundaries, particularly within autistic, queer, and trans contexts, is frequently misinterpreted as causing harm or acting with cruelty. The author of the source article, Dr. Jaime Hoerricks, argues that acts of refusal, pausing, or remaining unresolved should often be understood as ethical acts of self-care and compassion, rather than failures in relationships. Dr. Hoerricks illustrates how a calmly set boundary or an explanation’s absence can cause a perceptible, though not dramatic, shift in a social interaction, leading immediately to negative labels such as “cold” or “unreasonable.” Ultimately, she aims to reframe stepping back and maintaining personal limits as a moral necessity against the pressure for forced relational repair.Here’s the link to the source article: https://open.substack.com/pub/autside/p/when-refusal-is-read-as-harm-autisticLet me know what you think.The AutSide is a reader-supported publication. To support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit autside.substack.com/subscribe

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