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The Basement Yard

#538 - Meet Us At The Bowling Alley

19 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 8.114 Joe Santagato

Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to the basement yard.

0

8.314 - 9.876 Frank Alvarez

Frank, wearing Picky Boys merch.

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10.236 - 12.859 Joe Santagato

Wow. Yeah, hell yeah. Free plug.

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12.959 - 28.232 Frank Alvarez

Support my boys, you know? Support my boys. I wear enough Santa Gato Studios merch. I can try it out, you know? Yeah. This is the only graphic tee I've worn. Where did we get that? Did you have that? He had it in his office, and I looked for a new shirt because we're doubling it up today. Got it. We'll show them our sausage.

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28.352 - 32.096 Unknown

There's a... He said that there's too many mediums up there.

32.276 - 47.681 Frank Alvarez

Yeah. Yo, so for those of you guys who don't know, also, I don't even wear a medium anymore. Whom's it for then? Tiny Greg, maybe. I don't know. Greg's got broad shoulders, though, dude. He's like a walking hanger. Like, he's got, like, giant fucking shoulders.

47.701 - 47.841 Unknown

Really?

47.861 - 67.033 Frank Alvarez

And then he comes to, like, he comes to, like, a fucking, like, a what's-her-name Jetson point. We're bringing up the Jetsons again. Yeah, we're back. You're like, oh, he snuck that in there with much aplomb. Yeah. Well... I, I, we went on the days we double up. I try to like change my shirt or like take my hat off, you know, throw people off. Yeah.

67.173 - 69.657 Frank Alvarez

You know, and now you've completely given that away.

Chapter 2: What wild story is shared about a bowling alley experience?

2664.58 - 2677.742 Frank Alvarez

In the bathroom. Good. Like... All over them. What are you doing with your hands? All over them. I was with my brother-in-law

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2678.178 - 2680 Unknown

It seems like you're just telling the story.

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2680.04 - 2696.339 Frank Alvarez

No, no, no. There's a lot that I'm leaving out, and I'll tell you why afterward. But, like, one of the things that happened that night was – because this is when we would order pitchers. Yeah. We'd go, and it'd be like – that was, like, a big, like, early 2010s thing. Like, oh, wait, I can get a pitcher beer and not – and just drink out of the pitcher?

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2696.94 - 2716.262 Frank Alvarez

Like, people realized they could do that. And a pitcher of, like, Natty Light was, like, 15 bucks. Yeah. And I remember there was a guy there that we know and another guy there that we also know. One of them passed out drinking like drunk in the stall and the kid kicked open the door and pissed all over him.

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2716.923 - 2717.323 Joe Santagato

That's mean.

2717.664 - 2726.595 Frank Alvarez

And I was like, this is fucking insane. And I remember being with my brother-in-law and just being like, we can't ever come back here.

2726.913 - 2728.736 Joe Santagato

It goes down in the bowling alley, apparently.

2729.036 - 2729.777 Frank Alvarez

I would go back, though.

2730.538 - 2736.987 Joe Santagato

I want to go see where the piss happened. I think my sister went and took her kids, like, recently. Like, within the last two years.

Chapter 3: What are the implications of ordering food for delivery?

2814.718 - 2815.559 Frank Alvarez

That's embarrassing.

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2815.619 - 2820.786 Unknown

It's like jumping into a pool with your... I kind of throw it like a rugby ball, sort of.

0

2821.808 - 2827.576 Frank Alvarez

Oh, fuck you. I know exactly the type of guy he is. The fucking, you know, Dragon Ball Z kid.

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2827.616 - 2833.684 Unknown

The kamehameha. Yeah, like one finger's in the hole, and that's the spin, and you just...

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2833.799 - 2836.667 Frank Alvarez

Are you good? You know what? He asked if we're good. Are you?

2836.687 - 2845.593 Unknown

Because he knows he's good. I'm okay. I could beat you, too. What's that? How the fuck do you know? You just said you were bad. Well, I don't know how bad I am compared to you. Okay.

2845.653 - 2868 Frank Alvarez

That wasn't a sentence. The lack of confidence, probably. You know what? No. Now, if it's a competition, I'll fucking beat you both. We could do this. What's the highest you bowled? Oh, I don't know. 160-something? Yeah, like 150. Maybe. I think I've bowled a 150. Here's the thing. I'm either getting a strike or I'm not getting anything.

2868.02 - 2885.374 Frank Alvarez

Like, I'm either getting a strike or I'm getting five pins and that I'm missing the spare. I don't go for spare. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I don't even know what I would usually bowl. I mean, I don't think that I would bowl under 100. That's pretty bad.

2885.394 - 2888.82 Unknown

If under 100 is you don't really go around on a first date to bowling.

Chapter 4: How do personal experiences shape opinions on restaurant reviews?

2935.112 - 2954.624 Frank Alvarez

I don't know if it was a first date, but like. Yeah, bowling is one of those things that like you need to confidently bowl at least 100 to go on a date with someone. You have to be able to like hit a strike every now and then. But if you're hitting like five gutters in a row, like what are we doing here? Yeah, first eight, you need to pull out, like, at least a 100 score. At least.

0

2955.105 - 2956.809 Frank Alvarez

And one of those 100 need to be a strike.

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2956.969 - 2958.853 Joe Santagato

If not, you're in trouble.

0

2960.677 - 2968.747 Frank Alvarez

I don't know how to ice skate. You can't ice skate? No. I could stay up. I can't move. That's not ice skating.

0

2969.688 - 2971.409 Unknown

Ice standing, I believe. I can stand.

2971.49 - 2978.597 Joe Santagato

I can stand. I can skate, but not like a fucking hockey player.

2978.617 - 2995.296 Frank Alvarez

I can't get over the fact that you bowl with two hands. Yo, if we were in high school at the same time, I would have fucking hated you. That's fine. You would have lost in bowling. Wow. We knew kids that bowled on their high school team. Yeah, one of our friends had watched them bowl to 300. See, that's...

2995.867 - 3007.809 Joe Santagato

I've also seen him bowling a 300. Like, I've seen him do it, and then I saw him doing it and getting, like, to the last frame, and our friend bowled in his frame by accident.

3007.97 - 3008.25 Frank Alvarez

Yo.

Chapter 5: What unique perspectives emerge about food delivery and restaurant quality?

3111.606 - 3133.919 Frank Alvarez

Yeah, I don't think I'd ever be able to do that. I'd reach a point of insanity that I would just leave. I would need a coach also. If I could be there with a coach, I could probably get it done in months. I have to say, when we were just bowling, my hand starts to cramp and hurt. My inner palm. Your palm? Yeah. It started to slap at this thing on its ass? No.

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3134.26 - 3145.617 Frank Alvarez

I don't know what I was doing, but it started to hurt. I was just like, I can't do more than... We played a game and a half because the kids were starting to lose it. I don't think I could do more than two games. Did you guys get bumps?

0
0

3146.543 - 3168.463 Frank Alvarez

So the one that we went to, it does bumpers for specific players. It's, like, computered now. Yeah. So, like, it'll be, like, for certain bowlers, it'll be bumpers. And then they'll literally, like, when it's, like, my turn, they'll just go down. Which I was like, yo, I mean. I'll bump. I'll bump it up. You know, we don't need to put them down. Dude, I don't even know that I could beat.

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3168.483 - 3186.551 Frank Alvarez

You can't even beat, like, an actual, like, good bowler if you had. That would be a good video if we had a professional bowler come in and it's, like, three of us versus him or her. Crazy. Oh, and it's like a scramble. So, like, best ball. Lane?

3186.571 - 3187.232 Unknown

Lane?

3187.87 - 3198.002 Frank Alvarez

No, I'm saying, like, if it was, like, a professional bowler and then three of us or two of us, two of us, and we have to combine to beat this professional bowler.

3198.323 - 3199.564 Unknown

Oh, we could do that.

3199.644 - 3205.812 Frank Alvarez

Oh, no, we can't do that. Why not? An actual professional bowler? I know. That's the point. That would be funny.

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