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The Basement Yard

#548 - Are We There Yet?

30 Mar 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 35.25 Joe Santagato

welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard i'm here with frank and i'm also here with ant who bought that fucking hat in the airport yesterday i watched him really yeah that's what you bought he bought that and a sweater of all the things you could buy you just bought that bought a hat What do you want me to do? It just seems like a really, like, buy anything else.

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35.27 - 41.301 Unknown

Like what? We had 30 minutes. It was a layover. I never been to St. Louis. Got a hat.

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41.862 - 48.35 Joe Santagato

Do you count, by the way? No, I was going to ask. That was going to be my question. Does that count as having been to St. Louis? No. No way.

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48.571 - 48.891 Ant

Why not?

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48.912 - 53.02 Joe Santagato

You gotta be outside. You gotta, like, go to a place. He's gatekeeping being places.

53.441 - 55.104 Ant

I am. He loves to do this. He is gatekeeping. I am.

55.124 - 73.576 Joe Santagato

Because him, Zach, and Greg on tour the last two years would do all, like, who's been to the most places. So, like, they've come up with these rules because it's like, oh, well, I've done layovers in these. And they're just like, it doesn't count because I haven't. You could say that you've been there and you've purchased something. No shot. I bought something there. I fully support it.

73.596 - 77.521 Joe Santagato

An airport is not part of the land. It's not part of the sky.

77.702 - 78.082 Frank

Absolutely is.

Chapter 2: What are the criteria for counting a place visited?

92.303 - 116.858 Joe Santagato

And if you stop at a— What the hell? It's different. Drive-thru counts way more than flying, but I consider flying to be okay, too. No, if you're going to say that you went to a place, you have to step on the floor outside there. You've got to go to a place. So we drove from Chicago to home. Yes. And we drove through Ohio. We drove through— So, like, let's use Ohio as an example.

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117.359 - 126.237 Joe Santagato

I step out, and I use the bathroom at a rest stop in Ohio. I've been to Ohio. I'm not saying, I don't count that. I personally wouldn't count that.

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126.257 - 131.887 Ant

Because this is, but that meant all your criteria. This is, exactly. He got out, he touched the ground, he went to a place.

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131.907 - 147.454 Joe Santagato

You see what I mean about gatekeeping places? But gas stations aren't part of the place. Yes, they are. No, if you went to like a coffee shop that was like local. This guy, why do you do this? It's true. No, it's not. First of all, why are you the end all be all of places going? Because I'm the one who's making up the thing. Right.

0

Chapter 3: How do layovers affect travel experiences?

147.434 - 164.817 Joe Santagato

It's a well-known thing. You don't have to go by my rules. These are my rules. Not only will I not go by your rules, I will do my best to tell you that your rules are stupid. I don't count when I've done that. I've driven through West Virginia. I don't tell people I've been to West Virginia. But you've been through West Virginia. I've driven through it. I don't know what it's like at all.

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165.758 - 190.3 Joe Santagato

Did you do this? Did you have these when you drove through? Yeah. Or did you go through like this? No, I just don't think, I think you need to experience the culture in a place. The culture. Yeah, and that requires you going to a place. Tell me about the culture you experienced when you went to Las Vegas. The culture of Las Vegas, absolutely. That's an easy one.

0

190.938 - 207.877 Joe Santagato

He's trying to gatekeep places and going places. What's the difference of driving through, and I flew to California, so all the states below me count? No, because you're not on the ground. So you have some criteria here. You have to be on the ground. Yeah, but, like, okay, sure.

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208.057 - 209.501 Ant

Yeah! Sure. Got him!

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209.561 - 215.352 Joe Santagato

Sure. My criteria, though, allows for Ant to say that he has been to St.

215.372 - 220.562 Ant

Louis. I hate to be this guy, but I think my staying in the airport in St. Louis counts more than your gas station.

221.243 - 231.002 Joe Santagato

That's ridiculous. I was just supporting you. Now I am recanting it. You are a fake human being. I think that's insane because you don't even know what it looks like. All you know is what the airport looks like.

230.982 - 232.263 Ant

There's glass.

232.283 - 237.95 Joe Santagato

The driving through is way more of an experience than the landing in an airport and getting up and flying out of it.

Chapter 4: What is the significance of experiencing local culture?

415.039 - 423.533 Joe Santagato

You can't be going. So the only time that you could say you've went to places is if you go and you actually experience it. Yeah, you gotta, like, plant yourself.

0

423.553 - 428.713 Ant

So... If he drove straight through St. Louis.

0

429.153 - 429.393 Joe Santagato

Yeah.

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429.714 - 435.059 Ant

But I stopped at the airport and was there. Both no. And bought something. Who's more though?

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435.079 - 437.522 Joe Santagato

The airport is like not real. I am more there.

437.702 - 442.127 Ant

I am physically more there. But you drove straight through it. I landed.

442.547 - 457.838 Joe Santagato

He was able to see more than you though. I was able to see more than you. And by definition, my presence has been around more than yours has. You're staring at runways. Yeah, what are you singing? I was on your side.

457.858 - 460.923 Ant

Over, over, over, while we were landing. I saw a bunch. Nah. I saw the whole scene.

460.943 - 472.18 Joe Santagato

So you've been to the whole fucking Atlantic then, too. Like, bro, before I went to France, I connected in France. I would never tell someone I've been to France. But you had been.

Chapter 5: What viral videos are mentioned about the Boston slide?

2579.894 - 2596.07 Joe Santagato

I saw that there are other videos of people. Would you go down that? 100%. Yeah, yeah. I got to, like, wear, like, pads on my ass. Look it up. People, like, the viral Boston slide. There have been videos of people, like, going down and greasing it. Why? I mean, they're asking for it. I'm telling you, pull those videos up. They go down. Oh, my God.

0

2596.09 - 2601.497 Joe Santagato

And, like, they fucking fly down this son of a bitch. That's awesome, dude.

0

Chapter 6: What are the ideas around adult playgrounds?

2602.159 - 2617.836 Joe Santagato

Oh man, I love that. The one of the cop is really... The one of the cop was the one that went mega viral at first. It's taking a lot of the juice. Yo, coming out of the slide, upside down, face down. What? That's incredible. They're flying down, right?

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2617.856 - 2630.239 Unknown

No, I can't find it. It's only the cop, but I found another one of the cop. Wait, hold on. I just want to show this. This one is just, it says local Boston cop gets sucked into slide.

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2633.459 - 2653.915 Joe Santagato

yo that looks even crazier oh my god no I mean come on yo that doesn't even look like it would be that wild when you're like staring look up I'm telling you dude you have to find it people greasing that Boston slide alright I'll try I hear me out what if we just start making adult playgrounds again

0

2655.802 - 2682.45 Joe Santagato

they're called gyms no no but gyms are like you're going for health purposes like adult playgrounds where you can go down a bigger slides and like there's like adult swings dude what aren't swings just adult swing no a lot of swing sets are made for kids so like they're like like someone with long legs like me can't swing back and forth that well because my i clip my feet on the ground pick your feet up hey man

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2685.62 - 2688.764 Joe Santagato

On the way back, my feet are so low, I clip the ground.

Chapter 7: What experiences do the hosts share about jumping off swings?

2690.407 - 2709.332 Joe Santagato

That feels like it. You know what you got to do? You got to swing the swing over the thing one time. Make it shorter. Oh, that's actually not a bad idea. I completely forgot about that. But I don't want to be that guy. Have you been on a swing recently? Have you ever done the backflip off of the dismount? Do you not remember the time, the jumping off of the swings that we used to do?

0

2709.793 - 2736.793 Joe Santagato

But you've done the backflip? Yeah. So have you tried to do that as an adult? no i i tried to do that this was probably like five years ago oh my god dude my life flashed before my eyes i wouldn't do it like i remember i have pictures of when we were teenagers jumping off and like I remember from that height falling and rolling my ankle. And if I did that now, it's not rolling. It's over.

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2737.013 - 2748.499 Joe Santagato

It's pulverized. Yeah, yeah. Pulverized. I did it because I remember being young and doing it so effortlessly. Like, it was the easiest thing in the world for me to do. Yeah. And then when I did it, I, like...

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2748.479 - 2773.153 Joe Santagato

came around and i was like what have i done and then as i was like i landed mad weird and like landed on my ass i was like i'm never doing that again you're a brave person for having done that five years i honestly didn't think that it was going to be hard i thought it was going to be easy but i guess i just hadn't done in a while i mean life one of the things that people won't tell you about getting older is that like your body just can't do what it used to do

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2773.133 - 2783.413 Joe Santagato

Not if you don't do it. I mean, it was... Ant, what are you looking up there, buddy? Oh.

2783.433 - 2784.535 Unknown

Is that like an ad? Yeah.

Chapter 8: How do the hosts discuss their favorite foods?

2784.836 - 2787.581 Joe Santagato

It was a bunch of big-titted women.

0

2788.563 - 2796.284 Unknown

This is the basement yard thing. It's not mine. The basement yard what? Google. Google? You're the only one who uses that computer.

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2796.364 - 2799.007 Ant

I thought about that. You're right.

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2799.027 - 2820.997 Joe Santagato

Did you find any of those? Nothing was better than that cop. Nothing. Nothing was better than that cop. Oh, man. That's a good one, though. Dude, speaking of videos, though, can you pull up the video of the animatronics? Oh, man. This is such a freak show thing that is going on. Okay. So, the context, to my understanding, this girl... Likes animatronics.

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2821.238 - 2830.549 Ant

I believe she builds animatronics or she likes this one and the premise is she brought her animatronic to a show of animatronics. Yeah. And I hate that.

2830.569 - 2843.586 Joe Santagato

This is such a freaky thing I saw on TikTok and I was like, dude, please. To see his favorite band. Who's his favorite band? Like Kiss? Oh, it's other animatronics. What are you doing?

2843.606 - 2851.054 Ant

I don't like that one. What's wrong? Which one? That big one with the guitar. I don't like it. Why? I don't know. It looks like it's going to come at me. It's not.

2852.555 - 2878.212 Joe Santagato

You played too much Five Nights at- Are you like that? Get the fuck out of here, this old bag. Wait. Oh, no. I really don't fuck with birds with eyes with humans. Human eyes? Is this like the country bears? I don't know. I don't like that these guys are moving around. Oh, no. They killed him. Oh, anything with legs. I don't mind animatronics. You've played too much Five Nights at Freddy's, Ant.

2878.252 - 2899.385 Joe Santagato

That's what it is. I don't like it. Oh, that's Chucky. That is Chucky. Oh, that is Chucky. Okay, that feels like cultural appropriation. I mean, definitely the Italian with the accordion. This guy's bad. First of all, I'm decapitating this thing. If I ever saw this thing in person, I'm shooting it with a real life gun. For real. Yeah. It's just... Wait, why does she have an animatronic?

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