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The Basement Yard

#550 - We Are Podcastmaxxing

13 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 9.206 Ant Prisco

Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how are you doing?

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9.226 - 22.849 Joe Santagato

I'm doing well. How are you doing? I'm doing great, and why don't you wear some more stuff and plug your own podcast? It's getting ridiculous now. This guy's fucking crazy, dude. It's getting crazy now. It is, right? It's getting crazy. Just like the product placement. This guy, he's giving away free plugs on his shoulder. It's not fucking his!

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22.829 - 25.773 Frank Alvarez

I don't know which one you're talking about. What's the name of it?

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26.254 - 28.838 Joe Santagato

Yeah, I don't know. I like that hat, though.

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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about product placements?

28.938 - 30.8 Joe Santagato

I like that a lot. That's really nice. That's it.

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30.82 - 34.706 Frank Alvarez

That's all you're getting. Yeah, I don't. That's enough for me.

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34.726 - 53.483 Joe Santagato

I will say those candies that you're wearing, love them. You don't like them? God, those suck. Those are one of the worst all-time candies. No shot. We are in a great candy season. We were in a great candy season. Easter, our Lord, and he came back. He are risen. What is it? Is, Frank. He is risen.

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53.503 - 54.865 Ant Prisco

He is risen.

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55.266 - 71.496 Joe Santagato

He did rise. I don't see, like, that's why I don't like old-timey English, because it's not good. Like they were all like, he has risen. Yeah. That's what I would say if I were, but he, he is like a capital H. I know. I know.

Chapter 3: What are the hosts' thoughts on candy during the Easter season?

71.576 - 90.021 Joe Santagato

So if it's like, you know, but that's not the part of it that bothers me. It's the is risen. What? So has risen. Yeah. He has risen. He's going to be rising. Take a look. There he is. The Bible's like, yo, he has been – what did you say? He's going to be rising. He's going to be rising. I wonder if – He's going to be rising.

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90.401 - 120.278 Joe Santagato

I know that they make like – Miles has a Bible that's like a graphic novel comic book and it's called like the Action Bible. I wonder if like someone would like take the Bible and like translate it into like modern lingo. I'm sure. And it's like the apostles are like, this is giving resurrection right now. Shut it. It's giving leprosy. This is, oh my, this is giving frankincense.

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120.439 - 129.4 Joe Santagato

Pontius Pilate is like giving Mean Girl right now. Oh, I don't like Brutus. Was that the one? No, that was Caesar. I'm not. Who's the one that like went against Judas?

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129.68 - 135.775 Ant Prisco

Judas. Brutus and Caesar. Wasn't Caesar like, yeah, that was a different.

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135.795 - 154.228 Joe Santagato

That was Rome, wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. And a salad. Yeah, dude. Where are you on Caesar salad? I like Caesar salad, but I think that people, when they have their first Caesar salad, they go down a rabbit hole. People, when they try Caesar salad for the first time, they're like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing, and then everything.

154.449 - 174.277 Joe Santagato

Caesar salad wraps, bro, they're good, but everyone chill. It's like drugs for people. I do think that we're getting away from, like, the point of Caesar. Like, Caesar needs to be a salad dressing, and, like, I don't want this, like, bagged. I want it, like, real Caesar. You know what I mean? Bagged? Yeah, like pre-made Caesar. Oh, no.

174.297 - 179.124 Joe Santagato

Have you seen those, like, people at the restaurants making it with, like, just two spoons?

179.144 - 185.693 Ant Prisco

Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Yeah, I went to a restaurant, I got the Caesar, and then they, like, take a little anchovy, and they crush it up, and they, like, fucking...

185.673 - 195.876 Joe Santagato

That's the only place that I'm cool with mustard, knowing that it's there. You know what I mean? In a Caesar? In a Caesar. I know mustard's in there, and I'm like, I'll allow it. Yeah. You like Caesar salad wraps?

Chapter 4: How do the hosts define and react to the concept of maxing?

1330.356 - 1335.808 Joe Santagato

Yeah. I'm with you on that one. Well. We could be. We're podcast maxing.

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1335.788 - 1359.012 Joe Santagato

true yeah we are we are podcast maxing i guess you can be maxing anything i think it's funny like if you were closer to the frame than joey like look i'm frame maxing you that's so funny like that's so funny to me oh it's like used against someone yeah yeah it's competition like looks maxing you're trying to outlook and like mogging is like if you're if you look better than me then it's like frank's mog and joe i'm mogging you yeah

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1360.645 - 1385.132 Joe Santagato

These are all words that I don't know. Well, yeah. We're learning something today. Who told you that the basement yard podcast wasn't educational? Like, you're watch-mogging right now. I mean, you said it, not me. But he's bank account-mogging all of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's bank account-maxing. He's cash-maxing. He's cash-maxing. He's cash-maxing. He's investment-maxing, too.

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1385.153 - 1412.322 Joe Santagato

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh... Just the fact that he has this studio. He's studio maxing us. Studio maxing. So I guess he's mogging our studio. He's mogging you in a studio fashion, yeah. Yeah. It happens, you know? Studio mogging maxing. Even though we're all jester maxing. What is that? It's like funny, like a jester. Oh, so I mugged Jester Max you? That I don't know. Now I don't even know.

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1412.342 - 1416.689 Joe Santagato

I might get a nosebleed in a minute. I honestly don't know any of how this works.

1416.909 - 1427.065 Frank Alvarez

Yeah, I don't know, but... Jester Maxing describes as behaving overly funny, entertaining, or foolish to attract attention from women and friends.

1427.085 - 1428.708 Joe Santagato

Well, I'm not doing that. I guess we're not doing that.

1429.169 - 1432.013 Ant Prisco

Well, I'm just going to leave out that part, but...

1432.735 - 1450.494 Joe Santagato

Yeah, because we're doing this to have a successful podcast. It's not like it's like, let's get the ladies. Yeah, yeah. We're gesture maxing. Podcast maxing. I think let's do that. That's the title? No, please, God, no.

Chapter 5: What are the implications of 'boner chocolate'?

2514.943 - 2522.931 Frank Alvarez

It's life-threatening. Speaking of cats, last thing. When Frankie walked in today, I thought his hat was a cat sandwich.

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2524.801 - 2535.612 Joe Santagato

Can I see it? I don't even know. And I said the same thing. I was like, where do you see cats? I don't see cats, but I also don't know what's that. Is that a sloppy Joe or something?

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Chapter 6: How does blood circulation relate to erections?

2535.793 - 2538.22 Joe Santagato

It's a beef, a slice. It's like a beef sandwich.

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2539.6 - 2541.423 Frank Alvarez

I think it looks like a bunch of jumbled cats.

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2543.626 - 2550.276 Joe Santagato

I guess. If I squint and turn it sideways, maybe I could see it like a cat.

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2550.797 - 2552.479 Frank Alvarez

No, no, a bunch of cats. It's a bunch of cats.

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2552.559 - 2564.117 Joe Santagato

No, no, no. I get what you're saying. Got it. What? We got it when we threw out the pitch for the Bowie Bay Sox. They were like, do you want a hat with a beef sandwich on it? And I said, yeah.

Chapter 7: What are the potential dangers of prolonged erections?

2564.357 - 2587.426 Joe Santagato

Oh, we had the beef sandwiches. Yeah, and it had cheese on it. Yeah. Very happy about that. Sorry. Last thing on cats. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to. I mean, hopefully no one. They say that like it could lower your blood pressure and then you can, you know, it's. Well, because it takes your blood and puts it in your penis. Isn't that what it does?

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2587.666 - 2602.367 Joe Santagato

Yeah, I think that's... Isn't that what Dr. Mike told us? Yeah, it, like, sends a lot of blood there. It's just, like, calling all cars, calling all cars. We need you in the dick. Everyone get to the penis stat. How does it know where to go? Well, I mean, when you get a boner, that's what's happening.

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2602.387 - 2623.955 Joe Santagato

Yeah, but, like, how does your blood know, like... How does the pill make the blood know, like, go to the boner? I think it's just a... Like, circulatory thing? Yeah, like, it just makes that, like, easier. So, oh, okay. So it's like your brain knows that you're trying to get a boner, so you take the pill and it works in tandem with the blood, so it knows where to send it. Yeah, it's optimizing.

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2624.276 - 2625.898 Joe Santagato

Your brain is playing crossing guard.

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2626.078 - 2628.541 Ant Prisco

I thought you were going to... Yeah.

2628.561 - 2628.661 Joe Santagato

What?

2628.681 - 2631.785 Ant Prisco

You're circulatory maxing.

2631.805 - 2632.486 Joe Santagato

No, no. I'm serious.

2632.727 - 2634.288 Frank Alvarez

I need to chill.

Chapter 8: How do snacks reflect our childhood memories?

2634.309 - 2635.11 Joe Santagato

I was going to stop.

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2635.15 - 2637.833 Frank Alvarez

This does feel like something, if you were younger, you'd be running with.

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2639.298 - 2645.507 Joe Santagato

Oh, I would have been miserable with this. I would have been a not good version of myself with this whole maxing thing.

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2645.527 - 2647.63 Ant Prisco

Have you ever taken a Viagra or Cialis?

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2647.75 - 2656.322 Frank Alvarez

No, I haven't. You? I have the same fear you have. That it's going to ruin you. I'm going to need it. And I'm good. That's why I was... Yeah, things are all right. Yeah, I'm working.

2656.942 - 2662.47 Joe Santagato

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Don't fix a leaky pipe. Well, no. You need to fix it.

2662.67 - 2670.542 Ant Prisco

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There it is. Hey, don't fix a leaky pipe. Let it leak. Let it get all over the ground.

2670.562 - 2672.024 Frank Alvarez

Car's broken down? Don't fix it.

2672.184 - 2674.607 Ant Prisco

Don't fix the busted tire.

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