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The Basement Yard

#556 - Siblings Or Dating?!

25 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What humorous childhood pee stories do the hosts share?

0.031 - 29.903 Joe Santagato

welcome back to the base welcome back to the basement yard oh oh oh oh i was you know what i was doing it and then i started cleaning and i'm doing it back again i should have pissed oh i should have peed before i should have pissed i should well you're locked in i'll hold it i'll hold it till the ads don't hold it physically and did you used to do that as a kid did you pinch your little pp hmm what you would pinch your wiener

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31.267 - 34.671 Frank Alvarez

Let me just one minute of 10 seconds in. Okay. Okay.

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35.972 - 43.96 Joe Santagato

You would pinch your wiener? No. Wait, is it you who said that you used to stop your pee in the middle of peeing by pinching your wiener?

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46.523 - 48.545 Unknown

Right-handed. Right-handed.

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48.705 - 51.268 Joe Santagato

There is a tone coming from your voice.

51.689 - 52.489 Unknown

Is that you?

53.43 - 58.776 Joe Santagato

Not me now. I'm not like now cutting it off just to fucking for shits and gigs. Yeah.

60.629 - 83.312 Joe Santagato

i have at times been able to you know pinch it close the door you know close the storm drain or whatever they say hold the door you know but but yeah you didn't do that as a kid when you had to pee you would like i would just kind of like fiddle with it what see that's weirder that's weird the pinching makes sense

Chapter 2: How do the hosts describe their bathroom habits at night?

84.085 - 105.857 Joe Santagato

No, it doesn't. I feel like when I have to pee, I can buy myself 10 minutes of not having to pee. By like... Holding your breath? No, like breathing the piss back into my body. Okay. You know what I'm... No, don't do this thing that you guys do sitting in your ivory tower looking down at me like I'm a fucking idiot. I can't breathe my piss back into my body. Sue me. You can't like...

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107.744 - 123.061 Joe Santagato

And then, like, absorb some of your pee again? When I have to pee, you know what I do? If I gotta pee really bad, you know how you get that, like, pain, kinda? Yeah. The only thing that kinda relieves that pain is if I stand like this. Just break the whole set.

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Chapter 3: What awkward situations arise from misinterpreting sibling and dating dynamics?

123.081 - 132.051 Joe Santagato

Like, if I stand like this. So, like... Like, I have to, like, be bent over. Well, because when you're standing up straight, you're putting pressure on... Yeah, see?

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132.071 - 132.892 Unknown

Like, you're putting pressure.

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132.932 - 136.335 Joe Santagato

So, I'm, like, throwing my shit back. You're fucking throwing it back on him.

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136.436 - 136.696 Unknown

Yeah.

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136.836 - 137.717 Joe Santagato

So...

137.697 - 164.042 Joe Santagato

so okay i guess that kind of like relieves some sort of pain but like when i'm sitting i do get that because like if i'm sitting and i have to pee sometimes i'll like unbuckle everything pull like yeah like the waist of my pants out yep you know so i'm in like a more natural sitting position yeah yeah if i wake up and i have to pee and i'm on my left side i could buy myself like five minutes if i roll around to the other side i don't know because it has to drain back into its pee position yeah something like that i don't know i'm with you there

165.187 - 175.913 Joe Santagato

I'm honestly with you. You're like five feet from our bathroom. How do you know his fucking bedroom? I mean, I'm assuming there's a bathroom. I wanted to say our bathroom. Like, you guys are sleeping together?

Chapter 4: How do the hosts react to the concept of siblings versus dating?

175.934 - 181.828 Joe Santagato

What? That would be crazy, right? Well, yeah. I said a bathroom.

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183.209 - 185.835 Frank Alvarez

It could be eight feet. You don't know the fall.

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185.895 - 187.258 Joe Santagato

The point is that it's close.

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187.438 - 189.322 Frank Alvarez

But you just don't want to get up sometimes.

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189.863 - 202.23 Joe Santagato

Yes, exactly. When it comes to having to piss in the middle of the night, logic escapes just for being able to sleep comfortably longer and in a deeper sense. I do close my eyes and pee sitting down in the middle of the night.

202.21 - 229.095 Joe Santagato

sure whatever works for you but what i'm saying is like i will push i will push having to pee in the night until like i'm getting to that that point of a dream where i'm like in front of a urinal and i'm like all right now i know if i piss in this urinal i'm gonna actually piss the bed i well i i actually get this part because if it's the middle of the night and i have to pee i will hold my piss until i'm like hallucinating from pain and then i'll go i i don't know if that's a good thing to do i think we've learned from it doesn't happen often

229.868 - 238.06 Joe Santagato

I mean, hallucinating. That seems like you're way past, like, the threshold for having to do that. Exaggerating comedy show.

Chapter 5: What are the hosts' thoughts on public displays of affection among siblings?

240.464 - 262.719 Joe Santagato

I didn't know if you were actually seeing stars when you piss. No, no, no. But you know when you have to pee real bad, and then you finally get the chance to pee, and your penis is like, we're going to let it out slower than normal. Yeah, like, my dick blue balls me. Yeah, it's like, okay, um... You want to pee so bad, don't you? Yeah, it's like, here's a little bit of pee.

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262.74 - 278.196 Joe Santagato

You're going at my pace, bitch. When you just, like, have to pee and, like, you go, it's like, you get to pee and you're pissing. Dude, I could power wash some pavers with my piss. I know, but then when you really have to pee and you've been holding it for so long and you finally get out of the Uber and then you run into your room... Oh, run into your room.

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278.396 - 293.976 Joe Santagato

And then you run into your bathroom and then you take a pee, it's like... It's gotta warm up. I'm telling you right now, like, I would be afraid to sit when I pee because, like, at that level when you're saying, like, in the middle of the night... Because I would have to aim this thing straight down.

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294.056 - 294.156 Unknown

I do.

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Chapter 6: How do the hosts handle the topic of personal relationships?

294.176 - 316.542 Joe Santagato

Because that stream will come out the front of my fucking toilet seat. You know what I'm saying? This thing, it's like 40,000 PSI of piss. Whose voice is that? 40,000. 40,000. 40,000 PSI of piss. Yeah, no, middle of the night, I'm sitting down, I'm closing my eyes, and I'm trying to stay in a dream while I am peeing. If you could take a pill...

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316.522 - 327.744 Joe Santagato

That would guarantee you don't have to piss during the night. Would you take it nightly? I don't pee in the night often. Really? I piss at least once a night, I would say. I only pee in the middle of the night if I had drank a lot of water.

0

Chapter 7: What unique interactions do the hosts have with their families?

327.944 - 335.779 Joe Santagato

See, the thing is, I've gotten better with drinking more fluids during the day, but Becca, every night...

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336.029 - 361.851 Joe Santagato

has a bottle like a bottle of ice water next to like on her nightstand so i'm more likely to be in bed and drink water because she has it and it's right there you know what i mean you take her water so i'll take her water and i won't give it back and i'll say no water for you i'm gonna get up and no but like it's right there so like i probably drink more consistently when i'm lying in bed than when i do during the day what was the most annoying thing you've ever knocked over on your nightstand next to your bed

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363.248 - 393.273 Joe Santagato

oh becca all right this is a real story and this was a like one of the first arguments we got into what could this be this is a real thing and i want you to tell me where you where like if you agree with me or probably her i can before we begin i'm on her side okay all right i'll jump on that too It was when we were first dating. We were maybe a little over or a little under a year into dating.

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393.293 - 412.122 Joe Santagato

And she spent the night at my place. And she had gotten a nice coffee. And I don't know if your partners are like this, but she takes two sips of her coffee. And then she needs her big coffee and takes two sips. And she's like, I've had enough. And I've had enough. I'm like, just get a smaller coffee, dude. And she left it on my nightstand.

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413.907 - 438.43 Joe Santagato

and i went to make my bed and again this is 24 year old frankie so cut me some fucking slack okay and i went to make my bed and in throwing my blanket i knocked it over and it fell on the floor okay and i was pissed at myself but also i said to her i was like next time don't leave coffee on my nightstand and i think now that i'm saying it out loud i realized i was a douchebag in that moment

439.642 - 442.188 Joe Santagato

No, I don't think that was... I thought it was going to be way worse.

Chapter 8: How do the hosts conclude their discussion about relationships and boundaries?

442.208 - 463.625 Joe Santagato

Yeah, that was going to be way worse. I think you're still... I'm leaning you. Oh, really? Keep going. So, like, I knocked it over and it was my fault, but also her fault. Not her fault. I get you being like, you know... Like, it's not like, don't leave it on my nightstand because I like to make my bed really hard. Yeah. You know, it's not like, you know.

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463.885 - 477.791 Joe Santagato

You were looking to cushion some of the blame. I think I was just in a pissy mood that day and probably was just having a bad day. And I was just like, and this happened because of you. I make my bed hard. Yeah. I'm fluffing it. Yeah.

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478.092 - 479.875 Frank Alvarez

I was laying down.

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480.175 - 505.761 Joe Santagato

whipped the blanket off me chocolate milk all over any like you're a grown adult with a glass of chocolate milk on your night it was also why are you drinking milk on your night it was a red solo cup even crazy it was a red solo cup of chocolate milk yeah honestly you're not helping what is the occasion how does that call for were you 12 it was it was just it just there was chocolate milk there was were you 12

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505.741 - 508.706 Frank Alvarez

I was not 12. How old were you? This was like a year ago.

509.568 - 511.171 Joe Santagato

Bro, why are you doing that?

511.211 - 512.513 Frank Alvarez

That is crazy. This was like a year ago.

512.633 - 532.386 Joe Santagato

I understand. Like, you can jet away. You're taking milk to bed like a kid. Yeah. Like, what are you? You're just like, oh, let me go get my warm glass of chocolate milk. Have you ever done that before bed? Like, actually, because you thought it was going to help you sleep and had warm milk? No. I've done that. Warm milk is disgusting.

532.426 - 555.423 Joe Santagato

There were nights in college where I couldn't fall asleep, so I would just microwave a cup of milk for 30 seconds and drink it. Why wouldn't you just have tea or something? It was college. What's on hand is on hand. I didn't have much going on. Did you drink it out of a saucer? Not a fucking red solo cup. Don't, don't, don't. Asher Roth over here. Don't start tossing things at me. Asher Roth.

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