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The Bill Simmons Podcast

Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal

06 Oct 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 16.702 Bill Simmons

The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new rewatchables coming on Monday. It is Robert Redford month. We did Jeremiah Johnson, one of Redford's. all timers.

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17.503 - 33.08 Bill Simmons

Uh, this is with Chris Ryan and my dad on the second time that he's ever been on a rewatch was probably the last time Shawshank and Jeremiah Johnson are his two favorite movies. So, uh, it's the three of us that has come on Monday. If you'd like to show task, we've been covering that on the prestige TV podcast as well.

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33.52 - 56.369 Bill Simmons

We have a lot of NBA stuff coming because suddenly the NBA season is starting, uh, a week from now. So, uh, you can check out the ringer NBA show. You can check out Zach Lowe's podcast, but we have a lot of, uh, A lot of good basketball content. And there'll be a bunch of stuff on this podcast coming next week. So stay tuned for that. You can watch the videos on my YouTube channel as well.

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56.389 - 77.06 Bill Simmons

You can watch the Rewatchables videos on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. And coming up on this podcast, I'm taping the intro after what happened in the Patriots-Bills game. It was a very happy night for me. I tried to contain myself because it's how it came on. And a lot of stuff happened on this podcast, but it was, I'm not sweaty. I'm just glistening.

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77.461 - 95.942 Bill Simmons

I'm glistening with joy after an unbelievable Patriots win. It's all coming up next. We're gonna take a break, bring in Pearl Jam and then Cousins South. This is the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. If you're betting on the NFL, Come on. Findo is the place to do it. They've got everything. Same game parlays, quick bets for when you want to jump in live.

96.524 - 117.829 Bill Simmons

Your way, so you can set your own lines on just about anything. The app's fast, it's easy to use, and best of all, when you win, you get paid instantly. I've been in Boston, Massachusetts recently. Guess what I did? Use Fando. Super fun. Download the Fando app or go to Fando.com slash BS to get started. Must be 21 plus president select states, 18 plus in DC, Kentucky, and Wyoming.

117.849 - 173.916 Bill Simmons

Get in a problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-789-777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. All right, live on YouTube on a Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here. I just watched my favorite football team beat Josh Allen in Buffalo. Say it, Sal. Drake definitely was the man of the game. My guy! My guy! I never stopped believing. Drake definitely came through.

174.156 - 187.596 Bill Simmons

Some big-ass plays. We needed some wild plays from him. All the worst guys in the team made penalties in the second half, and I started to wonder if it was going to happen, and they held on, Sal. What did you see?

189.779 - 207.985 Cousin Sal

I am not going to love this, Bill. This is going to be a rough 90 minutes or whatever we're doing here. No, he was freaking great. He's still Drake, maybe. Still barely beat the truly terrible Dolphins and lost to the Raiders, but he made every single throw count today. I mean, I don't even know where you want to start. To me, like...

Chapter 2: How did the Patriots perform against the Bills?

449.153 - 464.238 Bill Simmons

It wasn't like we were like, oh, I'm taking this for granted. It was like, oh man, this is going to end. It's going to suck. And then you have all these dudes and Mac Jones turned out to be disappointing. I'm glad he's found himself on San Francisco and Cam Newton and you know, Hoyers in there, all the zappy, all these dudes.

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464.278 - 480.735 Bill Simmons

And you start to wonder like, how many years are we just not going to have a quarterback? Like if you're the Raiders right now, if you're the Browns, you know, sometimes this could be two, three decades and they have a guy. And so they beat Buffalo, but more importantly, like they have a guy, they know they have a guy and there's only 10 of them and they have one of them.

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480.715 - 498.638 Cousin Sal

Love this. Love this. Love that you're overconfident again. Love that this means we could wait a couple weeks before digging into if Zion's going to win Comeback Player of the Year for the 16th. Oh, that's next week. Last week, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love it. I love right where you are. No, but of course, I get what you're saying. We sit through those 1 p.m.

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498.698 - 503.064 Cousin Sal

Eastern games, and you have to figure out, I think we're going to do the exercise in a few minutes.

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503.264 - 507.87 Bill Simmons

Yeah, we're going to do a bad QB draft later. I mean, we saw so many bad quarterbacks today.

507.85 - 509.232 Cousin Sal

So many. So many.

509.433 - 517.706 Bill Simmons

And that's it. It's like having a herp. That's it. It's on your lip for the next 20 years. A herp or a herp quarterback? I call it a herp.

Chapter 3: What are the key highlights from the Patriots-Bills game?

517.726 - 520.951 Bill Simmons

A herp? What is that? Is that Boston?

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520.971 - 522.413

A herp. A herp.

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522.774 - 527.841 Cousin Sal

Never heard that. Oh, my God. Now everyone's going to forget about the hot water because the herp is taking over.

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527.861 - 531.667 Bill Simmons

I'm not going to forget because I'm starting to sweat. I probably need the air conditioning on here.

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531.687 - 534.611 Cousin Sal

You're going to scald your throat for no reason. 77 degrees out.

534.631 - 554.994 Bill Simmons

Of course, my wife was hanging out in the back with a friend of hers having rosé and then came in and it was just classic. Two and a half minutes left. And I was like, hey, you know, and then she looked and saw the score. And at least we'd been together long enough where she was like, oh, it's 2020. Right. Eight and a half point underdogs. What'd you think of that line?

555.014 - 556.035 Bill Simmons

Did you take the pats, by the way?

556.695 - 564.802 Cousin Sal

No, I didn't take the pats. Ask me the other side. Ask me if I had the Bills money line to close out a bunch of parlays. That's the question you should be asking.

564.822 - 570.047 Bill Simmons

Well, I know you had the Cardinals. I cannot, absolutely cannot wait to talk about that. No, we can't talk about that.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of the Patriots' win for their season?

1215.41 - 1224.205 Cousin Sal

Is there a class you should take before that? Is that as important as everything? So that you should take a class to just kick ass in 40 seconds in a post-game?

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1225.167 - 1247.498 Bill Simmons

It's longer than that. It's like four minutes. And you have to remember like different things. I like when they have to, when they throw the game ball and the guy has to then talk. And it's like the, it's like the nickelback or like the kicker. You're like, yo, we got a great group of guys in here, man. We got to keep it up, man. Let's keep, let's keep working.

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1248.179 - 1257.734 Bill Simmons

And they just kind of, they don't know what to say. They need to coach those guys too. Yeah. They're just not ready for it. And then some guys will be amazing. All of a sudden, they're turning into a preacher.

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1258.756 - 1268.287 Cousin Sal

Some go too long. They should maybe play them off or do the comedian thing where they shine the light or something. But yeah, it sucks all the energy out. The long snapper doesn't need to go for three and a half minutes.

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1268.768 - 1284.397 Bill Simmons

My favorite was last week when we talked about that Ben Johnson one last week. He was basically like, this is what we knew. And it was like, the other team could have had a field goal and he would have lost. All they had to do was make a field goal. You're not giving a speech.

1284.417 - 1292.927 Cousin Sal

Well, we could talk about the Titans when we get to them, but that speech can only include about what the other team did to fuck up and not how great your team was.

1293.147 - 1316.543 Bill Simmons

The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel, the FanDuel Sportsbook app. You're home for all your favorite NFL bets from yards to touchdowns to who will win. And when the Chiefs and Jaguars play... Monday night, tonight, Fandle giving all customers a 50% same game parlay PBT or a 30% any bet PBT. I think the Chiefs are going to win. I believe in the Chiefs on a Monday night.

1318.306 - 1344.347 Bill Simmons

I'd probably do something with Chiefs money line, some sort of high adjusted... Adjust it over, like put in the 30s. The Lawrence interception, I think, has to be in there. And then something with Kelsey, like three catches and you're good to go. Fando.com slash BS. Bet the Chiefs versus the Jaguars with a 50% same game parlay PBT or 30% any bet type.

1344.327 - 1358.748 Bill Simmons

So you can just do the Chiefs money line and the Eagles money line on Thursday night. You're good to go. Play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner in the NFL. Must be 21 plus presidents like states are 18 plus and president of DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Opt-in required. Rewards are non-majorable.

Chapter 5: What insights do they share about quarterback performances?

3240.709 - 3259.205 Bill Simmons

I was looking at, uh, who they had last year. It was like, uh, or maybe two years ago. Oh, here it is. It was O'Connell, Minshew, and Ritter. 19 touchdowns, 16 interceptions. Geno's six TDs, nine interceptions right now. Not to mention all the other stuff.

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3259.325 - 3262.149 Cousin Sal

And he won his first game. Yeah, this is all last three for him.

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3262.169 - 3263.651 Bill Simmons

And he looked pretty good against the Pats.

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Chapter 6: How do they evaluate the Raiders' quarterback situation?

3263.671 - 3286.142 Bill Simmons

He was making big passes. In 23, they had O'Connell, Jimmy G, and Hoyer. They were 16 and 19 that year. 16 TDs, 19 picks. But those are the last three years of Raider QBs. If you go through the Raiders on Pro Football Reference, Carr comes in, they draft him. And they get like nine years at a car that are like, fine. Right? He made the playoffs that one year. It's pretty up and down.

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3286.162 - 3292.511 Bill Simmons

He had a couple of bad years, but for the most part, it was like, okay. Yeah. Right. It was like a C plus.

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3292.532 - 3297.819 Cousin Sal

It was one year, week 14, he was like tops at MVP odds, I remember. And then he got hurt or something, but yeah.

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3298.1 - 3317.589 Bill Simmons

Yeah, I know. It was okay. But then you go before that, like they had Carson Palmer for two years. They had Marcus Russell. They had that guy, Andrew Walter. He's going through it. It's like, oh, I forgot about that guy. Whoa, I forgot about that guy. They have a million of those. And Geno is supposed to solve it.

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3317.609 - 3333.688 Cousin Sal

And now they have a million and one. Yeah, he threw some balls today that not only should a 13-year vet not know to throw. Anyone who's ever watched football, anyone who's ever watched a friend play Madden shouldn't make some of those throws. And I can't believe he was in at the end.

Chapter 7: What are the key takeaways from their bad QB fantasy draft?

3333.968 - 3337.572 Cousin Sal

Even the Colts took out, even the Colts put Richards in it.

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3337.552 - 3357.578 Bill Simmons

That was amazing. I loved when Richardson came in and they cut to, he almost had a fumble or he had a pass deflected. He caught it. And then it cut to Danny Dimes on the headset, just like laughing. You may not be done, Dimes. They thought we were competing. You may have to come back in. Yeah, I wrote down, so the Raiders are one and four, I wrote down.

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3357.658 - 3380.018 Bill Simmons

Turns out mid-70s Pete Carroll, a washed up Chip Kelly, a multitasking Tom Brady, and apparently washed up Geno Smith and the son of Al Davis were not the dream team. In retrospect. Of course, I picked them to be the seventh seed in the playoffs. So I have some regrets. It was them, Jacksonville or Indiana or Indianapolis. And it looks like the other two.

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3380.418 - 3389.596 Cousin Sal

You know, all the talk about Brady shouldn't be allowed in the booth. He can't be interviewing these players. He can't do this. He's going to get inside. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Geno Smith, your quarterback.

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3389.616 - 3392.3 Bill Simmons

I think Brady solved the debate. They're fucking terrible.

3392.34 - 3402.533 Cousin Sal

What kind of inside information is he getting? He should say something tomorrow. He should be like, I hope this puts an end to all the talk about my cheating and my infiltration of these interviews.

3403.074 - 3416.952 Bill Simmons

If I wasn't getting all this inside information, we wouldn't be one and four. Yeah, right. So Geno has the most interceptions in his first five games since Zach Wilson in 2021. Nice.

3417.522 - 3422.573 Cousin Sal

That is rarefied air. Yeah. Not good. Not good at all.

3423.014 - 3431.832 Bill Simmons

Okay. So I took, I'm taking Gino second. You're up next. Oh, I, we're not doing the two. You don't get to. Okay. Oh, you want me to do two? I'll tell you now you can go. Let's go back and forth. You go.

Chapter 8: What parenting lessons are shared in Parent Corner?

3464.946 - 3470.658 Cousin Sal

Cooper Rush, it's over. Sorry. You have decent receivers. You have Derrick Henry. You should move the ball better than you did.

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3471.38 - 3487.995 Bill Simmons

Yeah, the thing with Gabriel, you know, he kind of wasn't like... I'll be telling my grandkids about him, but at least he was throwing like... nine-yard passes to players in spots where they could catch the ball, which sadly is passing for confidence in 2025.

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3488.035 - 3489.977 Cousin Sal

It looked like he practices. Yeah.

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3490.078 - 3509.022 Bill Simmons

Yeah. It's like, ah, that was a nice... It's the tight end really enjoyed being able to catch the ball right in front of his helmet like that. I'm taking Justin Fields. I've just... The 0-26, I think, is one of the craziest records. I just can't believe that if you're rooting for Justin Fields and you have this invisible...

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3509.305 - 3527.446 Bill Simmons

thing for the other team where it's like, man, if they get to 21, the game's now over. I've never seen anything like that. But the thing is, he's always, he'll always have two, three plays that kind of make you not want to give up on him yet. And he'll be like 38 and be like, ah, see that scramble? I don't know.

3527.807 - 3528.067 Cousin Sal

Right.

3528.928 - 3529.288 Bill Simmons

Yeah.

3529.308 - 3542.693 Cousin Sal

The 40 yard run goes a long way and not, and keeping him out of the basement for this draft. Right. Yeah. Who do you have with you? All right. I'm going to, um, You know what? I'm going to say Cam Ward right now.

3542.793 - 3543.435 Bill Simmons

I had him next.

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