The Bill Simmons Podcast
Oh No Mahomes, Burrow’s Funk, Old Man Rivers, Denver’s Hot Streak, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
15 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I have a new Rewatchables coming for you on Monday night. We did High Fidelity. We had four people for this one. Went almost two hours. This is the 25th anniversary of this movie. So we did it justice. I'm excited to have this one come out. You can watch it on all platforms. Watch it on Spotify. Watch it or listen to it.
Wherever. If you missed Music Box, we put up our latest installment, which was about Wizkid. So we have Jeff Buckley, Wizkid, and then this week, coming Thursday, The Counting Crows. Have you seen me lately? It's called... It's really about their first two albums. And the idea for this came from a podcast that I actually did on this feed with Adam Duritz once upon a time.
And we decided it would actually make for a really good documentary. So... It's really good. I can't wait for you to watch that one. So stay tuned. That's coming Thursday. You'll be able to watch it on HBO Max as soon as it goes up on. HBO, this was a really sad and just kind of an awful weekend.
We had the shootings at Brown University, which every parent's worst nightmare, every student's worst nightmare, every faculty member's worst nightmare, just horrible. There was another mass shooting in Australia. And then before we started doing this podcast, news broke that Rob Reiner and his wife were murdered at their house. And it seems like a family member was involved.
I'm not going to speculate on that, but there's pretty strong evidence that somebody who is related to them did it. And it's just an awful story. And Rob Reiner is one of those guys that I think had a pretty close to unanimous approval rating for just the career he had. He was a little bit of a one-on-one. When I was growing up, he was an all-in-the-family, which was...
one of the biggest half-hour shows of the 70s. It's certainly in the running. It was like mash all in the family. It was one of the icons and he was Archie Bunker's son-in-law. Then all of a sudden he did this crossover and he started directing. At that point he was Carl Reiner's son who had just been on the family and that was it. And he does Spinal Tap.
He does The Sure Thing, which is a movie we've wanted to do on rewatchables forever. But you can't find it anywhere. But it's John Cusack's breakout movie. It's great. And then he did Stand By Me. He did Princess Bride. He did When Harry Met Sally. He did Misery. He did A Few Good Men and American President. Six movies we've already done on the rewatchables. And we've done A Few Good Men twice.
And we've talked about him on those podcasts a couple times about some directors just have...
a knack for having like he had a basically a decade and a half long run there of just directing really entertaining rewatchable movies that mattered with big stars and putting stars in the right light um so he did that just that run alone it would have been uh would have been an incredible career for him but he also he did a bunch of stuff as an activist he was very very involved in the community out here and then on top of everything else started Castle Rock
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Chapter 2: What tragic events are mentioned during the episode?
He was in Sleepless in Seattle. You look at his IMDb, he was in more movies than you realize, but then you throw in the directing run he had too. And it was just an amazing career. And he seemed like one of those guys that was just going to be around forever. And now sadly he's not, but I think you'll hear a lot about him this week.
And I just thought, especially like, you know, rewatchables we've done 415, I think 450 movies at this point or something close. And there's just certain directors that, Something about the way they made the movie, you could watch it again and again and again for the next couple years, next 10 years, next 15 years, next 20 years. The choices they make, they just have a sense of what people want.
He was one of those guys. So I thought this was really, really sad news this weekend. I felt really bad for his family and just all his friends because he had a bunch of them. So I just wanted to mention that. Coming up, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk A lot of football we did, we went live on YouTube after the Cowboys game. So that's coming up after the break in Pearl Jam.
This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like expecting a linebacker on the football field, but getting a line cook. Sure, they both can handle the pressure when it starts heating up, but only one is stopping a touchdown.
You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team, so don't settle for just any insurance when it comes to getting help you need. State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. A December tradition going live after a Sunday night game that was really bad for the Dallas Cowboys. We'll start there. It was an action-packed Sunday night, but Sal, I think your season's over.
Any last words?
It sets up nicely for you, right? Nice little early Christmas gift for you. I'm happy. I'm happy.
What's the Christmas gift? You being sad? Yeah, you love it. How is that a Christmas gift?
You love this.
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Chapter 3: How did Rob Reiner influence the film industry?
I think this is a guy who finally realizes who he is. I think he would have done that whole thing. Uh, the Vikings, uh, I don't know. The quarterback, they're 6-8. Certainly probably have, I would say, enough talent to be better than a 6-8 team, but that's kind of the league this year. All right, enough about that game. Let's talk about a whole bunch of things that happened today. Great slate.
Very exciting slate. Going in and it lived up to its billing. Really did. Won 25 games Pacific time. Really nice. Really nice.
Yeah, we had a nice little multi-view in the late games where all the games were in play for a bunch of different reasons. We got to start with Chiefs Chargers. In the words of Brian Flanagan... Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.
This Chiefs thing, it ended badly for our wallets, for Chiefs Dynasty stuff, and then on top of it, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Mahomes, his body finally breaks down symbolically, and it seemed like, oh, he tweaked his knee, because he's a little like LeBron, where it seems like he's always hurt, but he's fine, and he's not fine. He tore his ACL. Their season's over.
I guess he'll be back for next season. That's for football. It seems like that's a nine, 10 month injury. So who knows? But I thought it was a shocking game because it's not like the Chargers did that much offensively. Their defense won the game, but it felt like before halftime,
And the Chargers, who did nothing, and they had this stupid drive, and then all of a sudden they score right before halftime. And I think Chiefs fans and people who had the Chiefs in parlays and straight ups were like, this is bad. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You and I were two of them. We were texting about it.
We were like, that was bad. Why do we do this? Last Sunday, exactly a week ago, what happens to us psychologically over the week? We left them for dead on this podcast. They got nothing left. Mahomes isn't the same. These receivers don't care. It's three and a half. Oh, wow. Went to four and a half. Oh, it's five and a half. Oh, we have to have this. Nothing at all changed from Sunday night.
But then we had to have the Chiefs at five and a half. But yeah, you're right. I was pissed off. I was mad that they were going to get a field goal before half, the Chargers. And then they end up getting a touchdown with 12 seconds left. I'm like, damn it. This is going to be tough to cover.
I think that was their only touchdown drive, right? That was it, right? Yeah. Three field goals. You know, they scored 16 points.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of the Chiefs' recent performance?
They might be a year away from... having the kind of ceiling. The way for them to make the Super Bowl was the way Denver is doing it now, where it's like, you have to come here and come through us and we're going to have round one off. Now they're going to have to have round one, you know, Houston coming to New England, which is terrifying. I know you saw Stroud today. Stroud was great today.
Very good.
Yep, yep. Houston looks excellent.
Houston, that game, we have to have a nickname for that when the game is over before you even find the... You have your floor box situated.
17-0, and you didn't even know the game started.
I have to add another game. I don't think you play... I would think... If you get the two seed, let's say you don't get the one seed. If you win the division and get the two seed, yes, you're home for Houston, right? I would think.
Unless they can leapfrog somebody.
They play the Chargers in 17. Yeah. Or would you rather have this? Buffalo wins the division. You're a five and you go to Baltimore or Pittsburgh. Wouldn't you rather have that? And then I would play Denver in round two. Whatever, you're better than, just get out of that one, right? You don't want to play Houston, do you?
I want to win the division. I don't want a scenario where they have to go to Buffalo. Winning in Buffalo twice in the same year seems inconceivable to me. The best case scenario for them is the Chargers end up the seventh seed instead of Houston.
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Chapter 5: What insights are shared about the Saints' quarterback situation?
Like way more entertaining than it should have been. Yeah. And I think Tyler Shuck might just be good. I don't even know if he's serviceable. I think he actually might be good. If I'm a Saints fan, I don't want a quarterback next year. I'm good. Let's roll with this dude. Get him more blocking.
If you look at the top six, I think only the Raiders are going to take a quarterback. I mean, there's going to be shuffling around, and the teams are going to trade. But I'm with you with Chuck. I was watching with my kids at halftime of the late afternoon games. I'm like, let's take an underdog. Let's pick an underdog.
Chapter 6: How do the hosts analyze the upcoming Week 16 matchups?
Who do you want? And we all took the Saints, and that was exciting as hell. I don't know. I don't know. Watch the Panthers just beat. We haven't even talked about it at Tampa, how they've blown this. Pretty damn good.
They're still in the lead somehow, even though they chipped on Thursday night. They're the favorite. The Panthers kind of got dominated, I felt like, in the last hour of the game. Yeah. Saints were moving it. Panthers couldn't run the ball at all. Saints. So I lost.
Chapter 7: What are the implications of the upcoming games for playoff positions?
I had an all-line Saints minus three and a half future. That was like two to one. But you know what? Hats off to them. Under 3.5? Under 3.5. It was plus 200. Gotcha. Sick about that one. But I got to give the Saints credit. I thought they played a good game. Good comeback. A lot of it was great down the stretch. And now...
We have two depressingly ugly Panthers-Bucks games in the next three weeks to decide who will be the host of the Shakey's game. Because I don't see any other way at this point.
Oh, you're right. Yeah, they have to.
In fact, I have a line. Can Fando put this as a line? Tampa, Seattle, minus 135 over Jacksonville and the Chargers. Ooh. I got to think. Jacksonville Chargers feels very Shakey's-ish. What is that? You're thinking that's a 3-6? 4-5? Yeah, 3-6.
No, that's not a 4-5.
3-6.
Yeah. So, yeah, it's funny how Baltimore-Pittsburgh won't be a Shakey's game even though they're junk, right?
Although if Pittsburgh's the fourth seed, it could be the Shakey's game. But the problem is they won't put Buffalo or New England in the Shakey's game.
They'll get Aaron Rodgers in a prime spot if he's around there.
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Chapter 8: What parenting advice is shared in the Parent Corner segment?
Quick on Texans cards, the Stroud starting to put it together in a real way is the December wildcard for me.
Yeah.
Because if he can create plays... and put up enough offense to match their defense, then they're just a live underdog in every playoff game. Jaguars-Jets. Trevor Lawrence is here to rope us in. Five touchdowns today. Yeah. I'm interested to see if the fans get chirpy this week because...
this podcast along with every other podcast every other writer some serious questions about Trevor Lawrence which apparently now have been answered because he lit up the Jets right he's playing your dumb team next week so he'll look good in that game too so I feel like there's going to be some real Trevor Lawrence momentum he's not playing my team I thought he plays your team.
No, the Chargers play the Cowboys.
Who do the Jaguars play?
Jacksonville plays... Oh, they're at Denver next week. Okay, so now we'll know.
I just want to remind people, before they start throwing the Trevor Lawrence stuff at us, heading in today, he was 30th in EPA for quarterbacks between number 29, Michael Penix, who's no longer playing football, and number 31, Carson Wentz, who's also no longer playing football. So congrats on the Jets game. I'm still not buying Trevor Lawrence stock. I need to see a little more if that's cool.
I need to sell you a little more too, but I have to physically be able to see it more because this was on such a small TV. I call this game a squinter because I had a squint to my eyes to make it out on the very small four box I have in the TV. It's the squint box. It's a squint box. It's a squint box, yeah. I was like, what is that?
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