The Bill Simmons Podcast
The Frisky Cowboys, the Next Stafford, KC’s Houdini Act, an NFL Thanks Session, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
24 Nov 2025
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new rewatch of what's coming for you on Monday night. We're gambling again. We're doing two for the money. 20-year anniversary, Matthew McConaughey, Al Pacino, Rene Russo. It's just a guilty pleasure. It was on a lot. CR and I kept circling it. We kept circling it.
Finally, we decided to do it in person with Cousin Sal, who's coming up on this podcast later. So... That is coming at some point tomorrow night. I'm not sure about the schedule this week for this podcast. I know we're doing Tuesday. I know I'm popping on Zach Lowe's podcast tomorrow to talk about Chris Paul. And then after that, I just don't know. I don't know when we're doing NFL picks.
Might only have two podcasts this week. If I do... any sort of thanksgiving ringer 107 whatever and it's not on a podcast it will be on my youtube channel the bill simmons youtube channel so uh you know where it is i put up a actually a hot take today from the sauna about will campbell um you can check that out check out my instagram as well so uh Yeah, schedule a little up in the air.
You know what's not up in the air? The Patriots have won, I think, eight straight games? Nine? Can't even keep track. They're 10-2, the first 10-win team. But some bad stuff happened today. Some good stuff happened for Cousin Sal's team. We're going to talk about all of it next. We went live on YouTube. We're going to take a break.
Chapter 2: What are the key highlights from the NFL Thanksgiving games?
Pearl Jam and then Cousin Sal. This episode of the Bill Simmons podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like needing the protection of an offensive guard on the football field, but getting an elementary school crossing guard. Sure, they're both guards, but you can only trust one to keep your quarterback safe when the game is on the line.
So don't settle for just any insurance. When you can have State Farm, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Well, happy 500th broadcast, Chris Collinsworth. We gave you a terrible game. We gave you an awful Bucks-Rams game. And Cousin Salah's here. We're on a Sunday night slump that dates back to Packers 40, Dallas 40.
Yeah. You guys must just hate me to give me that. I mean, I just, what, what, what do I get? I get seven points out of the box and a shrimp cocktail. What, what kind of cheap, what a free entry into Matthew Barry's guillotine league. What a bunch of cheapskates this is. Give me a break.
Thanks for the tear in the punch bowl, Mike. Green Bay 40-40 came three weeks after Buffalo 41, Baltimore 40. Two really good ones. Next week was Pat's Bills. That was okay. After that, Chiefs Lions, Chiefs 1x13, Niners 20, Atlanta 10. Green Bay, Pittsburgh 35-25. Seattle kills Washington. Chargers kill the Steelers. Eagles, Lions, Stinkfest, and then this week. What's going on?
Monday night, not a whole lot better. Thursday night, not great either. I'm not sure. I would say Thursday night's been the best night out of the three. Has it? We've had some good ones. Like, Bill's Texans was pretty good on Thursday.
That's true. Yeah, that's true. That came back to be a good game.
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Chapter 3: How do the Cowboys and Rams compare this season?
A lot of these games are just mostly unwatchable and then close at the end.
You know what I mean? Well, we had a really nice early game lightning round window near the end. We have Thanksgiving, three games on Thursday. We have Black Friday noon, which is somehow an awesome game. Bears-Eagles. Then we got Sunday. Then we got Monday. So we got a lot of football coming up. Rams.
It feels like Stafford is now a prohibitive MVP frontrunner, but that's not what I want to start with.
Of course it's not. Of course it isn't. Yeah. Why would you?
Well, we're going to talk about your team.
All right. Oh, I see. Okay, that's good.
Let's start with your team. Rarely do we get to come on a Sunday night pod. With some cowboys. The five, five and one resurgent cowboys.
What's happening, Sal? I don't know. I really didn't want to fall for this. I didn't because I know how it is. The media, you're, you're a member of the media, right? They want to get you excited. Yeah. You're in the, they want to get you excited about the cowboys so they could tear them down. Like I get it. I get the whole rollercoaster ride you're going. So it's like feeding a,
like a child peas, but here comes the airplane, but he tricked me into eating peas and I wasn't buying it. And then when they were down 21, nothing, I'm like F you to anybody who said they can win this game because we beat the Raiders. We're going to get excited about that. No. Yeah. And then Simmons, we really stepped up defensively. I did. 107 yards on the last eight drives. Okay.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of the latest NFL coaching changes?
Like forget Herschel Walker. This I think is the best trade of all time for a third rounder.
Franchise tag the man. Do it now. Isn't he in the top five in receiving yards now or even maybe even higher?
Yeah. Top five. Yeah, for sure. I think, uh, where is he now? He was nine for one 46 today. He has more receiving yards than the whole Steelers team combined. So yeah, looking good. Fine. Good, good move. Maybe by accident, Jerry, but good job by you.
I don't know. Got to give Jerry, maybe Jerry this whole time. Maybe he just knew, maybe he knew it was happening. Yeah.
Plus five 20 to make the playoffs. And I'm not by until they beat the chiefs next week. I know I'm going to be vomiting up a corn pudding next week when I could have just been rolling my eyes at the TV screen after we lose by 17, but whatever, let's see it happen. Let's do.
Yeah. Pickens is the only, there's only 2000 yard receivers right now. And he's one of them. JSN is the other one. Yeah. Uh, I'll say this about your team. I watched them when I flew to New York on Monday, I watched every play of that game, which was one of the reasons I bet on the Browns today. So I just thought the Raiders were so bad on Monday night.
It also made me think the Eagles were going to win today, but your team, two guys who can always get open. You can run the ball a hell of a lot better than you did last year. And then Dak, who was a little up and down the last few weeks, uh, When he's on and you can see it right away and he's threading those long ones, so you have that.
And then the defensive line is definitely a little different. Like you can stop the run. I mean, granted, they traded a lot for Quinn and Williams, but it looks a little more like a real defense. The part I don't understand is why guys aren't wide open all over in the secondary. That's one. And then the other, the Eagles, like where was Barkley today?
You must have been doing backflips every time they didn't give Barkley the ball on anything.
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Chapter 5: What factors contribute to a team's success in the NFL?
You start believing you're going to win them.
It worked out. They got the good coach. They got the quarterback who's not screwing up. And they're right there. Their division is wacky this year, right? We thought for sure this was the best division in football. And now week to week, we don't know which team is going to survive January.
It was the best division in football. The problem is they have one stinky team in the division. And it's a stinky team because they just completely missed on this quarterback. Oh, my God. McCarthy was 12 for 19 for 87 today, two picks, five sacks.
And Lombardi always used to talk about this with when you stay with the QB who clearly you can't win with and you move into that, you could lose the locker room territory. Mm-hmm. where all these guys, football is this violent, brutal sport.
You're just week after week, you're just killing yourself to get out there and you're lifting and you're just taking these hits and playing with concussions and injuries, all these different things. And when you have a shit quarterback, It's not like in basketball where it's like, oh, our point guard's kind of a shithead. Like, all right, fine. I'll just shoot some threes.
Like in football, you can't. And he's so bad. I actually, I didn't bet the Vikes this week, but I did put small money line parlay on them. I was just curious. Like, oh, what happens if he is good? This was the week where it's like, this guy, I don't see it. It's probably never happening.
Can I tell you, speaking of shitheads, what I did? Like what? You know, I can't really make fun of these coaches for making dumb decisions. When I do the same as a better, as an avid gambler, I'm making the same dumb moves every week. Why take the Raiders minus three and a half against anyone? I don't care if they're playing Austin B, right? Short week, no less. You know, why take the Saints?
Oh, everyone's got the Saints. You like Chuck? Okay. Everybody was on the Saints. They lost. I had Minnesota on a three-team teaser plus 16 and a half. They lost 23-7. I'm the biggest idiot in the NFL.
10 first downs. He's completely murdered Justin Jefferson's fantasy season and maybe his life as a fantasy guy.
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Chapter 6: How do injuries affect team performance and betting lines?
That's brutal. I sent that locker room clip of him after week one. Yeah. This guy will follow him. It's like, uh-oh. A quarterback who I don't know what's going on with is Zombie Lamar Jackson. Yeah. He just, it looks like he's been replaced. It was like that story of the lady who's, who claims she saw people on the airplane. Remember that story? Right, right, right. Yeah.
She's like, they're there. And everyone thought she was nuts. And then she gave an interview three weeks later and she looked different.
Yeah.
People thought she'd been replaced. I'm in the Lamar might've been replaced. Doesn't even, it might be Tavares Jackson. Like one of those type of backups from over the years. I don't know who it is.
There are a lot of popular names. Lamar Jackson. Yeah. I don't know, man. This is one of those games where I scratch my head. And I was saying on another text chain, maybe these teams we're hoping are good just won't get there, right? There's a chance, right? The Ravens and the Chiefs and the Bills are just not two out of three.
I've been saying that with the Ravens.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of coaching decisions in the NFL?
I don't think they have it. I really don't. I don't think they're good enough this year. Because I have some Pats fans in my life who are like, oh, this is going to suck if we get two seed and the Ravens get the seven. I'm like, what good game have the Ravens played this year? Like at some point it's, it's Thanksgiving. We haven't seen them play good yet.
They are not good when he can't scramble. And when he can't do his thing, they're not good. They're receivers are idiots. Zay flowers getting knocked over by passes that are hitting them in the chest. And yet they're like, I'm looking now they're minus four 25 to win the division. This team was my, they were one in five and they're going to have this division wrapped up before Thanksgiving.
You kidding me?
One five straight.
Yeah.
Well, one of the teams they're going against is the Jaguars, who beat Arizona in OT. We talked about it earlier. Lawrence had the full DeLome in play. He had four turnovers, including a fumble TD. I could remember if a DeLome was... The full DeLome was... There has to be a defensive TD, and it has to be five turnovers total. Yeah.
And it could be four picks and a fumble or five picks, some combination, but it has to get to five. Right. So he had the full DeLome was in play for... A good hour, but he got out of it with only four turnovers. The announcers, at one point, he threw another terrible pick. And they cut to Liam Cohen and he was like doing this. Like he thought there was a flag, but it wasn't.
He was like, what the fuck did he just see in that pick?
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Chapter 8: What insights does Parent Corner offer about youth sports?
So they come back, they get the ball again, and he throws a completion. And the announcers are praising Lawrence. It's like, now that's a pro right there. You got to shake off that last pass. Trevor Lawrence shook it off. And I'm thinking like, who has more experience shaking off a terrible pass than Trevor Lawrence? That guy's got 10 years of experience of shaking it off.
The pass after his interception, he hits 65% on that one pass. But then it goes back. He'll throw another one. But yeah.
Of course he shook it off. He throws interceptions all the time. Shake your hair off.
I think he... if we put aside the first-year quarterbacks or the quarterbacks who are completely washed, I think he makes the worst decisions out of any quarterback, right? If you're not in that new quarterback or just done quarterback bin, that's the nicest thing I could say about him, honestly.
I had him in Ringer 107. I had the Jags, plus I bet on them. Yeah. And it's just a rollercoaster ride for three hours. Yeah. Every time he goes back to pass, you don't feel like anything good's going to happen.
Right.
So I was thinking about him versus Jameis. Lawrence's career record now is 29 and 42. Jameis is 36 and 52. Lawrence has one playoff win. Jameis has zero playoff starts. Lawrence has 83 TDs, 54 picks. Jameis has 154 TDs, 112 picks. And Lawrence has 6.7 yards per attempt.
Jameis was in tougher divisions, I think, right? Wouldn't you say? He was in that AFC North for a while. I guess the Saints.
Jameis' career was longer. I think he was more entertaining. But they're basically the same QB, is my point.
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