The Bill Simmons Podcast
The Pats Grow Up, Nobody Believes in the Jags, the Bears are a Sports Movie, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
22 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where we are still chugging along, even though the holidays are coming up. I even have new rewatchables coming for you on Monday. And we did a big movie. We did a big movie from the 2020s. That would be the hint. I'm not going to tell you what movie it is because you've seen it.
um so that is coming on monday if you missed it last week we did the sure thing on wednesday and we did uh high fidelity on monday so go check those out this is the last movie we're doing this year and then we have a special episode for the last rewatchables of the year so you can check that out you can check out all the movies we did uh in 2025 and then uh
Yeah, video still available on Spotify as a video podcast, much like the Bill Simmons podcast, or you can get it wherever you get your favorite way to listen to a podcast, which is hopefully on Spotify because it's a great place for podcasts. Coming up, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk about a very exciting Sunday night in the Simmons house, the New England Patriots coming back in Baltimore.
and winning and improving their record to 12 and three. And it was an unexpected delight. We're gonna break it all down. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna bring in Pearl Jam and then Cousin Sal. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm.
It's like expecting a linebacker on the football field, but getting a line cook. Sure, they both can handle the pressure when it starts heating up, but only one is stopping a touchdown. You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team, so don't settle for just any insurance when it comes to getting help you need. State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Hey, Sal.
What's up? We're the Patriots. We made the playoffs. We did it.
Congratulations.
I don't know where to start, except for an hour ago, I felt like this was a loss. We were going to have to go back to the drawing board with some of the injury stuff.
25 minutes ago.
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Chapter 2: What were the key moments from the Patriots vs. Ravens game?
And he was just over on the bench with an overcoat on. And then after the Pat scored to go up four, he was still on the bench.
He didn't get dinged up, did he? They never said anything, right? I don't know.
There wasn't a ton of injury reporting going today. Like, Henderson was just gone. We didn't know for an hour what happened to him. Then, like, yeah, he's gone. He's out with a head injury. Okay, thanks. Right. But, yeah, we didn't have a lot of reporting on this stuff.
That's a big win. That's a big win. I mean, you did text us. You're like, we got too many guys out. I was like, who's out? Bronco?
Brady? DeBondo was getting a little feisty on the Sunday ringer pregame thread about how we were the paper mache Pats. I was like, hey, we'll be there in January. We're going to get our guys back. We're missing all the offensive tackles, the run stopper, and then the home run hitter, Henderson. And it didn't matter because Drake May just said, fuck it. And Diggs was the other one.
Diggs hasn't done that in a month. Maybe more than a month.
You thought he would do it against Buffalo or didn't, but yeah. No, I see. Like it's, you know, the football gods say, Hey, these guys got beat up by a real quarterback last week. We got to go back to normal where they just beat up on, on shitty QBs. So, uh, yeah, my heart bleeds for you. You got it. You got, uh, Ty Hundley again.
Nice job. I know, but from what Lamar has been the last five weeks, was it like a massive drop-off? Did you feel like, oh, no. I mean, I thought Huntley was pretty good. He was good. Except for the last drive. He was okay. He moved the ball. I mean, it wasn't his fault. Say Flowers got stripped on an awesome play by Chason.
Yeah. No, it was a good win. That's the kind of win you want when it's cold and you're on the road and all that stuff. And now, who knows? Maybe he won't even be on the road.
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Chapter 3: How did Drake May's performance impact the game?
They usually call the big tight ends on that. And that's it. So May ends up 31 for 44 for 380 with two touchdowns. And I didn't look at the FanDuel MVP odds, but what do you think? Did that move him up or is it Stafford's to lose at this point?
Yeah, it moved him up because Stafford was minus 350. He's at minus 185 now and maybe is plus 160. Josh Allen is 25-1 now.
Yeah, he wasn't good today. I think Allen was the right bet for a couple weeks there, but he just didn't do enough in the Cleveland game. I think that ship has probably set on him. Yeah, May is plus 175 right now.
It's moving as we're talking. It's very exciting.
Well, it's interesting because I have all my notes from when I thought they were going to lose. And one of the first notes was Drake May, really good, not quite good enough because he had the pick in the first half and he had the fumble. And this is something we've talked about a bunch of times on this pod about like everything is there.
And the last thing is to get rid of those two dumb plays a game and maybe knock them down to one or zero, but the best quarterbacks that they're at one or zero with the dumb plays. And he had the bad pick and he had the, the fumble and traffic, which he's had a couple of times in his career. And also because the fake punt was terrible. I don't know why they did that. What was that? Fourth and 10.
Yeah.
And it's like, if the, if the one receiver is not going to be open over the middle, the place is not going to work. We'd have to eat it with our third string. Safety is going to have to try to take on nine guys. So I don't know what happened on that. Um, let's read your notes as if they lost.
I like, let's, you still have those notes.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of the Patriots' playoff chances?
But that was a good performance. I don't like to compliment Rodgers, but it was like 9-10 down the stretch when it mattered.
The Lions had 11 running back runs for 16 yards. Jesus. The Lions are basically done. Yeah. Dan Campbell over under... 2027 for him being on the Sunday Fox pregame show.
Oh, wow.
Did you go over? I'd go over. October? No, it would have to be before the season. Oh, before the season. The Terry seat will be open at some point.
I'll go slightly over.
Slightly over. So in the 2020s, it happens.
Yeah. And it was a big Ben Johnson weekend. Like, I know they're pulling rabbits out of their asses and how they're getting that done in Chicago, but Detroit definitely missed them again today. We could show them five, six games where this was the case.
Well, the bigger thing, they ran the ball down their throats. Rodgers had a good interview after the game, but he was like, we ran for over 200 yards. They ran for 230. They passed for 251. I mean, the Lions are missing half their team at this point, which is another issue with these 18-game seasons. But yeah, no Lions. We talked about it.
couple of weeks ago about how fast a window closes the lines. They've even really had a window. It was like slightly a jar for a year. And now, you know, they're not even going to make the playoffs. It doesn't look like under 10 and a half, right?
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of the Anthony Joshua vs. Jake Paul fight?
Like, it's like a verb where they're just like, We're going to have to Theismann that replay. And we're just going to keep it going. But it needs to have some sort of term. So we just know.
It's interesting because we're going to date ourselves here. But when Blackjack Mulligan would put the claw on somebody, they would put the big X. Yeah. So maybe we're going to take a Mulligan, even though that's a golf term. That X used to make me so mad. I know. It used to scare me. What's going on? They put the X on. Is there a murder? What happened?
Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the NFL teams' performances this season?
Spurning blood. Come back. There's yellow tape everywhere.
Yeah, for anyone listening, go on YouTube and search for Blackjack Mulligan censored claw. Yeah, that's it. And it'll just be all these clips of him. And they're like, oh, no, oh, no.
And it'll just be like a giant X. Yeah, the graphics were not great back then. It was basically the family feud X. They just borrowed that.
Bengals to offense, Bengals rolled. We don't need to talk about that. It didn't matter, except for fantasy. Falcons, Cardinals, I think every single Cardinal is hurt now. Yeah, right. I think that by the end of the game, I think everyone who started this season is done.
Chapter 7: What insights do they share about upcoming NFL games?
And then Saints, Jets, Brady Cook, probably not the answer. with my hands for that.
Any other notes for today? How'd you do in the gambling? I'm trying to think. I did all right with the gambling. We can't hit our 107 picks. By the way, you fired House from the 107? Didn't fire him. Are you sure?
I took a week off.
He's very upset.
He wasn't upset at all. He couldn't have been happier not to do the picks.
You can't fire people before Christmas. You know better than that.
Didn't fire him. It's not like I did better without him.
I just have the bad juju. No, I'll say my dumb team, 4,000-yard passer, two 1,000-yard receivers, 1,000-yard rusher, and officially out of the playoffs with three games to go, or two games to go.
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Chapter 8: What parenting challenges do they discuss in Parent Corner?
Oh, your dumb team.
That's it. Nice going, Jer. Good work, Shoddy. No showing again today. Not that it matters at all.
That was one that I threw into, uh, that was a late, no, that chargers. I did the, uh, okay. By Sunday I was like, Oh, Quinn Williams, not playing. Like, why are you, why are the Cowboys going to win? This was one of those.
Right.
But, uh, I don't do the chargers. What's their, what are their best wins this year? Just out of curiosity. Um, well, Denver, I guess the Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Right. And they beat the Chiefs twice, which I don't even think counts as the best win anymore. They're 11-4. We've probably talked about them for three minutes total this entire season.
And I think they're good, but they're not like... I'd be surprised if four other teams weren't better than them in the AFC playoffs. At least, right? They could make a run.
The physical. Now Hampton's back. They can run the ball. They have a double attack. Johnson got going today. Herbert seems, you know, he's up and down. Extends it.
See a funny jet stat. What is it? You've seen this. 15 straight games without an interception.
Without them getting an interception.
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