The Smashmouth Giants, Bumbling Chargers, Stumbling Packers, Week 1 Overreactions, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

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The Bill Simmons Podcast 1h 42m 3 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 1 day ago
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What do Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal talk about in the opening and the Week 1 NFL recap?

Bill Simmons 0:06
The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel. The NFL is here and it's the most rewarding season ever on FanDuel with the all-time FanDuel Rewards Club. Every eligible bet can earn you points. Win or lose, you still get points. The more points, the bigger the rewards you can unlock. Head to FanDuel.com slash BS to start earning with Fanduel Rewards Club. Twenty one plus select states or eighteen plus DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Game problem called one eight hundred Gambar, call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit ccpg dot org slash chat in Connecticut.
Bill Simmons 1:03
This stream is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog, the official pet food of the NFL. The Bill Simmons podcast. Lives. On Netflix. I am here with cousin Sal. Wanted to mention we have a new rewatchables coming tomorrow night. We did Rambo First Blood Part Two. Me and Kyle Brandt. That's happening tomorrow. You can watch some people get shot. Listen, we just watched Giants Cowboys Sunday night. Cowboys minus three point favorites in Giants Stadium. New look Giants. A lot of people loving the Cowboys. A lot of theories that Jerry Jones has been quiet this year because he has a really good team finally. Uh Explosive offense. Lot of high hopes. And unfortunately for them, you jinxed them on Wednesday with all of your Drake May remarks.
Bill Simmons 1:55
Oh no, I heard of it. Oh no I did. You did. I didn't. You did. D you you you were mean about Drake May. You're mean last Superbowl. Nothing to do with this. You were mean this week. You got a little on your high horse and now it all backfired with Cam Scattaboot just scattered all over your body.
Cousin Sal 2:11
Oh crap. First of all, I didn't uh I was nice about Drake May when they lost the game. You were never nice. I tweeted. I tweeted his names and capital letters and exclamation points. Like what what more how much nicer?
Bill Simmons 2:23
could I beat? I would have felt bad for you tonight, but after you said Drake maybe three hundred and thirty times over the course of the week. It's more than that. How about maybe the Cowboys could have stopped the same play over and over again? All right, put 'em up. Put 'em up now. Oh oh wait, are you gonna run another swing pass to Singletary? You haven't run that for two plays, you motherfuckers. You can't get over the side and stop somebody. So
Unknown 2:45
now
Bill Simmons 2:45
He had the ball once for two-thirds of the second half. And this defense, this vaunted defense that was supposed to be uh, you know, ready to roll and new defensive coordinator, all these new changes. And you got steamrolled by a bunch of oversized white guys. Let's be honest. They all looked like I didn't even know who was who. It's like number forty five, forty-four, forty-one. Guys are moving around and you just got you got bulldozed.
Cousin Sal 3:11
Okay. I didn't know we were going to inject racism into the podcast. I'm looking at the rundown now. It's not on there anyway. We're going to go to the most uh impactures we regret. Cam
Bill Simmons 3:20
Scadabow. It's like he he's no, he's going to be running the ball here. There's three minutes left. Oh no, he's going to run for thirteen yards anyway.
Cousin Sal 3:26
I can't argue.
Bill Simmons 3:27
Well, I can't argue with any of it.
Cousin Sal 3:28
The only thing I I I see I didn't jinx it because I refused to give those those nicknames that readers, um readers, uh followers, watchers, viewers, listeners, um wrote in and gave, you know, Jackson Dart. And I was like, No, no, no, I'm not falling for that. I'm not doing that because I'm gonna come up with a medieval canival upset. Right. And there was some other ones too. We kept but uh you know, look first of all, this is unfair that I couldn't do the Wednesday night show with you. Why can't why can't I do uh Tonight's podcast with You got to
Bill Simmons 3:55
do the Super Bowl after me. After we lost by thirty points, you got to come on. Uh and take a drink, maybe victory lap. You weren't in
Cousin Sal 4:02
the Super Bowl. Come on.
Bill Simmons 4:03
We were in the Super Bowl. I don't know. It's New York football giants, twenty-nine first downs, six incompletions. That was it? Six? I don't remember six. Six incompletions. Twenty nine first downs. How many third down conversions? I only nine.

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