The Brain Candy Podcast

711: Optimism, Alien Cow Deaths, & Death of the Limo

11 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We hear what Sarah learned from the grieving process after losing her dog. Susie shares why it's so hard to teach someone not to procrastinate. We dis...

710: No Frills Motel, Jewish Weird Al, & All the Feels

08 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah regrets signing up for a marathon and Susie is saying I told you so, but she's also suggesting Sarah hop in a car and chea...

709: Marathon Cheater, Paralympics Controversy, & Cue Card Hero

04 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Americans! Hope you enjoy some tacos and margs. Sarah tells a story about how Eli denied her alcohol, and Susie truly feels bad f...

708: Zombie Response Team, Time Travel, & World's Oldest Joke

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah describes her dog Bo's final day, and why he held on til the very end. We discuss a new show that highlights extreme personalities and fringe li...

707: The Man Show, Boston Bombing, & Waco Cult

27 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We get a follow-up on Sarah's habit of eating muffin cups and it somehow got even more insane than it already was, but the good news is that there are...

706: Personality Tests, Martha Stewart, and Healthy Ice Cream

24 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is in a war with her neighbor, and Susie is strategizing ways to torment him. Sarah thinks they're in a competition for who will open their blin...

705: Therapy Speak, Life Hacks, & Bigfoot's Boobs

20 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie goes on an epic rant about people who try to mental health their way out of accountability and the way they use therapy speak to avoid responsib...

704: Submarine Sandwiches, Menu Hacks, & Hiding Turtles

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is fueling up for this episode with a party size platter of hoagies, and it is glorious. This isn't the only fun food-related incident today, th...

703: Pretty Baby, Manslaughter Nightmare, & Boys in Blue

13 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah found out she is a "true summer," so she can't wear the look of Gwyneth Paltrow at her trial, so now she's getting rid of her clothes and embrac...

702: Bigfoot Sighting, Sarah's Accident, & Glow-in-the Dark Animals

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss Sarah's religious dabbling, and how she's been pretty much every religion on Earth for a minute including once when she had to wear a wig f...

701: Racism Clickbait, Catholic Spies, & Bert and Ernie's Lifestyle

06 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is going to meet one of her comedy heroes, and she needs Sarah's advice on what to wear, what to say, and how to become best friends with him. W...

700: Models, Mammoth Meatballs, & Michelangelo's Manhood

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

700 episodes! It's pretty remarkable that we're still talking and, more importantly, you're still listening! Thank you!!! Sarah was very eager to shar...

699: Seaweed Blob, Good Old Days, & Broken Sun

30 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Anyone know what happens at cemetaries in New Orleans, because we've heard some things and we're confused and intrigued. Sarah talks about how a piece...

698: Doggone Sad, Thumbs Down, & Digging Holes

27 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're in the comfort business today because we're losing one of our own. Bo Louise Rice is in her final days and her person is very sad! We know you a...

697: Big Bear Buns, Rude Red Carpet & The Disappearing Jet

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's always a good time to have an apology tour (it's kind of our specialty), so we kicked off the episode setting the record straight about our love ...

696: Shoeless Joe, Charlie Chaplin, & Sneaky Sneakers

16 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we learn why Susie is feeling nostalgic about the Challenge and Sarah never got full closure after her season. We hear about an author who Susie...

695: Astronaut Shade, Size Matters, & Clown Fear

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We kick the show off by hearing why Sarah got KICKED OUT of a McDonald's. Think of how bad you'd have to be to be kicked out of a McDonald's. We hear ...

694: Best Friends, Hiccup Cure, & Social Media Lies

09 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie kicks off the show sharing a story about a friend of hers who is using an app to meet new friends, and how hard it is to make friends as an adul...

693: Sultry Scenes, Radioactivity, and Perfect Pressure

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah shares her birthday tales, which included drunk snowboarding, fireball shots, and a ski lift near miss. It did not disappoint. She also describe...

692: Big Ball Parenting, Dumped Doll, & Woke Witches

02 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're kicking March off (or as we like to call it, Fool's Spring) with a story about testicles--yay!!! It turns out men with bigger balls are crappier...

691: Stolen Youth, Big Member, & Dinner at the Zoo

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's episode is a doozy! Sarah is feeling a little non-commital about making plans, but we're determined to start thinking ahead and making plans t...

690: Gunther's Millions, Unmasking Autism, & Mary Queen of Scots

23 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We have a rebuttal to a keyboard warrior who took issue with our commentary on Hitler's medical history, which is a sentence we never thought we'd wri...

689: Elderly Sarah, We Need to Talk About Ezra, & Zoo Mania

20 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss how our problems suddenly seem bearable when we consider switching them for someone else's. Sarah describes her Valentine's Day surprise fr...

688: Baywatch Body, Breastfeeding Debate, & Disability Fetish

16 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie breaks down the Pam Anderson documentary (produced and directed by our buddy, Ryan White) and the ways she represents the dynamic between men an...

687: Sarah's Marriage Proposal, Divorce Debate, & Buried Alive

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate--and we hope you do because love is the most important thing in the world! And to get in the spirit, Susie ...

686: Mind over Murder, LEGO Pain, & Prison Rules

09 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hear about a docuseries called Mind Over Murder where six people were wrongfully accused of the rape and murder of a woman after five of them confesse...

685: Marie Kondo Mess, Men Problems, & Robot Apocalypse

06 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Susie plans on becoming a chart-topping singer. Sarah and Susie are planning their ski adventure and Susie really hopes it doesn't involve an...

684: Psychic Friends, Amber Alerts, & Tunnel of Hate

02 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie informs us about some big changes in the bowling world that bowling alley owners are thrilled about, but professional bowlers think is a real gu...

683: Mutant Plants, Metal Coke, & Manly Cars

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out about a type of plant that knows how to count (???), but its plant cousin is a dummy that doesn't know how (so Susie thinks it's goi...

682: Cougars, Conmen, & the Curse of Chippendales

26 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie can't quit thinking about the Bernie Madoff docuseries and his $65 BILLION (with a B!) scam that he ran for 40 years. She thinks we can learn a ...

681: Whale Poop, Superhero Accessories, & Gendered Living

23 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah brought a whole lot of poo content, and we are learning so much! We hear why whale poo is basically saving the world, and whales aren't getting ...

680: Muslim Art, Ric Flair's Wild Life, & People Are Not OK

19 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We have to make a correction about the poop lottery story, and, boy, are we disappointed. We report the results of our poop survey (what's worse: the ...

679: Robot Lawyers, Sneaky Sneakers, & Safe Danger

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Sarah has betrayed the Curly Girl community and she has "hair dysmorphia." We learn about the Don't Pick Up the Phone documentary where a man...

678: Death, Fever Dreams, & Craziness

12 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It starts out doom and gloomy as we discuss injuries of football players and other public figures. We suggest football should become gentler and invol...

677: Gendered Boomers, Celine Dion Conspiracy, & Toilet Talk

09 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss how Susie has some Boomer opinions about certain progressive opinions of the language police. We discuss the Rolling Stone list of th...

676: Lottery Revenge, Vanity Plates, and Personality Tests

05 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We check in with each other about 2023 goals and resolutions, and it turns out, Susie and Sarah's goals are in complete conflict with each other. So t...

675: Global Dreams, Metal Bats, & Streaking

02 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Susie wants to know why streaking was popular for like two minutes, and we would like to bring it back in 2023. Let's do this, people! Sarah explains ...

674: Strange Names, Liver King, and The Year of Rest

19 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is psyched out of her mind about the Strange Names documentary that features people with unusual, disturbing, or celebrity names. It's so good! ...

673: Nose Armies, B-Hole Evolution, & Produce Production

15 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Breaking news in the science world with an explanation for why we get sick in the winter, and it's not what we thought all along. We've been living a ...

672: New Therapy, Killer Nurses, & Casey Anthony

12 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about a documentary exploring a different approach to therapy, and Susie wants to know why therapists insist on distancing themselves fr...

671: Mandatory Fun, Monks on Meth, & Popcorn Puke

08 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah salutes a good Samaritan Amazon worker and then she confesses to her secret love of Amazon (despite her previous boycott of the company). We lea...

670: Pepsi Lawsuit, Compulsive Liars, & the Quiet Zone

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is singing the praises of the Pepsi, Where's My Jet documentary about a boy who got enough Pepsi points to earn a jet, but Pepsi claimed they we...

669: Sneeze Injury, Leslie Jordan, & Hearing People Are the Worst

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie wants to know when Sarah realized she was uncensored, but we're pretty sure Susie is just as weird about oversharing. We discuss a woman who did...

668: Brain Buckets, Doppelgänger DNA, & Lucy Laughter

28 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie watched the Barney (as in the purple dinosaur) documentary and it was a shockingly sad story. We discuss the backlash towards the wholesome cont...

667: Chicken Binge, Miracle Mermaids, & Persuasion

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Susie's "powder room" is very funny and Sarah's is NSFW. We discuss the implosion of Twitter and the weird devotion of Elon Musk's "musketeer...

666: Satanic Panic, Falwell's Fall, & Stuttering

17 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today is finally our demonic episode featuring the number of the beast 666! We are so excited to discuss the evils of the Satanic Panic. We learn wher...

665: Childlore, Toilet Destruction, & Penis Preoccupation

14 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're fresh off our reunion in Chicago, so we discuss our trip, the fun we had with our Brainiacs, and the comedy show in which Susie performed. Sarah...

664: Trapper Keeper, Reality Show Hell, & Candy Cigarettes

10 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie has a new enemy and we're all very excited about it. We are less excited about her husband's recent health scare, and Susie has some tips for yo...

663: Shrinking, Slapping, and Swearing

07 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We begin with a warning to candy manufacturers--we're on to you and your smaller fun size candy bars and treats. Who do you think you're fooling? This...

662: Boomers, Groomers, & Rumors

03 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is mad at one of her favorite authors, so she rants about his boomer views. We discuss a documentary about competitive dog groomers, and Susie e...

661: Pavlov Exposed, Gamer Identity, & Online Harassment

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Halloween, Brainiacs! Today we're getting spoooooky. We hear why the story of Pavlov, his dogs, and that damn bell are not at all accurate, and ...

660: Facts of Life, Lottery Losers, & Purse Mystery

27 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is worked up today! First she insisted on delving into some "old gossip" about Frank Sinatra that blew Sarah's mind. Susie's also mad at Spotify...

659: Old People Smell, Fish on Drugs, & Mosquito Bites

24 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah has the giggles when she tries to fall asleep, so today we hear why you think things are funnier at bedtime. We discuss "old people smell," and ...

658: Kitchen Nightmares, Sports Genes, & Authentic Food

20 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie kicks off the show with a condemnation of Kanye West and his anti-semitism. We hear about a documentary that talks about the sexual allegations ...

657: Cosmonaut Catfish, Robot Dolphins, & Signs of Death

17 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss how humans don't do well being alone, and how the Challenge and other reality shows can demonstrate what happens when we are alone wi...

656: Richard Simmons, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Repressed Memories

13 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear what went wrong with Susie's lip fillers and why she is a glutton for punishment because she'll do it again. We discuss "performing beau...

655: Hitchhiker's Guide to Asteroids and Serial Killers

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We cover a ton today! First we follow-up on our conversation about nudist beaches and consider our feelings on nudist communities. We think people sho...

654: Hip Hop, Hazing, & Hilarity

06 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Susie and Sarah are both "agents of chaos," but for different reasons. Susie watched a documentary about 2Pac and Biggie, and no...

653: Leaf Peeping, Whale Testicles, & Vagina Soul Patch

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What an episode! Sarah pulls out all the stops for this one. We find out what she's up to this SpOooOooOOky season and why it made us realize we are v...

652: Birthday Songs, Motherly Sins, & Nude Beaches

29 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie and Sarah have a disagreement about whether dinner should just be dinner or if it's better with a murder mystery, a concert, or blindfolds. We d...

651: Negative Reviews, Narcissist Conspiracy, & Cats Rule

26 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss the negative review we got from a male listener, and share why he wasn't entirely wrong, but we're still mad. Sarah is literally falling ap...

650: The Queen's Bees, Know Regrets, & Choose Adventure

22 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss the death of Queen Elizabeth II and the good and bad that she represented. We learn about the Telling the Bees tradition, why the Queen's d...

649: Slip-n-Slide, Resting Eagle Face, & Sleeping on the Job

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welp. Sarah strikes again. She can't resist the urge to show off in front of children, and now she's paying the price. And she thinks she's going to m...

648: House of Hammer, Reality TV Epiphany, & Memories

15 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie wants to know what it is about alcohol that feels like a panacea. We discuss the bonkers new docu-series, House of Hammer, which documents the g...

647: Biking Boys, Crepe Caper, & Artificial Art

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah had a terrible experience dealing with some goons at a bike shop and cried on a mountain as a result. She describes the incident and how it caus...

646: Brain Damage Jokes, Flat Earth Athletes, & Butt Ogling

08 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie watched an old clip on YouTube of an actor acting strangely, and realized later that he was a literal psychopath. We discuss Shaquille O'Neal's ...

645: Women in Space, Painful Orgasms, & Underwater Stonehenge

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is already getting excited for spOoOoOoOky season and she is going to do an epic, witchy photo shoot in the forest to celebrate. All this forest...

644: Pink Jeans, Catfishing, and Violent Art

01 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today begins with a hilarious story about pink jeans that neither one of us saw coming, but, boy, are we glad it did. And it made us wonder if you kee...

643: Parasitic Monks, Mountain WiFi, & The Sound of Hell

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is freaking great. There, we said it. Sarah received a letter scolding her from her neighborhood HOA and Susie thinks the HOA guy is a se...

642: Woodstock 99, Tommy Lee's Wiener, & Dead Parents

25 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's episode got real dark, but we still had fun (we know, we're weird). We discuss the aptly titled Trainwreck documentary about Woodstock 99, and...

641: Careful Driver, Dementia, & Volcanic Orgasms

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is hopped up on muscle relaxers for this episode, so that's exciting! Will she be extra jazzed up or super chilled out? We'll find out. Hear why...

640: Butthole Girl, Seat of the Soul, & Near Death Experiences

18 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie's kitchen is still being renovated and she had to perform a real life "floor is lava" scenario that was a real hoot (all those Challenge shenani...

639: Horse Girl, Pageantry, & Goldfish Soup

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear one souvenir Sarah brought home from camp that she did not want. We learn new insight into Sarah's childhood that Susie cannot believe, and it re...

638: Silence is Golden, Death Penalty Dress Code, & Pickleball

11 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie talks about her birthday and why she has been very emotional about the "passage of time." We discuss Paul Newman and his gorgeousness, but also ...

637: Comical Bodies, Fancy Feasts, & Candy Shortage

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is back from camp, everyone! And she didn't totally regret going, which is mind-boggling. In fact, I think she liked it?? We hear how it went an...

636: Challenge Therapy, Asylum Entertainment, & Sex Doll Overdose

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah is about to ship off to camp, and Susie is bitter about it even though it affects her in no way. We hear what really goes on at camp. We describ...

635: Skittles Scandal, Surviving Nuclear War, & Spotlight Effect

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah reveals why her true crime interest is waning despite her love of Law & Order. Susie wants a mosquito genocide. Some people believe Skittles...

634: Victoria's Secret, Male Trees, & Magical Thinking

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear what it was like for Sarah to rewatch Exes II with her boyfriend, and why it gave her a whole new perspective of the show. Susie discusses the Vi...

633: Backyard Burial, Gulliver's Hallucinations, & Tennis Scores

21 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Sarah feels bad about her broccoli theft, but Susie changed her mind about Sarah pulling the stems off. Sarah teaches us why scoring in tenni...

632: Girls Gone Wild, Dark Web, & Dead Tattoos

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah makes a very good point about parenting, and it might just seal the deal on whether she wants to have kids or not. We discuss the Britney Griner...

631: Pain Tunnels, Celibacy, & Dick Hieroglyphics

14 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Sarah loves climbing mountains when she is not on television only, and she describes how she gets through "pain tunnels" during phys...

630: Sandwich Architecture, Medieval Times, & Sex Negative

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear about a documentary Susie watched that made her wonder if she is ableist. The film also made Susie and Sarah have their third fight about the pro...

629: Croakies, Reverse Deja Vu, & Tetris Trauma

07 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear lots of bad news on today's show! But also laugh along with Susie who is apparently losing her mind. We somehow have a long conversation about Cr...

628: Men Are The Worst, Smile Influencer, & Love Curious

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear Susie talk about how she's had it up to HERE with men. She says that it's hard to find out for sure that you're seen as not a fully formed person...

627: Testosterone Babies, T-Rex High Fives, & Thought Worms

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is trying to convince Sarah to convert to Judaism. Sarah found out about a 2-year-old who is going through puberty because he had contact with h...

626: Sarah's Scars, Inherited Trauma, & Rap Pioneers

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah's talking about her superpower for seeing colors again, and how she really just loves being good at something. Anything! Susie wants to hear abo...

625: Mean Streets, Challenge Cleaners, & Superworms

23 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the Real World Brooklyn a little bit and why Sarah came across as a worldy, older gal who had seen some shit. Sarah reveals how she w...

624: Keep Sweet, Crop Circles, & Anthony Bourdain Scandal

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie is under the weather and explains why she couldn't hear out of one ear for four days. She describes the Keep Sweet documentary series and how th...

623: Human Meatball, Bees are Fish, & Pet Food

16 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie describes her trip to the OB-GYN, and why she had to discuss The Challenge during her Pap Smear. We hear about a study that claims men don't des...

622: Future Illusions, Political Brain, & Inspirational Music

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

[Note: episode includes discussion on suicide] Sarah went "out out" and got "drunk drunk," so we get to hear about that. She also found out she loves ...

621: When Your Ex Gets Married & Birth Order Mythology

09 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Sarah is processing lots of emotional baggage since her ex-husband recently got remarried. We discuss how new events can make you reassess th...

620: Whiney Comedians, Illegal Baby Names, & Girl Hysteria

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Susie is sick of "whiney baby" comedians who complain about cancel culture and make offensive jokes, and why Jo Koy is the antidote. We debat...

619: Pathological Joking, Murderer Cats, & Corndogging

02 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear about Sarah's date, and why she can't avoid getting hot and heavy. We learn about her allergy to "moving mites" and it's just as weird as it soun...

618: Our Father, Amnesia, & Disabled Dating

26 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie explains why she hates "in-speak" and a trend she noticed among evangelical Christians. We hear why Sarah is back on the market and is debating ...

617: Elderly Drugs, Mouse Hell, & The Beautiful Ones

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie wants Sarah to teach Bo the "down low, too slow" trick as a public service. She also cooked up a plan to let old people do hard drugs since the ...

616: Chicken People, Board Games, & Goodwill Jackpot

19 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah explains why breaking up in your thirties is a whole different experience. Sarah describes her "Little Mermaid" cocktail event. Susie talks abou...

615: Twin Brains, Lobotomies, & Pig Hearts

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah Rice is back--she got her name back and she thinks it changed everything. Susie claims technology might be limiting serial killers, but might be...

614: Cyclists, Sarah Rice Jr, & Bitcoin Garbage

12 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why it's almost impossible to find beauty products that are non-toxic and effective. Sarah predicts whether she'll live a long life. We hear abou...

613: LOL Translations, Blunders, & Flat Iron Romance

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why we think Spring needs a new marketing person. Spring doesn't get enough respect. Susie says people have accused them of using too many filter...

612: Captive Audience, Pity the Fool, & Dance Marathons

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Sarah risked her life to get a new desk. Susie describes a documentary about a kidnapping victim whose brother became a criminal, and it make...