The Brain Candy Podcast

611: Dating at Target, Bloodworms, & A-holes

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We hear about a man who took a woman to target as their first date, and we debate whether this even qualifies as a date. We get an update on a study f...

610: Low Bar Lifestyle, Abercrombie, & Online Lies

28 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We decided to live the low-bar lifetstyle from now on. Just keeping expectations in check. We follow-up on the cannibal tacos because we're not ok wit...

609: Cannibal Tacos, Oily Hair, & Consensual Hugs

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear the latest on Sarah's five month long move to Colorado and why Susie says Sarah has a good luck/bad luck dichotomy in her life. We learn about a ...

608: Are Girl Scouts OK?, Fake Disability, & Tony Hawk

21 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie talks about the Tony Hawk documentary, and how the very thing that gives his life meaning might be killing him. We learn a surprising fact about...

607: Gaslighting, Water Weapon, & Nature Nurture

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sarah almost had a white pants disaster, and somehow she sees it as a sign that her luck has changed since Vegas. Susie reveals why her Road Rules exp...

606: Golden Rule, Do I Sound Gay, & Witchy Crisis

14 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie talks about the hair catastrophe she had recently, and how she had to comfort the stylist. She now has "bald patches" and had to cut off 6 inche...

605: Buffet Scandal, Goblin Mode, & Ranch Dressing Romance

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're getting an update on Sarah's epic road trip from Denver to California and back again. Never a dull moment with her. She talks about her bad luck...

604: Car Cooking, Bullying, & Boring People

07 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear why Sarah keeps a stove (!) in her car (and uses it!). Susie describes a documentary about bullying, and how it made her wonder if she'd ever bee...

603: Sarah's Heaven, Cave Time, & Butt Oxygen

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hear about the birth control for men, and why we can't decide if this is a good or bad idea. We hear about an experiment to understand our sense of ti...

602: Bad Vegan, Gen Z Backlash, & Girl Scout Whiners

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the Bad Vegan docu-series about a vegan restauranteur who got scammed by her partner. Susie claims this is not a scammer story, but i...

601: Sounds of Cheese, Magic Fabric, & Hank the Tank

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Sarah couldn't move into a house because it "tested positive for meth," and we have some follow-up questions. Sarah describes a stud...

600: Mystery Garbage, Cheesy Corn, & Andy Warhol

24 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Susie went to a "get together" and found out she's become a weirdo during the pandemic. Sarah manifested a financial windfall, but she should've been ...

599: Earth Game, Sour Theory, & Bollywood Bootleg

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today Sarah asks listeners to say whether cramps are worse than having a baby. It's fun. We have more thoughts about why we evolved to taste sour, and...

598: Heimlich Hero, Dying for Wine, & Sour Theory

17 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about a crazy story involving Susie's husband Adam, where she had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on him. We learn about hospitals in F...

597: Soft Launching Love, Infrasound, Dead Data

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about Sarah's new life in Denver, why she's an agent of chaos, and how she's "soft launching" the reveal of her new man. She talks about...

596: Monk Heaters, Hot Coal Walking, & Amazon Returns

10 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Sarah still has her ex's last name, and Susie thinks she should change it to Princess Consuela Bananahammock. We learn about a study...

595: Autozone Rage, Vibrational Psychic, & Wired Wiener

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we start with a discussion about doctors and how they rank each other, and why Bill Cosby shouldn't even have a doctorate. Sarah rants about Aut...

594: Frozen Penis, Beethoven's Garbage, & Fight or Flight

03 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we learn about a man who can "taste" words, and why it's negatively affecting his relationships. Susie tells us about an Olympian who ended up w...

593: Bisexuality, Female Urinals, & Croissant Cancer

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss British Baking Shows evolution, and why Noel Fielding has made everyone in the world question their sexuality. We find out about a ne...

592: Kindergarten Tattoos, Armpit Fetish, & American Accents

24 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about a teacher who was fired from his kindergarten teaching job because he covered his face and tongue in tattoos. A Brainiac told us a...

591: Reality TV Lies, Tinder Swindler, & Meat Diet

21 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss how many of listeners dated men who sleep in "nests" of dirty clothes. We reminisce about the "mattresses" on the Ruins that were jus...

590: Rip Curl Girl, West Elm Caleb, & Casio Beats

17 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear how Susie's first time skiing went, and why she wishes the sport were more inclusive. We find out the reason why baby names have gotten ...

589: Pillow Fight, Worst Dates, & Nesting

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear where Sarah is, and why she's mad about biscotti. She reveals the worst date she ever had, and why the guy is probably into cryptocurren...

588: Union Yes, Cult of Confidence, & Old Music

10 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today Susie is all wound up about Bill Cosby and the new docu-series about him. We hear how the system was set up for Bill to successfully prey upon w...

587: Slutty Candy, Moon Man, & Litterbugs

07 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we cover everything from STDs to good tippers. First we hear why two trivia nerds should probably not be a couple. We learn how the patriarchy i...

586: Good Grief, Spray Tans, & Scams

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear how Susie's mom lost thousands in a scam. Susie bought a spray tanning machine, and Adam had to get university certification to use it. ...

585: Detective Sarah, Subliminal Messages, & Nervous Sweats

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear how Sarah is acclimating to her new snowy lifestyle and why snowboarding is a great first date, but hard on the knees. We discuss how ev...

584: Smell-o-Vision, Naked Baby Lawsuit, & Chocolate Chip Comfort

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get an update on Sally Rice's recovery, and Sarah is again reminded why she can't be a nurse. We discuss how we make good party guests. We le...

583: Sarah's Cockroach Fiasco, Regrets, & Post-Traumatic Growth

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear a hilarious tale of Sarah battling things that scurry AND mysterious wetness all at once. Her worst nightmare is our collective moment o...

582: Frickin Bats, Dust Mite Invasion, & Listener Complaints

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss why some middle names are chosen a lot for seemingly no reason. We discuss the funny gifts Susie & Sarah gave each other for Chri...

581: Dr. Death, Hidden Valley Road, & Wheel of Fortune

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get an update on Sally Rice and how Sarah is getting a workout and a lesson in empathy. We hear about a surgeon who ruined the lives of his p...

580: Killer Phone Call, Mob Mentality, & Meaning of Life

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear the craziest story of a phone call Susie got from a murderer. Sarah describes what it's like being a therapist, and why clients tend to ...

579: Sarah's Mom, Marilyn Manson, & Reality TV Business

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear what really happened to Sarah's mom, and why optimism can be very dangerous. We learn why several women have accused Marilyn Manson of a...

578: Beanie Mania, Fruitcake Fraud, & Love Letters

06 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today we realize we spoke to soon about some of our predictions or hopes for 2022. We're off to a rocky start. But that's ok. Onward and upward? Susie...

577: Searching in 2021, Scams, & Mercury in Retrograde

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Happy (?) New Year! We thought we were going to be optimistic again, but apparently we're already bitter three days into 2022. Oopsie daisy. Sarah tal...

576: Kenny G Crush, Stranded Vacation, & Snapped Murders

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss our show now that another year has passed. Are we in a never-ending time warp?? We hear about a documentary on Kenny G that was surpr...

575: Chicken Finger Emergency, Climbers, & Kangaroo Words

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why there's a chicken finger shortage, and we are panicked. Sarah does a documentary round-up and talks about why she wants to do some c...

574: Breastfeeding Cat, Mind Reading, & Janet Jackson Scandal

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today Susie confronts Sarah about her MIA status on social media, and Sarah claims it has something to do with Helena Bonham Carter. But she did confe...

573: Death of the Dad Joke, Stained Sweatpants, & Sad Denial

09 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today Sarah describes the steps she's taking to perform self-care. Susie asks Sarah if moving to Colorado is her version of cutting bangs. She explain...

572: Challenge Trauma, House of Horrors, & Scared Straight

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Susie is fired up about the Challenge, and Sarah was re-traumatized by an episode recently. Susie gives a documentary round-up with ...

571: Sobriety Sabotage, Childless Women, & Mullet Love

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today's episode is more like a therapy session for Sarah, who has found herself single again. She is grappling with her dating life, whether to use da...

570: Penis Rot, Dreams in Crisis, & Blobs of Color

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today's theme is AWHs (accidents waiting to happen) and, well, because there were a lot of accidents that actually happened this week. Susie's brakes ...

569: Sex Toy Safety, Jew Face, & Serial Killer Origin Story

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah is especially into the autumnal season this year (and Susie is, of course, wearing a turtleneck). We eat our SVU Did It ca...

568: Alabama Snake, TikTok Miracle, & Holiday Weight

18 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about people who handle snakes as an expression of their faith and one preacher who used the snakes as a weapon against his wife. We fin...

567: Saying Yes to Drugs & Toilet Paper Nightmare

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get the scoop on Sarah's dangerous liaison in Mexico and why mariachi music might not be as hellish as she thought. Sarah met her twin, and S...

566: Detective Sarah, John Wayne Gacy, & Mormon Underwear

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Susie shares her thoughts on the Britney Murphy documentary, and Sarah decides she's going to solve her suspicious death. We discuss Caitlyn Jenner's ...

565: Tandem Bikes, Dog Poop, & Orange Juice Teeth

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we realize we have passed up Law & Order in episodes, and we need your help in figuring out how to celebrate. Susie thinks Mark Zuckerberg i...

564: Pop-Tart Lies, Magnet Fishing, & Vienna's OnlyFans

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why a woman is pissed at Pop-Tarts, and decided to sue Kellogg's to get breakfast justice. Susie explains why there might be more to...

563: Hippos are People, Kinky Crows, & Royal Love

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Sarah wasn't really into spooky season as much this year, but don't worry, she's still a witch. She describes why her ex made her le...

562: Darth Vader's Babysitter, Temporary Tattoos, & "Tic"Tok

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss why male chefs are venerated, worshipped, and adored, while female chefs are hidden, required to be effortless, and see as instinctua...

561: Take the Money, Feel Your Balls, & Naked Run

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we realize we used to fat-shame ourselves in our early episodes, and we're relieved we have evolved a bit since then. Sarah describes a roller c...

560: Chesty Chess Players, Public Shaming, & Toilet Romance

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about a woman suing GEICO for an STD she got. Sarah was shamed by her doctor over an STD test. We hear about a women's chess tournament ...

559: Bumbling Romeo, Love on the Spectrum, & Tight Jeans

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get a recap of Sarah's trip to Colorado where she bit the bullet and joined a dating app. We hear about her date and why it would have been S...

558: Nazi Lies, Cookie Tin Nostalgia, & Weight Loss Cult

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Alanis Morisette is not happy about a documentary coming out about her life (that she participated in). We discuss multiple pers...

557: Live, Laugh, Love, Primal Kink, & Bug Killer

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss "word art" and hear why Susie & Sarah are not into home decor that includes words. We are living, laughing, and loving, but we do...

556: Accidental Sexism, Elvira's Protégée, & Milk Crate Challenge

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear why Sarah is mad at ANOTHER retailer. Susie poses a query about a time when she was "accidentally sexist," and Sarah shows her why it's ...

555: Subtle Bitch, Cactus Thief, & Video Game Life

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about Sarah's missing caterpillar, and hope for a day when it emerges in all its ugly moth glory. Susie realizes she's a huge bitch (not...

554: Paralympic Scandal, Crispy Crunchy, & Tattoos for Tacos

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about a scandal where people faked intellectual disabilities to compete in the paralympics. We discuss why gay guys love gymnastics, and...

553: Challenge Auction, Foot Mystery, & Trauma Confrontation

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear Susie's theory about why Sarah is especially charming, and how anyone can adopt her strategy for being charismatic. We reminisce about "...

552: LulaRich, Bird Genius, & Tongue Thrusting

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the LulaRich documentary about Lularoe, MLM companies, and the intersection of capitalism and religion. Susie makes Sarah unfollow a ...

551: Van Gogh Immersion, Happy Elephant, & Bears on Trial

20 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah is in a zen period (maybe Susie's giggle phase brings Sarah peace?). We discuss an art installation Sarah went to, and why...

550: Scandalous Love, Death Row Debate, & Coney Island

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out how Sarah's Amazon boycott and trail training are going. We get an update on the guy who married a doll, and apparently he's moved o...

549: Smuckers, Coffee Cups, & Witchy Hot Takes

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Susie has the giggles. Bad. And she and sarah have a disagreement about Smuckers jelly of all things. Sarah shares the history o...

548: Reality TV Consequences, Method Acting, & Natural Celebrity

09 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah's mom thought giving Sarah an all-liver diet would make her smart (and it kind of worked?). Susie and Sarah realize that r...

547: Getting Lucky, Creative Inspiration, & Horse Girl

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out how to increase your creativity and create "moments of inspiration," and we're kind of annoyed about the advice. Sarah reveals why s...

546: Sarah's Sexy Hotel Nightmare, Filet-o-Fish, & Secret Smoking

02 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Susie thinks she's extra lucky these days, but her mom disagrees. We discuss someone who recently trolled Sarah's instagram, but...

545: Sarah's Nature Romance, Speedwalking & Lesbian Declaration

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get the update on Sarah's camping adventure with her new love interest, Barry! We ask hard-hitting questions like, "where did you go poo...

544: Reincarnation, Penis Snake, & Sherpa Scandal

23 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear a full-throated defense from Sarah about she would never join a cult. Susie remains dubious. We learn why Sarah believes in reincarnatio...

543: Quakers, Bronze Medals, & French Culture Wars

19 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we debate whether dreams can be interpreted and whether they're meaningful. Susie talks about a woman who made an incredible astrophysical disco...

542: Challenge TikTok Feedback and Mind/Body Connection

16 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the reaction people had to a recent TikTok Sarah did about Johnny taking the money on Rivals 3. Despite her proclamation that she is ...

541: Mike Tyson, Appeal of Chaos, & Influencer Speak

12 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we talk about the documentary Dick Johnson is Dead, and the ways that a filmmaker is confronting her dad's mortality. We examine the legacy of M...

540: Sarah's Romance, Feminine Energy, & Simone Biles

09 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we get the best news ever--there's someone in Sarah's life who is getting her motor running, and we are HERE FOR IT! She tells us how they met (...

539: Gray Hair Reversal, Bear Terror, & Bezos Rage

05 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss Sarah's theory about bathroom habits relating to disposition. Susie describes a short film that made her see her own ablism. We learn...

538: How Sarah Got Her Groove Back

02 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out how Sarah is starting to feel more herself, and participated in an unusual ceremony with a Buddhist ritualist to make it official. W...

537: Reality TV Shame, Resting Bitch Face, & Mystery Packages

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out whether marijuana can actually make you a better athlete (if Sarah is any indication, then the answer is yes!). We learn about very ...

536: Uniform Patriarchy, Water Food, & Birds Aren't Real

26 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out about the makeup discoveries Sarah recently made, and why she was out of the beauty loop. We get very wound up about the Olympics an...

535: Rent a Friend, Expiration Dates, & Religious Disgust

22 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we follow-up on the baby fetish debate, and respond to feedback from a listener. We learn about Williams Syndrome which makes people filled with...

534: Christmas Cards, Cult of Busy-ness, & Women's Parade

19 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why women in Ukraine's military wear heels. We learn why people are into dog years, but not cat years. We discuss the cult of busy-n...

533: Fat Suits, Google Maps Bereavement, & Bird Paramedics

15 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we learn about Hollywoods uncomfortable history with the fat suit. We discuss whether this trend is changing, and why it was such a common plot ...

532: Fetish Furniture, Sarah's Vagina, and Modest is Hottest

12 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we talk about Sarah's trip to Pittsburgh. She reveals why her competitive nature has decreased in her old age. We find out about an academic jou...

531: Suitcase Wheels, Laundry Quandary, & Mirrors

08 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out what happened on Sarah's blind date. We find out why space travel is more disgusting than we realized, and now Sarah can't become an...

530: Sarah's Blind Date, Free Britney, & Introverts

05 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A Brainiac set Sarah up on a blind date, and we discuss how she's feeling about and preparing for it. Susie rants about her "invisible labor" of makin...

529: Slip n Slide Shiz, Food Racism, & Telepathic Friends

28 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why production was shut down on a network show because of...poo. We hear why some people think the grocery store's ethnic food aisle...

528: Whale Tale, Changing Reality, & Night Pee

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today Sarah revealed that she finally broke down and started watching the Bachelorette. Sure, she doesn't know the name of the bachelorette and refers...

527: Hysterical Pregnancy, Feeling Small, & Scissoring

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out about a very real and very weird phenomenon known as Couvade Syndrome, where a man develops pregnancy symptoms while his partner is ...

526: Mindful Snack, Hangover Anxiety, & Boomer Bodies

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today Sarah is a live wire--her ADHD is providing energy and emotions, and we're here for it. We find out about another high school yearbook scandal i...

525: Talking Dogs, Marriage Pacts, & Crossword Equality

14 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out about a man whose bride died at the altar, so he married her sister instead (romance is alive!). Find out why people think dogs can ...

524: Sarah's Invention, Women's Holes, & Dirty John

10 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah has a list of inventions she can't discuss, but will also not invent. We find out about a "big little" farm that is gettin...

523: Slut Text, School Censorship, & Diamonds in Auschwitz

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out about an accidental slut-shaming text that has us WOUND UP. We discuss a public school who decided to censor yearbook pics that they...

522: Sarah's Vulnerability, Post-Pandemic Dating, & Epiphanies

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we basically have a therapy session where Susie and Sarah switch roles and Susie offers insight about Sarah's personality, life, and behaviors. ...

521: Disgusting Food, Underwater Church, & Cheetos Scam

31 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Susie's ghost left her house. We find out what the Museum of Disgusting Food is all about, and why it might encourage ethnocentr...

520: Power of Habit, Parallel Universe, & Being Cheugy

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah has been diving in to more wellness habits to combat burnout. She describes how the book The Power of Habit taught her how...

519: Chimp Mom, Mountain Confusion, & Drugs for Grown-ups

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Susie had an existential crisis over chimpanzees. She explains why liminal spaces like hallways, parking garages, and abandoned ...

518: Challenge Tweets, Glass Bridges, & Shark Dispute

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we hear about Sarah's late night Challenge tweets and why she has regrets. We discuss why reality tv isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sarah rave...

517: Jeopardy Racism, Border Dispute, & Color of Colors

17 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's 5/17 and it's episode 517, so this is bound to be a great episode. We discuss the Jeopardy scandal where a contestant might have used a white pow...

516: Failures, Big Noses, & Racist Graffiti

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why 2021 is turning into a year of firsts and failures for Sarah, and she's none too pleased. Susie inquires about Sarah's single li...

515: Mormon Murders, Silent Treatment, & Canadian Tuxedos

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the documentary Murder Among the Mormons and the reasons why booksellers are in a weirdly dangerous business. Sarah reveals her love ...

514: Mosquito Nightmare, Scorekeepers, & Side Hustles

06 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we heard about Sarah's latest catastrophe and why it was caused by "Wonder Woman syndrome." We discuss why pigeon nests are inspiring us to be t...

513: Heavens Gate Cult, Racist Dancing, & Cow Eyeballs

03 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today we find out why Sarah regrets using a Val-Pak for a dinner deal. We discuss the biggest art heist in the world, and how somehow it became boring...

512: Language of Pleasure, UFOs, & Rod Stewart Armpits

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today Sarah weighs in about the Frank and Cindy documentary. We learn about a new study that gives women the language they need to teach their partner...