How to Stop Feeling Left Out in English Conversations: Try This Simple Technique
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What communication technique can help improve conversation skills?
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with me, your host, Charlie Baxter. In today's episode, we're not going to be doing culture. We're not going to be talking about vocabulary. We're not going to be doing any grammar or pronunciation. Today, we're going to be focusing on a communication technique to improve your conversation skills, to make you a less passive communicator, conversation list and a much more active one so you go from feeling a little bit awkward and quiet and nodding along in the corner to being center stage and steering the conversation towards topics that you actually have something to say about so let's begin I find it quite odd how nobody ever actually teaches us these things.
We just get thrown into socializing as little kids. And then over years and years, we sort of figure out how to get by. And most of us miss out on how to be a good conversationalist. And that leads us to think it's something you have or don't have, which is really detrimental because it makes those who haven't learned how to be one feel like there's no hope. I'm not a good conversationalist, so what's the point? I'll just listen. Well, I'm here today to challenge that. We will start with a simple yet powerful technique that many good conversationalists use on a regular basis. It's something that will help you go from just getting by in a conversation to genuinely having brilliant conversations.
How can I transition from being a passive to an active communicator?
So today we're not doing grammar. We're not doing vocabulary. We're not doing pronunciation. We're not doing culture. We're focusing on a technique that will improve your ability to be active in a conversation instead of stranded on the edge of it, nodding along, waiting for a gap that never comes. And I'm going to call it branching out. Okay. So what is branching out? Let's say if someone gives you a bit of information and The conversation reaches a little pause and instead of letting it die there, you take what's been said and you branch off into a related topic, one that keeps things alive and ideally steers the chat somewhere you actually feel comfortable. The key word there is the pause, because every conversation has these little natural lulls, these tiny moments where the topics run out of steam and nobody quite knows where to go next.
Most people freeze in that gap. The branching out person, though, they see it as their moment. That pause is the invitation for them to intervene or branch out. And I'd say it's a bit like a muscle. You know, the first few times you do it, if it's a new technique to you, it will feel clunky and slow. But stick with it and it will become second nature. Now, the best way to show you this is to actually watch it happen. So I want you to meet three fictitious friends. There's Tom and Sophie, who between them could talk for England, meaning they could talk a lot for a long period of time. And then there's Alex, who's a bit quieter, the one hovering slightly outside the chat, wanting to to join in, but never quite finding the door.
Alex is the one we're rooting for today, rooting for, supporting, wanting to do well. So we're going to watch one single evening in one single pub. First, we'll watch it go wrong for Alex. Then we'll rewind and watch Alex take control of the exact moment in five different ways. All right, let's set the scene. We're in a pub, a quaint, quintessentially English pub. Three drinks are on the table and Tom and Sophie are mid flow. And Tom's saying, you know, maybe he's looking at his phone. He says, I swear my screen time went up again this week.
Five hours a day. Five.
Then Sophie says, don't. Mine said the same. And I nearly threw the bloody thing in the bin. Then Tom says, it's the scrolling. You pick it up to check one thing. And 40 minutes later, you've forgotten what you were there for. Sophie says, I know every single time I keep saying I'll do something about it. Right. Excuse the terrible acting. But that is a moment where a natural little pause comes in. The topics run its course. The gap is kind of widening. And Alex, who hasn't said anything yet,
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What communication technique can help improve conversation skills?
0:02–1:53
2
How can I transition from being a passive to an active communicator?
1:53–11:14
3
What is the 'branching out' technique in conversations?
11:14–13:18
4
How do natural pauses in conversation create opportunities?
13:18–21:30
Speakers
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