The British English Podcast
How to Stop Feeling Left Out in English Conversations: Try This Simple Technique
16 Jun 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What communication technique can help improve conversation skills?
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with me, your host, Charlie Baxter. In today's episode, we're not going to be doing culture. We're not going to be talking about vocabulary. We're not going to be doing any grammar or pronunciation. Today, we're going to be focusing on a communication technique to improve your conversation skills, to make you a less passive communicator,
conversation list and a much more active one so you go from feeling a little bit awkward and quiet and nodding along in the corner to being center stage and steering the conversation towards topics that you actually have something to say about so let's begin I find it quite odd how nobody ever actually teaches us these things. We just get thrown into socializing as little kids.
And then over years and years, we sort of figure out how to get by. And most of us miss out on how to be a good conversationalist. And that leads us to think it's something you have or don't have, which is really detrimental because it makes those who haven't learned how to be one feel like there's no hope. I'm not a good conversationalist, so what's the point? I'll just listen.
Well, I'm here today to challenge that. We will start with a simple yet powerful technique that many good conversationalists use on a regular basis. It's something that will help you go from just getting by in a conversation to genuinely having brilliant conversations.
Chapter 2: How can I transition from being a passive to an active communicator?
So today we're not doing grammar. We're not doing vocabulary. We're not doing pronunciation. We're not doing culture. We're focusing on a technique that will improve your ability to be active in a conversation instead of stranded on the edge of it, nodding along, waiting for a gap that never comes. And I'm going to call it branching out. Okay. So what is branching out?
Let's say if someone gives you a bit of information and The conversation reaches a little pause and instead of letting it die there, you take what's been said and you branch off into a related topic, one that keeps things alive and ideally steers the chat somewhere you actually feel comfortable.
The key word there is the pause, because every conversation has these little natural lulls, these tiny moments where the topics run out of steam and nobody quite knows where to go next. Most people freeze in that gap. The branching out person, though, they see it as their moment. That pause is the invitation for them to intervene or branch out. And I'd say it's a bit like a muscle.
You know, the first few times you do it, if it's a new technique to you, it will feel clunky and slow. But stick with it and it will become second nature. Now, the best way to show you this is to actually watch it happen. So I want you to meet three fictitious friends. There's Tom and Sophie, who between them could talk for England, meaning they could talk a lot for a long period of time.
And then there's Alex, who's a bit quieter, the one hovering slightly outside the chat, wanting to to join in, but never quite finding the door. Alex is the one we're rooting for today, rooting for, supporting, wanting to do well. So we're going to watch one single evening in one single pub. First, we'll watch it go wrong for Alex.
Then we'll rewind and watch Alex take control of the exact moment in five different ways. All right, let's set the scene. We're in a pub, a quaint, quintessentially English pub. Three drinks are on the table and Tom and Sophie are mid flow. And Tom's saying, you know, maybe he's looking at his phone. He says, I swear my screen time went up again this week.
Five hours a day. Five.
Then Sophie says, don't. Mine said the same. And I nearly threw the bloody thing in the bin. Then Tom says, it's the scrolling. You pick it up to check one thing. And 40 minutes later, you've forgotten what you were there for. Sophie says, I know every single time I keep saying I'll do something about it. Right. Excuse the terrible acting.
But that is a moment where a natural little pause comes in. The topics run its course. The gap is kind of widening. And Alex, who hasn't said anything yet, just sits there. Okay. Just, we do, we, we do this meaning, um, twiddling your thumbs. Um, so Alex doesn't say anything. And then after a moment, Tom naturally fills the space by saying, ah, that reminds me.
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Chapter 3: What is the 'branching out' technique in conversations?
So you're moving the chat backwards or forwards in time. So we've got Sophie's last line. Yeah, every time I keep saying I'll do something about it. Same pause. But here's the different move. Alex then says, do you reckon we were actually happier before all this? You know, like pre-smartphone. And then Tom responds, God, I used to be so bored on the bus, just staring out the window.
And Sophie says, I miss being bored, though. Honestly, that's a weird thing to miss. Alex then can say, yeah, and I swear I had my best ideas come to me when I was actually bored. And the conversation continues. So the same setup, but different outcome, right? Alex branched out using a timeline and was able to reflect on how things were before.
And now there's a proper thoughtful little chat about boredom and creativity. And Alex didn't just join in on this. Alex started that conversation. So again, you can play to your strengths. If you're somebody who likes to reflect on these things, then you can do exactly that. You can lead or steer the conversation towards that kind of branch, right? But that is the second of five.
So the third one is a culture-based branch. So let's rewind again, same pause. And, you know, Sophie says, Yeah, I should really do something about it. Something like that.
And this time, Alex branches sideways across cultures, wondering how this looks somewhere else, which is likely a very useful one for you because you're probably interacting with two or more cultures in a conversation if you're a non-native speaker of English. Right. So we have Sophie saying, yeah, every time I keep saying I'll do something different or I'll do something about it.
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Chapter 4: How do natural pauses in conversation create opportunities?
And then Alex says, do you think it's the same everywhere? Like, I heard some schools make the kids hand their phones in at the gate now. And then Sophie says, oh, do they? That's a brilliant idea, actually. And Tom says, my cousin's in Sweden. He reckons nobody touches their phone in cafes over there. Everyone just sits and talks. Sophie says, really? I'd love that. Or I'd find it terrifying.
One of the two. And the conversation continues. So again, same pause, but a sideways move this time. He's moved it across borders, let's say. Is it the same everywhere else? And instantly there's a door open for everyone to pour in what they know. You know, Tom's cousin in Sweden, someone's holiday, someone's
home country and as i said this branch is gold for english learners because it's that perfect invitation for the person you're talking to to to tell you all about their own world you hand them the floor and they feel interesting and you learn something And and then if they are a half decent human, they will ask you about your culture in regards to this topic. Win win. OK, get the idea.
Let's do two more, though. But to recap quickly. So we had leaning into a personal branch. So. learning more about the individual or timeline branch going backwards or forwards in time. And then we just had the culture branch. So thinking about other cultures and whether different groups of people do different things. So the fourth one is I'm going to call the cause and consequence branch.
So again, another rewind, same pause. Now Alex digs into the why or the what happens next. So Sophie says, yeah, every time I keep saying I'll do something about it. And then Alex says, why are they so hard to put down, though? It's not an accident, is it? Somebody's designed them to be that addictive, haven't they? And then Tom says, oh, completely.
There are whole teams of people whose entire job is keeping you scrolling. Sophie then says, that's a little bit sinister when you actually think about it. Then Alex might respond by saying, I'm somehow impressed and horrified at the same time. Right. So this time Alex went digging. Why is this happening? You know, what's behind it?
and he looks genuinely curious and thoughtful rather than just nosy towards somebody and and you can point it in two directions you go backwards into what's causing it or forwards into where it's all heading either way you've turned a flat little observation into a proper little investigation and often people enjoy coming up with their own theory as to why something is how it is
But let's go on to the last rewind and the last branch. So this time, Alex zooms out, lifting the small thing up to the big idea underneath it. So Sophie says, every time I keep saying I'll do something about it. And then Alex says, it's mad though, isn't it?
When you actually stop and think about it, like we're moaning, but we've got every song ever recorded and basically all the human knowledge sat in our pockets. Our grandparents would have called it witchcraft. Sophie retorts by saying, that's true. A video called my sister in Sydney this morning for free. Then Tom says, do you know what?
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