This week on The Broski Report, Fearless Leader Brittany Broski discusses milk alternatives, hosts book club, and provides a crash course on Sherlock Holmes. 👕 Get your merch here: https://broski.shop/ Follow The Broski Report: https://www.linktr.ee/broskireport https://www.tiktok.com/@broskireport https://instagram.com/broskireport Follow Brittany: https://www.tiktok.com/@brittany_broski https://instagram.com/brittany_broski https://youtube.com/brittany_broski Follow Royal Court: https://www.youtube.com/@royalcourt https://www.tiktok.com/@bbroyalcourt https://www.instagram.com/royalcourt https://www.twitter.com/bbroyalcourt Brought to You By: Seat Geek – Download the app and get 10%-off with code BROSKI2025 PDS Debt – Get your free debt analysis at https://pdsdebt.com/broski Zocdoc – Stop putting off the doctor – https://zocdoc.com/broski Songs of The Week: CAFé CON RON by Bad Bunny Arm’s Length by Sam Fender Reproductive Resources: https://aidaccess.org https://plancpills.org https://Ineedana.com https://www.reprolegalhelpline.org/ https://heyjane.com LGBTQ+ Resources: https://Translifeline.org https://Glaad.org https://Pflag.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Climate Resources: https://Oceanconservancy.org https://Climateemergencyfund.org Some helpful credible resources/links to help Free Palestine: Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund - https://www.pcrf.net/ UNICEF - https://www.unicefusa.org/stories/helping-gazas-children-cope-trauma Doctors Without Borders - https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/secure/give-monthly-double-your-impact-search-onetime-reverse-mobile?ms=ADD2301U3U49&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND.DWB_CKMSF-BRAND.DWB-GS-GS-ALL-DWBBrand.E-BO-ALL-RSA-RSARefresh.1-MONTHLY&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6PGxBhCVARIsAIumnWZpQAMikxPIRiPMfAjYsJZ-eHiRQV2pw7tu2Jlo6YL8Gk_uaTSwH0MaAtFGEALw_wc World Central Kitchen - https://wck.org/ World Health Organization - https://www.who.int/ Headcount - https://www.headcount.org/ IG ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW: @eye.on.palestine @aljazeeraenglish @palestinianyouthmovement @byplestia @motaz_azaiza @impact CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 01:35 – Milk Alternatives & Caffeine 08:17 – State of The World 09:43 – Beyonce 11:00 – Instrumental Music 12:00 – Ballet Warm-Ups 15:04 – Mustache Man 18:35 – Book Club 22:40 – Historical Book Store 26:02 – Sherlock Holmes 42:45 – Success Analysis 44:50 – Sherlock Holmes Cont. 45:52 – Maximalism in Prose 49:50 – Sherlock Holmes Cont. 54:28 – Book Club Cont. 59:44 – Paris Fashion Week 1:05:04 – Outro #brittanybroski, #broski, #broskination, #broskireport, #cortado, #espresso, #caffeine, #beyonce, #ballet, #paris, #sherlockholmes, #victorianengland, #paris, #fashionweek
Chapter 1: What is Brittany Broski's take on milk alternatives?
Some things really quickly. I did have a Cortado this morning. Okay, now I've figured out what that is. That's going to be three shots of espresso, steamed oat milk. And if you have never smelled what heated up oat milk smells like, I wouldn't recommend it. That shit about made me gag. Okay? Tastes fine. But then again, oat milk, I guess, is bad. Because there's palm tree oil in it. I don't know.
Everything I consume is made of plastic. I'm turning into a fucking plastic carton. There's plastic in my blood.
I don't know. Everything's like, have you tried the viral milk replacement? Fucking... Fucking macadamia nut milk. And I'm like, oh, great.
So I guess oat milk's out. So I go look up what's in macadamia nut milk plastic. Oh, perfect. So this plastic's better for me than the other plastic. Okay. Thank you for clearing that up. What the fuck? And also, what are you going to do? Go to a coffee shop and be like, half a teaspoon of macadamia nut milk, please. I hate that feeling. Can I get the milk alternative? My tummy, I be shitting.
Like that's the, like when you order a milk replacement, a milk alternative, you are admitting to the cashier that you are of a weak breed. Could I get the oat milk? Okay, you are at the bottom of the food chain. That's what you're admitting, okay? My gut bubbles when I smell milk. That's what you're telling them. You're communicating that in a roundabout way.
And there's something very humiliating about that. It's a humiliation ritual, okay? When I'm like, could I get the almond milk? Oh, you're a puss? Yeah. Yeah, sometimes my butthole kind of bleeds when I poop. Sometimes I have milk and then the rest of my day is ruined. I have to stay home. Oh, not the cow milk for me. I'll actually have a fucking reaction. Yeah, I had a Cortado.
I guess it was okay. Three shots of espressos, you know, that'll do it. And I had that about 30 minutes ago. So I don't know. How long does it take coffee to kick in for real? How long does it take coffee to kick in? Within 10 to 30 minutes, but can take up to 60 minutes. Okay, great. The peak concentration of caffeine in the blood occurs after about 45 minutes.
Y'all, once again on this podcast, I am a ticking time bomb. Also, the last two episodes... I filmed in the same day. Surprise. I took an edible for one of them and then I felt, and it kicked in halfway through. And then I filmed the second episode. So I was just, I heard a damn guy. And I did not even, I watched it back and I was like, good Lord. I really thought I was like, they can't tell. Yay.
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Chapter 2: Why does Brittany discuss caffeine and its effects?
You can tell. Hey, yeah, you can tell. Anyway, did a Cortado and now I'm doing, I'm working through these. Okay. Red Bull sent me these for free, these watermelon fucking. And I made the mistake. Because I'm only human and I bleed when I have a milk. They sent me these. It's watermelon Red Bull.
Well, of course, the first time that I had ever tried this was in a sort of watermelon Red Bull vodka that I made myself that I almost puked up later. So naturally, when this sort of flavor combo hits my palate, I want to gag. And that is not Red Bull's fault. It's certainly sort of Pavlovian conditioning that I've done to myself.
where now every time I taste the watermelon Red Bull, I also taste Tito's vodka. And I am a fan of both of those things individually, but not together, I would not recommend.
Because on TikTok, people were like, watermelon Red Bull vodka? It's basically like a watermelon Jolly Rancher. And I was like, candy!
And me as a 27-year-old woman was like, candy in my drink! Yes! Candy, candy! 27. Okay, walk, don't run. Wait. Run, don't walk to try the watermelon Jolly Rancher fucking sugary drink. Sugary poo-poo in your diaper drink. Me like, okay, where can I find that? I just picked a wedgie. Okay, so update on that is I'm about three espresso shots and a watermelon Red Bull deep.
80?
64.
Okay, so let's do 64. Calculator. 64 times 3 plus 80. Fuck me. Okay, so... Okay, so I've got 272 milligrams of caffeine right now in my system.
Yeah!
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Chapter 3: How does Brittany Broski feel about ballet and classical music?
Lemonade did not win Album of the Year the year that it was nominated. I digress. Cowboy Carter had won. Okay? Now, the cultural significance of Cowboy Carter... I'm not the one to actually speak on it. You know what I mean? Well, actually I have. Go watch the Calvin Carter episode because I spoke on it. This is so, like, you want to talk about deserving.
You want to talk about the most, like, heavily awarded Grammy winning artist of all time. Thank you, Beyonce. Okay? And there's really nothing else to say. How about the look of shock on her face? I love her so much.
I love her so much.
Okay.
What the fuck? Okay, two more things really quick that are just completely unrelated. In the vein of music, there is a YouTube video called Morning Jazz Playlist to Start Your Day. And the thumbnail is Snoopy making a sandwich and And I cannot recommend this video to you people enough.
This video provides me a sense of calm and peace in the morning that I just cannot... I'm on this wave now where I'm trying not to listen to music with words in it. I'm trying not to listen to too much music with words in it, okay? I'm doing a lot of classical. I'm doing a lot of exciting classical, Tchaikovsky and Bach, okay? And Straussburg. And I'm also doing a lot of bossa nova.
Then I do some of this, like smooth jazz for cooking or morning jazz to get your day started. And I'll do my little ballet stretches because here's another thing that I've discovered. Because I haven't talked to you all in a while. I've been gone. I was in Paris and now I'm back. I'm stateside. There is a plethora of YouTube videos on YouTube that I just get recommended on my homepage.
But essentially, it's a morning warm-up bar. Because you know how ballerinas will warm up at the bar, that little... bar, doing the little plies and stretching and whatever and warming up their ankles and whatever. They put those for the Royal Ballet School in London and I think two other ballet schools. Sometimes they'll put the full hour-long warm-up on YouTube.
Of course, I don't really know what they're doing, so I can't follow along, but it's a good sort of motivator. I'll put that on while I'm in bed, still waking up in the morning. I'm like, Okay, let's do it. Get up. Let's stretch. You know what I mean? So I'll do that. And they always play piano in the background to warm up to, like exciting piano. And it's good. It's good for me, I think.
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Chapter 4: What does Brittany Broski discuss in her book club segment?
So if you've read them, great. If you haven't, you should. That's sort of what the Broski Nation book club is. It could be any book in existence and you come to book club and I'm like, you did the assigned reading, right? And you're like, what is I'm reading? And I'm like, that just docked you pay. That just docked you pay and food.
Your rations were just slashed in half because you didn't read Sherlock Holmes. And did I ever tell you to read Sherlock Holmes? No, but you should just know to. Because I'm consistently sending out telepathic messages to all of Broski Nation, okay? If you feel a brain zap one day, that's me trying to get in there. That's me trying to get up in there. And you're resisting.
And for that, I'm cutting your pay. If you're, my right temple is pulsing, that's me being like, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, you will bounce on it. And that's y'all resisting. Okay. That's me. If you see me appear to you in a dream, that's for real. I've taken on my final form, which is Nosferatu. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of Shakespeare and Company bookstore?
It is so worth the read. Sherlock Holmes, y'all know that I love a quirky, hyper-intelligent protagonist. And not in a sort of cringe way, but in a he's so genius, he's misunderstood type of way. I think those characters are so magnetic and And a few off the top of my head are sort of going to be like a Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. Definitely like a Sherlock Holmes.
Definitely like... I'm going to throw another Robert Downey Jr. in there. I'm actually going to... Oh, Mando. Mandalorian's another one. These characters that just seem to have all the answers. And even if they don't, they fake like they do, and then they figure it out. And they do that using... the information available to them.
Like at any given time, you're capable of, you know, it's just, okay, you get what I'm trying to say. So Arthur Conan Doyle creating Sherlock Holmes was a sort of passing, it was a short story at first that he published in either a newspaper or a magazine. People fucking loved it. He was a man of many different disciplines. I mean, he lived many lives in the 60, 70 years that he lived.
And just through all those different fields of study or interest, like chemistry, like medicine, like language, like travel, all of these things, he was very well-traveled, had a good grasp of understanding on the world. Later in his life, however, he had a very intense interest in spiritualism.
Which, honestly, the more that I was reading about Arthur Conan Doyle, I was like, that makes so much sense. Because there is this sort of mysticism to Holmes where he is, of course, a realist. And he's very tapped into human nature despite being so unhuman himself. He doesn't give in to the temptations or even have the urges of a romantic relationship or any desires that the normal person has.
would have of like greed, envy, this, that. His mind rebels at the idea of what a Victorian English society is, you know? And he was able to look at it with a critical eye while at the same time, because no human is truly black or white. It's very nuanced. He's able to look at society with a very critical eye and, in fact, give more credibility to the lower classes than the upper classes.
Because the lower classes, you know, he had a sense of... shared sense of identity with them, I guess, where he was well-to-do because he was a detective, a private consulting detective, that he made a livable wage, of course. But yeah, I mean, I think he finds that there's a raw honesty and a respectable sort of struggle within the lower class that he was much more willing to take on those cases.
Of course, with a... a shared interest in the upper nobility cases as well, because those are fucking tea. And across the board, human nature is the same. And those are sort of the conclusions that he's able to come to. It doesn't matter if you're rich, if you're poor, whatever. Human nature is human nature.
Conan Doyle's interest in spiritualism, while at the same time the natural sciences, whatever, make for a very interesting character, because those two things are opposed. And the beautiful thing about Sherlock Holmes and the way that these stories are told is that it differs from the sort of contemporary detective novel of the time, which, by the way, most were written by women. Love and love.
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