Chapter 1: What challenges did Eimear Coffey face in her early life?
From the outside, Eimear Coffey had the kind of life people dreamt of, until everything came crashing down. She grew up in Wicklow where the foundations of her life were shaped. A qualified Montessori teacher, her world truly began when she became a mum at just 23. Her son Daniel didn't just change her life, they grew up together.
Years later, life would surprise her again with another little boy, Ollie, born in 2018. From the outside, everything looked perfect. But behind closed doors, things were beginning to unravel. From devastating betrayal to navigating narcissistic abuse to the unimaginable fear of her child-facing life-changing disabilities.
And then, in the middle of it all, a breast cancer diagnosis that would change everything. This is a story of heartbreak, survival and ultimately strength. A story about losing everything you thought your life would be and finding something even stronger in its place. If this story resonates with you, please leave a comment or hit that subscribe button. It really helps.
And as always, this episode is proudly sponsored by ADHD Now, the online clinic transforming ADHD assessment and care across Ireland. If you are seeking an ADHD assessment or support, visit ADHDnow.com today.
Chapter 2: How did Eimear's relationship with her son Daniel shape her journey?
And I hope you please excuse me for my horse throat. I'm recovering from laryngitis. It was a very, very busy week. This is the comeback with Eimear Coffey.
Eimear, so delighted to have you. This is in the works since last November, I believe. Yes. Met you at Fiona's show. Yes. Up in Galway and met you. Oh, I have to give a shout out as well to your beautiful friend Siobhan. I know, my bestie. Oh, and I'll speak about how kind you are to me. You know, you don't forget certain kindness things.
No, he did something for me that night and I still remember that.
Chapter 3: What signs indicated Ollie might have developmental issues?
But you spoke at Fiona's show, which was incredible. And oh my God, you blew me away. And we've been chatting about doing a podcast. And we're here in Dublin. Yeah. We're doing it today. And you came to my live show with Siobhan. Oh, it was amazing, Brenda.
Thanks very much. Blew my socks off. But Siobhan and I really gravitated towards you. You're just such an inspiration, but you're so real, Brenda. Do you know? And you know, the Instagram world is brilliant, but it's lovely to get the real, real, real ones too. Yes.
Chapter 4: How did Eimear cope with her son's disabilities?
And you girls are very real. because I went up to Fiona's show walked into the room we were all getting our hair and makeup done I knew no one only Fiona and she wasn't and Hazel and Sarah doing the hair when you're going into a room like that and everyone was in there before you I was like oh my god my anticipation anxiety and you're going
yeah it's daunting you're like oh my god will these girls like me now and especially the two of you and Louise was there as well and there was a few others oh my god you were just like we knew each other all our lives and the kindness out of you girls you spoke at the show and then I'll never forget there was dinner after and I'll never forget you going do you want to come for dinner with us yeah
Took me under your wing. And I know I'm very sociable and everything, but I get a lot of social awkwardness. Especially when you're not drinking. I know you girls weren't drinking either. But I just wanted to say that from the off. I don't forget things like that and coming all the way down to my show in Cork then. You're amazing.
When we say we do something, we do it.
I know. And we were delighted to go to support you. Exceptionally beautiful people. And you are a beautiful soul, Eimear, but you have some story.
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Chapter 5: What impact did Eimear's breast cancer diagnosis have on her life?
And we're going to get through it. But how I do every podcast is start off where the person is from, where they grew up and what it was like.
Yeah. So I am from Wicklow, Wicklow Town. I grew up in Wicklow Town and I came from a large family, come from a large family, two brothers and four sisters. So there were seven of us and I had, you know, I had an amazing childhood, Brenda.
You know, seven of us going around heading off on holidays, France and Spain every year and loving each other, killing each other, you know, sisters fighting over clothes. And but very, very close knit family. My parents did a great job with us all. You know, they worked very, very hard. My mother was a stay at home mother and my dad was out working every day. And so.
They just, education was very important. They really insisted that we all get good education and that we all, you know, put that into ourselves to get the best out of what we could in life. So I had a great childhood, thank God.
Chapter 6: How did Eimear navigate a toxic relationship during her struggles?
Very kind of wholesome, you know, you're always out playing. You only got called in when, you know, when the streetlights come on and it's just not like that anymore. But Very, very happy childhood, very happy memories. So I grew up in Wicklow Town and then I headed off for a little while.
I headed off to New York after school and after college and lived over there for a couple of years, had a ball and then came back to Wicklow Town and kind of settled there. And what was it that you were working in at the time? So I'm a qualified Montessori teacher. So my background is early childhood care and education. So that is what lots of everybody in Wicklow know me for.
I had my own Montessori school, absolutely adored my profession, adored my kids. And I would have managed creches and nurseries and stuff over the years and managed staff. And I worked very, very hard. You know, I had my first little boy child.
Daniel well he's not little now he's 24 but you know he shaped me and changed my life and I worked very hard for him and for us and to buy my first house and that kind of thing you know but I loved my profession I loved my teaching and and yeah it was great.
Chapter 7: What led Eimear to discover her inner strength and resilience?
Tell me a bit about Daniel. Oh, Daniel is my rock. Jesus, yeah, Daniel is my rock. We've grown up together, Brenda. You know, I was 23 when I had him and we, myself and his father separated and we grew up together, like we holiday together. We were very, very close. Now, of course, there's a stage in the middle where they don't want to, you know, know their mammy and you're not cool.
But he is an absolute solid young man. And I always remember the teachers in, when I used to go to his parent teacher meetings in CCM, I always remember them saying to me, he's a gentle giant because he's a big six foot four fella and he is a gentle giant.
And now, you know, after everything I've been through, he's just that solid, you know, and, you know, he says the same for me, but we're very, very close. And now it's a lovely stage because he's 24 and, you know, we'll make arrangements to go for dinner together, you know, or will we? You know, he came to me when I ran the Rome half marathon.
He came to support me and jumped in and ran the last few kilometers with me. You're into the run. And Daniel had ran the Paris Marathon last year.
Chapter 8: How did running the Rome half marathon symbolize Eimear's comeback?
And I got in and ran with him for a little few minutes when he was struggling at that 40 km. And then he did the same to me in Rome. And I'll never forget him like, Mom, I'm so proud of you. I'm so and he running beside me and makes me emotional, you know, running beside me in Rome. So he's a he's a great young man.
And there's such a significance to that half marathon in Rome for you, which we'll get to later on. It wasn't just someone doing a half marathon. I mean, this was huge. Major. Which we will get to.
Then you had another son. Then I had my second little boy, 17 years apart. But I always wanted a second child. Brenda always really did. And I had my beautiful little Ollie in 2018. And...
Ollie, I left Hollis Street, you know, Ollie was perfect, what I thought and everything was fine and headed off and it was a dream come true to have Ollie and we had planned him and then at around, of course, early childhood care and education is my background. So at three to four months, I noticed he wasn't fixing and following, you know, with his eyesight.
And I just noticed a few little things with his development. That's my background. I know kids well, you know. And basically, I kept bringing him to the public health nurse and things began to unfold about Ollie and his development and so on and so forth. And I found out he was actually visually impaired.
And then at nine months old I spent ten, no eleven days in tele-hospital with him and that was shocking because all of a sudden Ollie had a team and it was a multi-disciplinary team and that Ollie was going to have disabilities that were going to affect his life. You know, like he wasn't sitting up or you know holding a rattle or doing the things that babies do.
And that, that was January 2019 and that was just such a shock. You know, I was just like, what? You know, when the word disability, like I began to have panic attacks and I just was like, how, how has this happened? Or like, how did we not know? I was so confused. How did we not know this from birth or, you know? So, but Ollie is an absolute joy. Like, he is the happiest little boy.
He's seven now. And anybody that knows Ollie, he'd buy and sell you. He's a great character. It's amazing how expressive a non-verbal child can be and how they can communicate. It's amazing. He's taught me so much about life, like how expressive he is and how he lives in the moment and how he enjoys things on a day-to-day basis.
So Ollie really came into my life for a reason, as tough as that was at the time and the trauma of finding out this was the route we were going to go on, you know. And anybody who has special needs children or disability children, there's a huge amount of grief with it as well, Brenda, because you're grieving. You're grieving a life that you thought they were going to have, you know.
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