Chapter 1: What hidden struggles does Eleanor Doyle face behind her social media persona?
When people think of Eleanor Doyle, they'll probably think of the funny videos, the positivity and the woman from Killarney who always seems to have a smile on her face. But behind the humour is a story of survival, a story of domestic abuse, fear, violence and trying to protect three young children while carrying more than anyone should ever have to carry.
In this episode, Eleanor talks about physical abuse, The night her former partner tried to strangle her where she genuinely thought she was going to die, how her nine-year-old son tried to pull a grown man off his mother and threats made against her home and feeling so broken.
She describes being seven and a half stone, unable to eat, feeling like her soul had been ripped out of her body while wondering how she was ever going to raise three children alone. But this conversation is not only about trauma, it's about survival. Because the woman you'll hear today is not the woman abuse tried to destroy.
Today, Eleanor is helping others, raising her children and proving that even the darkest chapters do not always get the final say. The episode is raw, honest and heartbreaking. But above all else, it's a comeback. If this story resonates with you, please leave a comment and hit that subscribe button. It really helps.
And as always, this episode is proudly sponsored by ADHD Now, the online clinic transforming ADHD assessment and care across Ireland. If you are seeking an ADHD assessment or support, visit ADHDnow.com today. This is The Comeback with Eleanor Doyle. We meet once again. We do, yes. Eleanor and I... Was it five, six weeks ago?
Yeah, about that, about five or six weeks ago.
You were here on Red FM with me and we did the podcast. We did. We did a great podcast. And then you came back and you said you wanted to redo it.
Yeah.
And your reasons for redoing it were?
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Chapter 2: How did Eleanor's childhood experiences shape her confidence?
You know, I really did meet the most beautiful people. But I did. I had a tough time in school. I was a pure tomboy. I wasn't a big girly. And I just I suppose I don't seem to be an easy target for people to pick on. You know, so, yeah, school was really it was a tough place, but there was some lovely people that I still see to this day.
And like they probably don't even realize that like how they got me through school, really, just by being kind and just by being nice, smiling or, you know, playing a game of basketball with you or saying hello to you, like little things, because school was definitely I just absolutely I just hated it. I hated it. And did you like primary school? Primary school was OK. Yeah, it was.
You know, I suppose I just always struggled in school. I just with my confidence and kind of, you know, making I just have friends and everything like that. But I just always seemed to be the target for people. I suppose I had issues going on themselves maybe and just kind of try to take their their crap out on me. I just kind of always felt like a target for that.
And do you think it was because you might have been shy or was it what you think it was? Well, you might have been a target.
I think I was just shy, you know, and I never would have stood up for myself. Do you know if anyone said anything? I wouldn't have said anything. I would have just taken it and off I went. So I always had that about me. I was just always shy and I never stood up for myself. And you'd bury it? Yeah, bury it and just move on and to the next time, to the next time.
And I never would stand up for myself. No.
So horrific.
Yeah.
And then would you have gone home and told them at home or anything? Would you have bottled it up?
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Chapter 3: What were the signs of trouble in Eleanor's relationship?
And I'm just, you know, grateful for that. Like, you know, but I remember there were, I suppose, you know, by this time now, there were like nine, six and three. And things were really, really bad. And as I said, I kept it, kept it from everybody. And then my dad had a massive stroke and he was like, you know, my hero, my everything, everything.
and he was such an active man it was just it just crushed the whole lot of us like me and my brother my sister my mom it just completely crushed us and they had been living he'd just retired and they'd been living in Turkey for eight months of the year and that so I couldn't tell them like they were living in this their world was broken as it was I couldn't tell them like what was going on you know because I just didn't want to cause any more hurt you know
And my sister was over there trying to help mom and dad in Turkey and the stroke here. And then they went to Turkey, we'll say the following summer or whatever. And it was kind of their last time there. I think that they needed to go there and My mom couldn't manage. My sister went over and helped for a while. And that was our kind of last time over there. But it was so bad.
So when my parents were over there, this was kind of like, let's say, the moment. My parents were over there and I had their car because mine was in the garage. And anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night. He was gone and my parents' car was gone. And I just went, oh, my God.
So anyway, the door started banging at two in the morning and I opened the door and he fell in, just covered in blood and just said, you were driving. I said, what are you talking about? What are you on about? Because you were driving. I said, driving what? I said, where's the car? She couldn't talk, he couldn't walk. So I just laid him in the bed and the door knocked and two guards came in.
And you know what? They were actually so nice. They were so lovely. I just got such a fright. I was in my dressing gown and they said, look, can we just come in for a minute? They saw I was shook up and I went into the sitting room and they sat with me for a while and they said, look, he was driving the car, you know, there's no way out, you know, just, you know. And I said, okay.
And so I just stayed up all that night. And the following morning, then it was kind of like, I looked as if nothing happened. Oh, sure, look, it was just whatever. And I said, no, like that was kind of, that was it. And do the funny thing. I'm not an overly religious person, but I always had this prayer to Padre Pio and I'd been saying it for two years.
I had it up in the sink at home, praying that he'd help. Every morning I say, I used to say the prayer. And he wrote off my parents' car on Pedro Pio's feast day on the 23rd of September. And my mom told me after that when they were over in Turkey, dad was up in the kitchen. He said, Jesus Nula, what you put that down there for? And she said, what?
And it was a picture of Pedro Pio and it was on the ground. But she had a little magnet and it was on the fridge. And she was telling me that story after, you know. But so I just said, look, it's like this, you know, I want to do what I can. He is the father of my children. I said, you're going to have to get help. And he said, right, right, I will, I will, I will.
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Chapter 4: How did Eleanor cope with the effects of domestic abuse?
Now, I hadn't got a euro off him, nor did I want it. And there was a court date set. And at this stage now, I had the safety and protection order from against him because he had threatened to petrol bomb the house. He was going to do X, Y and Z. So I slept on the couch for about a year and a half because I said the first point of contact is the door or the letterbox.
At least I'll be here and I can run up and grab the kids and get out of the house. So we went to court anyway and he wanted visitation rights and whatever and he was granted that under supervision. His father had to supervise the visits. So I used to drop the three of them down on a Sunday, whatever time it was, two to four.
And I used to have claw marks, nail marks in my arms from them, screaming and roaring. And I used to be trying to push them off me and I used to open the gate and I used to push them in the gate and close it and run. And I had to do that because it was a court order. And I, if I didn't, I didn't know what was going to happen. And then it was my second, my eldest daughter's communion.
I always said I'd be fair. So I said that the day of her communion, that he could come to the church, that he could take his photos with her, with his family, and that I would like to have her the day of her communion and that he could have her the following day. That was fine. So the following day, I got her up, got her ready in her dress and sent them off with him.
And that evening, I had told him, because he'd dropped them at my parents' house because he wasn't allowed near the house that we were in. And he got out of the car and he stumbled. He was half drunk. He got out of the car and my daughter had chocolate all down the front of her communion dress. And do you know the way you wear it the day two for the school? Yes, yeah.
So mom and I gave the night cleaning that or whatever and I went to my solicitor, told him what happened and the next court date that was brought in and the judge was still very much, well, he is their father and I'm kind of going, well, at this stage, my solicitor was there, I spoke up myself. So then left, didn't want any, I obviously didn't want any maintenance or anything like that.
But prior to actually courting me and out of things, he tried to take my son one day in the car. He locked the car. I can still see him inside, roaring, mommy, mommy, mommy. And there was a neighbor there near us. And I started roaring for the neighbor. And you see, he clocked, he didn't want anyone to see him that way, you see. Because it was always behind closed doors.
So I managed, he unclicked the button or whatever it was, and I managed to get him out of the car. But we had a family friend back home who was living near us and I rang him and I just told him what was going on. And he said to me, ring me any night. He said, if I'm on duty, he said, I'll get someone. If not, I'll get someone as quick to you as quick as I can. So I said, grand.
That was kind of it. So I couldn't go to, I didn't go into Clarny for about a year and a half, I'd say. My family were terrified in case he'd see me inside or he'd do something. And I just lived on my nerves. I lived on my nerves about a year and a half, like, or even for some time after, just in case he'd do something, come back to the house or do something like, you know.
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Chapter 5: What was the turning point in Eleanor's journey towards healing?
And finally, what's the one message you'd give someone who feels like they're never going to make it out?
Stop looking at the mountain, stand back a bit from it. You know, take small steps and climb that mountain. You'll have obstacles and everything along your way. But when you get to the top and you look back and you see that view, it's going to be worth every struggle that you had.
there's no better way I could end the podcast Eleanor Doyle if people want to follow you oh yeah so it's ele.doyle12 on Instagram Eleanor Doyle on TikTok and I'm on Facebook as well brilliant we have to keep them with the old Facebook Facebook very important Facebook very important the OGs are on the Facebook as well absolutely can't forget the OGs can't forget the OGs never never Eleanor a joy thank you so much thank you for making all the effort as well coming all the way up to Park and thanks for having me
Thank you.