The Daily Dad
Episodes
Teach Them These Four Virtues
02 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Aristotle worshipped them. The Christians and Stoics too. Four simple words. Four essential tenets for living:Courage. Moderation.Justice. Wisdom....
This Is What We Are Fighting For
01 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Because of the fiery trial of the Civil War and what it came to represent, Abraham Lincoln is, to most of us, a figure of moral guidance. This natura...
This Is How To Teach Them to Be Understanding
29 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"One of the wonderful benefits of reading fiction, studies have begun to show, is that it helps cultivate empathy... It also happens that fiction—th...
A Dad Must Ask For Help
28 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"If your kid was struggling, you’d want them to tell you, right? If they didn’t understand something in class, you’d want them to ask the teache...
Leave It At The Door
27 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"All day at work you experience stress. You witness other people’s stupidity. You are the victim of their moods and emotions. Your phone pings const...
It’s Time To Tap Into Their Energy
26 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"If you talk to any of your friends right now, you’ll hear stress. You’ll hear fear. You’ll hear anger. You’ll hear the fatigue in their voice...
You Have to Let Them Struggle
25 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"No father wants to see their kids suffer. It’s almost more painful for you than it is for them to watch them trip over their words, to scratch thei...
Show Them What’s What and Who’s Who
22 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Richard Feynman’s father took pains to show his son—usually by their photo in the newspaper—who was worthy of respect or not. He didn’t want ...
Don’t Let Them Dislike Themselves
21 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"One of the more vulnerable moments of Pete Buttigieg’s pioneering campaign for president (as a front-running, openly gay man) came in South Carolin...
Here’s How To Calm Your Kids Down
20 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Why are your kids so crazy? Why is everything so stressful? Why aren’t they doing better in school? Better at listening? Better at focusing?"Find o...
Pain Is a Part of Life
19 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Oh how you wish you could make sure they never suffered. Oh how you wish you could have prevented these last couple weeks. You don’t want them to b...
You Have to Face Your Flaws
18 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Each of us picked things up in childhood. Because of how our own parents were. Because of the experiences we had. Because of things we did... or didn...
Books Are Door-Shaped Portals
15 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"A while back, we gave you Kipling’s poem “If.” Well today, you have another job, to read some of Margarita Engle’s poem about books."Listen t...
This Is Something to Be Glad About
14 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"It can be hard to express your feelings as a father sometimes. Not so much because men are expected to bottle up their emotions, but because the emot...
What Is Your Anxiety Doing to Them?
13 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"You’re anxious. You’re stressed. You want them to be safe. You worry about what they’re doing when you’re not there. You worry about their fu...
Help Them Become Who They Are
12 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Bruce Springsteen has three children: Evan, Jessica, and Sam. One of them is an Olympic-level equestrian (which can not have been a cheap or easy int...
Don’t Let Your Kids Be Worse
11 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Arthur MacArthur was a vain and conceited man. He was a war hero at age 18 at the Battle of Missionary Ridge. From there he went on to become a colon...
What Legacy Are You Providing?
08 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Harry Truman was not a good businessman. The clothing shop he opened with a friend was a disaster—and he was paying off the debts through his senat...
What Will They Learn From This?
07 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Right now, you and your family are stuck at home. Or you trying to dig yourself out of the wreckage of a situation that wasn’t your fault, that is ...
These Are Also Magical Words
06 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Last week, we talked about some words that become magical when you become a dad. Although “I love you” is always powerful, suddenly, when you hav...
It Feels Good to Get Them Things
05 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Sometimes it can feel like being a dad is just an endless series of errands. It’s the call from the bedroom that they need a glass of water. It’s...
Can You Teach Them to Give It Their All?
04 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"We talked before about Kipling’s poem “If,” which was written as advice for Kipling’s son, John. It’s a beautiful poem about toughness and ...
Show Them What They’ll Get Out Of This
01 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Most schools and most parents teach reading all wrong. They bully kids into doing it. They pressure them. They tell them, 'Reading is what smart and ...
These Are Three Wonderful Words
30 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Before you had kids, 'I love you' was that powerful three word phrase. You said it to your future wife or your future husband and you loved hearing i...
You Have to Listen
29 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"...As parents, we tend to do a lot of talking. There are all the things we tell our kids. The things we remind them about. The lessons we try to teac...
Now Is The Time For Wisdom
28 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"It doesn’t matter how old you are or how old your kids are. You have more experience than them. In some cases, that’s a couple decades. In other ...
Lift Them Up, Don’t Hold Them Back
27 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Family is wonderful. None of us would be here, the writer Aaron Thier once put it, if people hadn’t taken care of us when we were small. Somebody b...
This Is the Main Lesson
24 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"There is so much we want to teach our kids—so much that fathers are expected to teach their kids. How to ride a bike. How to swim. How to throw a p...
Character Is Fate. Never Forget That.
23 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"These are challenging, uncertain times, no question. What’s at the root of it? How did we get here? And what can fathers do about it?The answer com...
How Will You Use This Time?
22 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Right now, most of us are stuck with what you might call dead time. We’re trapped indoors. We’re working from home… or not at all. Kids are out...
You Have To Treat Them The Same
21 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
"Does your dog’s gender matter to you? Like have you ever once thought about whether they were capable of this task or that task because of their se...
Never Make Fun Of Them For This
20 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Your kids will do all sorts of ridiculous things. They will trip and fall, and yes, you will sometimes laugh. You will tease them about this and that....
They Must Learn How To Compete
17 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It wasn’t until many years into his coaching career that Pete Carroll really settled into his philosophy—the system by which he built his teams, a...
You Must Find The Stillness
16 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This change we’ve made, this decision to become dads—it has uprooted everything. It’s like we were hit, suddenly, with a crossfire hurricane. Th...
Why Don’t You Know?
15 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
By now, you’ve almost certainly lost count of how many questions you’ve been asked by your kids. From the moment they can talk, that’s what fath...
It’s Your Fault They’re This Way
14 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
F. Scott Fitzgerald knew the long term damage of being spoiled rotten. Not only was he a prime and painful example himself—as we’ve written about—...
They Need You To Be Calm
13 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The world is a scary place right now. Your retirement accounts have taken enormous hits. Events are getting cancelled. Government officials are failin...
What Will You Regret?
10 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
On their deathbeds, fathers think about a lot of things. They think about the world they’re leaving to their sons and daughters. They think about ho...
Teach Them Early, Teach Them Often
09 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Each of us, no matter how old or successful, has things we wish we knew how to do. We wish we could speak another language, or change the oil in our o...
This Makes Us Crazy
08 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes it’s good to acknowledge our biases. And one of the biggest biases in our lives is our kids. Not just a bias in the sense that we prefer t...
What Do You Never Want Them To Think?
07 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Imagine that you’re gone and able to look down now and see your kids from above. Or imagine that somehow you had magical powers and could see inside...
You Come From A Strong Tradition
06 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re in your 30s, then your parents raised you through the global financial crisis, SARS, the bursting of the tech bubble, and 9/11. They saw t...
You Have One Job Today
03 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Your job today as a father is to do one thing. It’s to read this poem, which dates back to 1895, and then to think about how to incorporate its less...
What You’re Doing Is Important
02 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
These are strange times to be a father. Fathers have never been expected to do more—around the house, in their children’s lives. This is wonderful...
Imagine What This Is Like For A Kid
01 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Seeing your own parents now, as an adult, is stressful. There’s a great Ram Dass line that the comedian Pete Holmes has used in relation to his own ...
Here’s The Only Silver Lining
31 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
People are freaked out. Events are cancelled. Schools have been let out. You’re working from home, or, at least, not going out like you used to. Mon...
Tell Them of Cincinnatus
30 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know the story of Cincinnatus? He was a Roman general who had retired to his farm until he was called to rescue his country from an invasion. M...
Your Job Is To Keep Them Safe
27 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It’s in moments like these—a pandemic or a hurricane or a terrorist attack—that we fathers are thrown back into a more primal role. Yes, there a...
You Have To Help Them Discover This
26 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Almost every talented and successful person can remember their introduction to whatever it was that became their thing. In Mastery, Robert Greene expl...
Nobody Wins in a War of Attrition
25 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Because you’re in charge, because you’re so much bigger and stronger and smarter, it’s easy to get trapped into a battle of wills with your kids...
If They Don’t Get It From You, Where Will They?
24 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We know that our kids want to feel good, feel safe, feel loved. We know they want to feel that someone is proud of them, that they’re talented, that...
It Is Always Scary To Do This
23 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
There has never been a father—a good one anyway—that did not at least occasionally look at what was happening around them and question the world t...
You’ll Want Them To Come To You With Problems
20 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When your kids mess up, what’s your reaction? Do you freak out? Or are you calm? Do you make the situation better...or worse? Can you actually liste...
What Are They Learning From How You Carry Yourself
19 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
From his dad, Bruce Springsteen learned about shame, about broken pride, and struggling with demons that you can’t quite conquer. It’s an all too ...
They Feel Bad Enough Already
18 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It happened again. Your kid screwed up. They did something stupid—from drawing on the walls to getting caught drinking. They hurt someone or they li...
Give Them Access To This Wisdom
17 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
For thousands of years, humans have been expressing wisdom to each other through fables. Whether it’s Aesop or the Bible or Leonardo da Vinci or Han...
You’d Trade Anything For This, Yet…
16 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When Kobe Byrant took off in his helicopter from downtown Los Angeles on January 26th, he was a 5 time NBA champion. He was a 2x Finals MVP. He was a ...
The Trade Off Is Worth It
13 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
These kids have changed your life. There are so many things you used to do that you no longer can. Traveling with no notice. Staying out all night. Sl...
If You Feel Upset, Do This
12 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
You’re upset because you just blew it in that meeting. You’re kicking yourself because you meant to get up early and ended up sleeping through you...
Raise Them To Be a “Why” Child
11 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In one of F. Scott Fitzerald’s funniest short stories, “Head and Shoulders,” a certifiable genius falls in love with a showgirl. The plot and mo...
Don’t Let Them Get Discouraged
10 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We’ve all done it. It’s happened to almost all of us. We see a thing. We want to try it. It’s hard. And…we give up. Whether it’s karate, bus...
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
09 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It can be easy to question your parenting. To feel like you’re not doing good enough, that you’re not nearly enough. You see what other parents ar...
They Are Always Listening
06 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever heard your kids say something that just stops you cold? One of those remarks that instinctually makes you do a double take? It can be an...
Make Sure They Spend Time Around Old People
05 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In his book, The Vanishing American Adult, Senator Ben Sasse pondered what might strike a person from the distant past as odd about our modern society...
This Is Something to Work Towards
04 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever watched someone sit and play with a little kid for hours? Like totally engrossed, never checking a phone, never rushing, never getting b...
Introduce Them To The (Friendly) World of Ideas
03 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
General Jim Mattis has talked about his idyllic childhood in Pullman, Washington. There he spent time outdoors, explored, got in trouble, and had an a...
You Can't Prevent Them From Making Mistakes
02 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Nobody wants to see their kid make a mistake. That’s why we spend so much time teaching them right and wrong, why we try to be a good example, why w...
Don’t Let Your Kids Down
28 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know the story of the 300 Spartans? Maybe you do. It was first immortalized by Herodotus, and then has been passed down through the ages from S...
Why This Is So Important
27 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This is just my personality, we say. I just don’t have any energy when I get home from work, we complain. I’m in a bad mood today, that’s all. M...
This Is All You Can Want For Your Kids
26 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Douglas MacArthur was a complicated man. He was ambitious. He was vain. He made many mistakes. It’s very unlikely that he was a perfect father. In f...
Where Will They Get Their Degree?
25 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What schools are your kids attending? No, not what college or prep school. This is more of a “school of life” question. Charis Denison, a relation...
You Can Give Them This Gift
24 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In 1982-83, Jim Valvano coached the North Carolina State basketball team to a National Championship title. The Wolfpack was a mid-ranked team that ent...
Love is About Service
21 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ernest Hemingway was not a great husband or, as often as he should have been, a great father. He had four wives, at least one affair, and was often ab...
You Are Letting Them Steal From Your Family
20 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In early January, Kobe Bryant got a note from a reporter at ESPN. She was working on a story about a moment in Lakers’ history and she wanted to fea...
Don’t Be A Dream Hoarder
19 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
There is a type of parent out there. Career-wise, they are killing it. They have a good marriage to an income-earning spouse and together they make go...
How Could You Be So Stupid?
18 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you ever hear yourself uttering these words, “How could you have been so stupid?” to your kids—because they just got escorted home by a polic...
Your Kids Will Be Whatever You Make Them
17 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Edith Enger’s son was born with athetoid cerebral palsy. A diagnosis like this would be scary whenever one gets it, but getting it decades ago w...
Are You Teaching Them Gratitude?
14 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Your kids should be grateful. Not to you and mom, of course, you’re just doing your job. You’re legally and biologically obligated. Your kids shou...
You Can Be a Dad Anywhere
13 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When we think teacher, we think classroom. When we think leader, we think the corner office or the lectern or a general in front of their troops. But ...
Help, But Don’t Make Them Helpless
12 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
There is so much to do. Your kids have to be dressed. They have to eat. They have go to school. They have to do well in school. They’ll need jobs. T...
Here’s Where To Be A Competitive Parent
11 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Way too many parents are competitive. They see the car their neighbor is driving and they want to get a better one. They hear that a friend’s kid go...
Blame Yourself—Or No One
10 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A few weeks ago, there was a fascinating piece about the controversial NFL receiver Antonio Brown. Of course, anything about Antonio Brown is fascinat...
Your Expectations Are A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
07 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The writer Thomas Sowell once noted, sardonically, how sad it is that editions of Frederick Douglass’s memoirs, when provided for high school studen...
What’s The Contract You Have With Your Kids?
06 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In 2009, after winning two National Championships as the head coach of the Florida Gators football team, Urban Meyer stunned the nation by announcing ...
Don't Wait To Be Proud
05 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a story as old as fatherhood itself. The son or daughter kills themselves to win the approval of their dad, which never seems to come. There is...
You’re Too Old To Act Out
04 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When our kids mess up we say: Aren’t you a little old for that? And we have all sorts of rules of thumb for what things are age appropriate or not—...
How To Teach Them This Essential Value
03 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Pretty much every parent wants to raise kids who turn out to be good people. Almost no father thinks: I’d love for my son to be rich, but awful. Or ...
Get Rid of Your Preconceived Notions
31 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
One of the things Napoleon advised his generals against was “forming a picture” of the battle. What he meant was that your preconceived notions, y...
You Must Engage With The Slime
30 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Rules and regulations are important. A child needs to learn what behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not. They need structure and guidance. Th...
Don’t Baby Them When It Comes to Books
29 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It’s interesting to think about the steady decline in expectations for our kids when it comes to reading. Sure, we want them to be able to read earl...
Teach them Early Where Their Value Lies
28 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The ancient writer—and father—Plutarch tells us of a parenting strategy he discovered in the works of Plato. “Young people must be taught from c...
You Are Not A Babysitter
27 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The late ESPN broadcaster—and father of two girls—Stuart Scott, was once sitting in a restaurant with some friends and their respective children. ...
You Will Want A Crowded Table
24 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Right now, you’re thinking about what all the other parents are doing. What schools they’re getting their kids into. What the best strollers are. ...
What Do You Think You Look Like When You’re Anxious?
23 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A couple weeks ago, we talked about the sobering exercise of trying to observe other people getting upset or losing their temper at their kids. Nothin...
This Is Good Advice For Your Kids
22 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We’ve talked before about David Epstein’s wonderful book Range, which advises against premature specialization—in athletes, in kids, in intelle...
Just Listen. Just Listen. Just Listen.
21 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ted Williams was not a good father. We’ve written about this before, but it bears restating for our purposes here that while he was the greatest hit...
You Have To Be Flexible
20 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When you read parenting books, it’s hard not to get the distinct sense that there is a right way to parent. That being a dad (or a mom) means follow...
How Many Times Have You Been Told?
17 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
You’ve told them a million times. You told them why they need to study before their test, and they didn’t and they came home with a D. You told th...
You Are Capable of Change
16 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ted Williams was not a good father—at least not for most of his life. He was a great baseball player, but for a long time, he was a really selfish a...
Nobody Is Better Than Your Kids
15 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The great physicist Richard Feynman had a father who instilled his brilliant son with an interesting perspective about the world. Sitting down, he wou...