TDS Time Machine | Produce Pete with Steve Carell
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What fresh produce tips does Produce Pete share?
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Let's take a quick trip to our local green grocer, Produce Pete Steve Carell, with the latest fruit and vegetable news.
Thanks, John. Last week, I showed you how to turn fresh avocados into racamole, the in-your-face corn chip compliment. Unfortunately, when you're out of avocado, it's the pits, the avocado pits. The large pit, about the size of a healthy adult testicle, will grow into a great house plant. I always need plants around my house because my cat, Mr. Boots, is very territorial. All you do is insert three toothpicks like so, and balance it in a hyacinth vase with the root end submerged.
How can you grow an avocado plant at home?
Now, you keep it out of direct sunlight, and it'll sprout in about four to six weeks. I put one aside about two months ago, so let's take a look.
That doesn't appear much different then. Actually, it kind of looks like it's dying. Oh, damn it, Mr. Boots. Jesus Christ. God forbid I should have any nice plants, right? Well, if you want to see what a healthy avocado plant looks like, go to my website, www.pdeucep-esquirell.tv. And there's a picture of one along with the usual assortments of recipes and tips. And ignore the link for Mr. Boots' thought of the day. That's going to be taken down real soon. That's all for now. Until next time, remember, leafy greens preempt cancerous growths.
Let's check in with Produce Pete Steve Carell with a very special Thanksgiving edition.
Thanks, John. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and this pilgrim is feeling pretty proud of his succotash. Now, it sounds funny, but it tastes... All right. It's a traditional soup made of corned beef, fowl, and salt pork. Yummy yum. Add some turnip, potato, and boiled beans. Now make sure your turnip is a green-topped turnip. You can use a purple top and a pinch, but under no circumstances should you ever use a yellow rutabaga. I don't recommend it there, pilgrim.
I know some of you think I'm some kind of joke, but you know, you use a yellow rutabaga and you will ruin the succotash. You will ruin Thanksgiving. I've ruined a few.
I'm not a, I'm not a joke.
Many people are searching, in fact, for that perfect holiday recipe. Well, our own Produce Pete is here to help.
Greetings, food eaters. Sometimes I'm faced with a challenge of what to serve my vegan friends when entertaining for the holidays. Now, vegans don't eat meat or any animal products, and it can be a ho-ho pain in the ass. Now, my vegan friend Brianna and her life partner Jordan have served me lots of strange vegetables up at their commune, like fiddleheads, New Zealand spinach, and chard. Mm. charred. So this year I'm going exotic with Steve's nut and seed loaf. It's actually very easy. All you need is eight ounces bulgur wheat, two cups boiling water, three tablespoons shoyu, six ounces pistachio nuts shelled. That might take you a little bit of time. Six ounces pine kernels, eight ounces blanched almonds.
I believe that means you soak it in something. Six ounces of cashew nuts, hazelnuts, pumpkin seeds. You have got to be kidding. You know what? Why don't we just flash those ingredients up on the screen? Got that? Good. Now, hopefully you're taping this and you'll just freeze that screen. You know what? Let's just flash the preparation instructions for you as well. It's just that easy. My nut and seed loaf is a tasty treat for your vegan friends, and it serves one to two people. Now, remember, the important thing is you gotta be flexible. If you don't have two rounded tablespoons of buckwheat flour, throw in a couple of eggs. They're never gonna know. While you're at it, throw in some bacon bits. Everybody loves bacon.
Have fun, and remember the secret ingredient to vegan cooking is love. It's gotta be love, because it sure as hell is in flavor. Happy holidays!
Thanks, John. Aloha, friends. Produce Pete Steve Carell. Which is Hawaiian for today, I, Produce Pete Steve Carell, can or will have disgust pineapple. This beloved fruit is a favorite July 4th picnic refresher that's wonderful served whole or sliced and cooked on the grill with ham steaks.
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Chapters
4 chaptersSpeakers
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