How To Forgive When They’re Not Sorry | It’s Not a Principle Unless It Costs You Something
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How can I forgive someone who never apologizes?
Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. How to forgive when they're not sorry. It would be nice if they got it. If they understood why they did it, how they hurt us, what it meant to us. And maybe they will someday. But in the meantime, are you gonna keep carrying around that pain, keep burning with resentment, keep waiting unfulfilled? You don't control whether they understand what they did, the Stoics would say. You don't control if someone is really sorry or if they feel bad. You know what you do control? You control whether or not you understand them. You control whether or not you feel bad.
You control whether or not you forgive and move on. It's been said that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, and this is exactly right. It's a transaction that in the best case scenario involves both parties. But truly only requires What?
Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoke Podcast. When people think business, when people think capitalism, they don't tend to think justice. If anything, we we tend to lay at capitalism's feet all the injustices of the world. Exploitation, greed, pollution, corruption. It's true, these things are part of the history of business. They're part of the global commerce system right at this very moment. But at the same time, I have found running Daily Stoke, which is a business, as a fascinating opportunity to apply these very ideas. As as a business owner, you have choices. Are you gonna cut corners? Are you gonna externalize negative consequences that maybe aren't illegal but aren't great for the world?
Do you just tell yourself, oh, this is what everyone is doing, this is how the game is played? Or are you gonna operate with integrity, with values? Are you gonna do things that sometimes aren't in your best financial interests, but are how you would wanna be treated as a customer, as a human being? One of the things about being a business owner is that You're no longer on the sidelines. You decide what people get paid. You decide what raw materials to use. You decide what vendors to use. You decide what platforms to use. You decide where to sell your things and not sell your things. You decide what to price your things at. You decide even in the most basic Customer service exchanges, right? How are you going to treat someone?
And we get this at Daily Stoke all the time. You get an angry customer as being fundamentally unkind. How do you treat them in return? So that's what I want to talk about in today's episode. How justice applies to business.
What can I actually control when dealing with hurt and resentment?
Because if it doesn't apply to business, what good is this virtue, right? The whole point of Stoic philosophy is it's a thing that you apply whatever it is that you're doing wherever you are doing it. If justice was only in politics, if justice was only the law, if justice was only for activists, then it would be letting the rest of us off the hook, right? If justice is just something we hold big, enormous corporations that employ thousands or hundreds of thousands of people. Well that again, we're letting ourselves off the hook. But it's not about us. It's not about them. It's about us. And in today's episode, I am talking to Cody Sanchez, who is a investor, entrepreneur. You've probably seen her YouTube videos or her stuff on social media.
She was formerly at Goldman Sachs and Vanguard, and now she buys and builds And invests in Main Street businesses. And she wrote a really good book published by the same publisher that I have called Main Street Millionaire. And in today's episode, we're talking about ownership and business and entrepreneurship as a moral test, how being close to the people on both sides of the exchange affects and should impact your business decisions. And as I say in the episode, not that I'm the originator of this expression. But it's not a principle unless it costs you Money, right? Unless it costs you something. So, how does that apply to business? The stoic virtues are meant for real life.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
How can I forgive someone who never apologizes?
0:00–3:18
2
What can I actually control when dealing with hurt and resentment?
3:18–8:23
3
Why does justice matter in business and entrepreneurship?
8:23–13:19
4
How do small‑business owners balance profit with ethical choices?
13:19–17:09
5
When does a principle become real only if it costs me something?
17:09–27:46
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The Daily Stoic
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