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Chapter 1: What lessons did Marcus Aurelius learn from Antoninus Pius?
Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. How does a boy of aristocratic but decidedly non-royal bloodlines become not just the most powerful man in the world, not just the emperor of Rome, but become such a great man of history?
How does this absolute power given to him at a relatively young age not make him awful? How does he manage not just to be corrupted by his privilege and his fame and his influence, but managed to prove himself worthy of the responsibility? It was his adopted father that made Marcus Aurelius the person that he became.
And we know this because at the end of his life, Marcus Aurelius sits down and writes what he learned from Antoninus. And it's an impressive, beautiful, inspiring list. And that's what's going to be the through line of today's video. As I said, Marcus Aurelius is not born to be the emperor, but he catches the notice of Hadrian, then the emperor of Rome.
But Hadrian, knowing that he doesn't have much time left and thinking that Marcus Aurelius is too young, understands that he has to come up with a guardian to help and teach Marcus Aurelius what he needs to learn. So Hadrian adopts an older Roman senator named Antoninus Pius IV. on the condition that he in turn adopt Marcus Aurelius.
And it is this influence that is the foremost guide to Marcus Aurelius' great life. The first thing that Marcus Aurelius says he learned from Antoninus was compassion. And that's not a trait common with most Roman emperors, but it is in fact why Hadrian chose Antoninus in the first place.
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Chapter 2: How does compassion shape leadership in ancient Rome?
We're told that Hadrian is looking out over the Forum and he watches Antoninus help his elderly father-in-law up a flight of stairs. And Hadrian is struck by the compassion, the kindness, the gentleness. And it's part of what makes him think that Antoninus could be the person to do this unusual thing.
And this would have been a particularly powerful image for the Romans because part of the founding Roman myth involves Aeneas fleeing Troy, carrying his father. I just take it to mean that Antoninus had a good heart. He wasn't mean, he wasn't cruel, he wasn't aggressive, he wasn't domineering. There was still goodness and kindness in him.
And we actually know of Antoninus directing this towards Marcus Aurelius specifically, Marcus Aurelius' crime. He's just been told that his favorite teacher has died. And one of the stoic philosophers says to Marcus, we don't do that. That's not how this works. Get a hold of yourself. And Antoninus, overhearing this, intervenes. He says, let the boy be human for once.
He says, empire doesn't take away natural feeling.
Chapter 3: What impact did Antoninus have on Marcus Aurelius's character?
And so here is a moment of grace. He probably understood that Marcus Aurelius was shamed and embarrassed. He probably understood this is a young man going through something difficult. And here we have Antoninus extending compassion and understanding and empathy. And what a powerful thing that was to give Marx to us in that specific example, but also to imbue in him as a future leader.
Although Antoninus is not explicitly described as a philosopher, he is a lowercase p philosophical person. He sees the big picture. He's calm and measured. And Marcus Aurelius says that Antoninus honors those who were true philosophers, and yet he wasn't snooty and condescending or dismissive of those who pretended to be philosophers, nor was he easily misled or intimidated by them.
I think it's important that we see the study of philosophy as critical to the good life. And it's a pursuit that we have to undergo all of our lives. Musonius Rufus, the teacher of Epictetus, would say that every king needs to be a philosopher, but every philosopher needs to be a kingly person. Ultimately, Antoninus was a kingly person and a philosophical person.
And it was that example that was incredibly powerful for Marcus Aurelius to see in action. That he was both reflective and... in the arena.
We're told by Marcus Aurelius's biographer, Frank McLynn, that Antoninus has a liberal attitude towards education, that he thought people should have a broad basis in the humanities, not just masters of their disciplines, but also well-versed in politics, the problems of state. So Antoninus is not a bookworm. He's not a bookish nerd. He's not a pen and ink philosopher.
He's active and attentive to the world around him. When Mark Strelitz talks about throwing away his books and focusing on what's in front of him, focusing on being a good man, we can imagine that Antoninus is sort of looking at him and going, hey, buddy, Come focus on this. This is the important thing. I want you to see this.
We can imagine Antoninus being a pragmatic and realistic influence on Marcus Aurelius, showing him the world as it was, not as he wanted it to be. And yet at the same time, not being cynical and negative, but being planted right here in reality. Antoninus was reflective, philosophical, and yet he was also decisive.
We're told from Marcus that Antoninus has this remarkable and unwavering adherence to his decisions. Once he reached a decision, once he made a choice,
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Chapter 4: How does Tom Junod describe his relationship with his father?
There was no hesitation. He took action. And this ability to decide, it's really important. Emerson says we cannot spend the day in deliberation, right? We have to make choices. A leader, a father, an executive,
And yes, even a philosopher and a teacher has to be able to decide, has to be able to make hard decisions, not hem and haw, not be paralyzed, not get in their own head, but make hard choices. Look, unfortunately, most leaders aren't humble and the world would be better if they were a bit humbler. While Hadrian was on his deathbed, he summons Antoninus to come talk to him.
Antoninus pushes back, right? He's not interested in superficial honors, we're told. He's not excited. He's not pumped for this. It wasn't something that he wanted. And we can imagine that Hadrian seeing this little bit of reluctance, and Antoninus was the final confirmation that he made the right decision.
Marcus Aurelius calls out Antoninus' restrictions on acclamations, that he didn't like or want people to flatter him, he didn't want parades, he didn't want honors. He just didn't see this as making him better or more important than anyone else.
And Marcus Aurelius also points out his casual and self-effacing manner around his friends, that he didn't want people treating him differently because of who he was. And we can imagine what a powerful example this was for Marcus Aurelius.
to see once he himself took that power, that it doesn't say anything about you as a person, that ego is the enemy, that you are still a human being, that you shouldn't be stained purple, as Marx really says, by the power and position and wealth that you have. One of the things that Marcus Aurelius takes from Antoninus that he could not have possibly taken from Hadrian was his open mind, right?
His willingness to be criticized or to change his mind. Marcus Aurelius liked the way that Antoninus would listen to anyone who could contribute to the public good. He would listen to people he disagreed with. He would listen to people who didn't like him. He would listen to anyone who had a good idea.
Hadrian, on the other hand, was famous for bullying people into agreeing with him, to not criticizing him, to even falling prey to his reality distortion field. There's a famous exchange between Hadrian and one of his advisors where the advisor admits that Hadrian is right, even though he's not. And when a friend says, why'd you do that?
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Chapter 5: What complexities arise from loving a flawed father?
The man says, I think you forget. The person who controls 50 legions is always correct. This is not how Antoninus thinks about being emperor, and it's a lesson he passes on to Marcus Aurelius. To be humble, yes, and then to keep an open mind and to learn from anyone who can teach him. There were some Roman emperors that were lazy, that were entitled, that basically didn't do the job.
Tiberius retreats to this pleasure palace on an island. Nero preferred reciting poetry and only the fun, glamorous parts of the job. But Antoninus, we're told that he manages his food and fluid intake, so he'd have to spend less time exercising, less time on bathroom breaks. He wanted to be focused. He wanted to be in tip-top shape. He wanted to be in service. of the empire.
He wanted to be able to physically and mentally do the job. And when Marcus Aurelius talks about rising early, working hard, doing what his nature demands, that work ethic is something he saw reflected in Antoninus for two decades. And this is so easy for hardworking people to do. Antoninus doesn't neglect his health. He doesn't abuse himself.
So basically, by eating healthy and taking good care of himself, he was setting himself up for success. He was taking good care of himself so people wouldn't have to take care of him. It's a terribly inefficient shortcut that we take. We neglect sleep. We neglect taking care of ourselves. We neglect going to the doctor or the dentist because we don't have the time.
And what this does is create problems that ultimately take a lot of time from us. I don't know if you've ever done any live shopping, but it's blowing up. And some of the kids, I don't know if I call them kids, but some of the Gen Z kids on my staff had to tell me about it. They really love it because you can find vintage stuff and collectible stuff.
I was looking at some videos of people selling vintage band tees and records and watches. And it's real people selling. Like if you're going to an estate sale or a really cool, trendy shop, not, you know, overpriced stuff, not produced stuff.
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Chapter 6: How does Tom's father's behavior influence his own life choices?
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Chapter 7: What insights does Tom provide about masculinity and moral injury?
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probably more than mark surrealist antoninus was a people person and we can imagine that's not an easy thing to do when you have the power of life and death over other people but antoninus took this seriously he didn't want things to change between him and his friends he didn't want people to be intimidated by him he didn't want his power and success to come at the expense of relationships
And these relationships are work, and it's work that philosophers didn't do often enough. And I think we can see in Marcus Aurelius learning from Antoninus the importance of being social, of being kind. Actually, the very first thing that Marcus Aurelius says that he learns from Antoninus when he mentions it in Meditations
that Antoninus never exhibited rudeness, lost control of himself, or turned violent, that he never expected his friends to keep him entertained at dinner or to travel with him, and that anyone who had to stay behind to take care of something always found him the same when he returned. Despite all of Antoninus' success and influence, he didn't just remain humble. It didn't corrupt him.
It didn't go to his head. And I mean this in both senses. One, there's an exchange we have about Antoninus and his wife. His wife is sort of marveling at how powerful and important they become. And Antoninus says, actually, it's the opposite. We've now lost all of our success and wealth. He was saying, like, this belongs to the Roman people now. He was saying we have to be beyond reproach.
We can't indulge ourselves.
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Chapter 8: How can we learn from the legacy of our fathers?
We can't be reckless. Not only was Antoninus not into big, you know, sort of aggrandizing, flattering sycophancy, but he tried to be a good steward of the budget. Like he tried to understand that there were more important things than his ego.
Marx really says that he admired the way that Antoninus kept public actions within reasonable bounds, games, building projects, distributions of money, and so on. And that he looked to what needed doing and not the credit to be gained from doing it. He wasn't slapping his name on buildings. He wasn't asking people to make art dedicated to him.
It wasn't about him because he knew he wasn't special. And he knew that having statues and parades, it didn't reflect on you. Who you were, what you did is what reflected on you. When Marx really says self-reliance always, he was thinking of Antoninus' simple and straightforward and no-nonsense attitude and approach.
I think Marcus Aurelius describes this quite well when he says that you could have said of him, as they say of Socrates, that Antoninus knew how to enjoy and abstain from the things that most people find it hard to abstain from and all too easy to enjoy. He had strength, perseverance, and self-control in both areas, the mark of a soul in readiness indomitable."
And that Marcus says when he had nice things and it was appropriate, he enjoyed them. And when he didn't have them, he didn't miss them. And this kind of humility and straightforwardness is something that Marcus really tries to model in his life. When a plague hits Rome and Rome is devastated and overwhelmed, when Rome had financial problems or military problems, who did Marcus Aurelius turn to?
He turned to the experts, turned to his advisors, and he learns this from Antoninus. As Marcus Aurelius says, he had a single-mindedness, he was never content with first impressions, and he never broke off the discussion prematurely. He knew that he had to balance this expert advice against competing experts. He had to ask probing questions.
It was his job to find out what really mattered, what was really the best course of action. And again, this is very different than the emperors who thought they were anointed by or ordained by God, that every thought they had in their head was genius or brilliant or obviously right, and who intimidated other people into telling them what they wanted to hear.
What Antoninus did that far too few leaders do is he took responsibility. He said, hey, the buck stops with me. He stepped up. He saw that leadership was a responsibility. It was a burden, right? That's what Marx really says he learns from Antoninus, a willingness to take responsibility and blame. for the empire's needs, for the treasury.
He didn't think that this was the future's problem or that this was to be blamed on the past. He said, hey, I'm in charge right now. This is my job. I'm going to do my best. And that really inspires Marcus. And it's always good to see people in positions of responsibility being responsible, right?
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