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Chapter 1: What makes Jason Benetti one of MLB's funniest broadcasters?
This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
James Harden in three elimination games this season, seven for 27 from the field, one for 17 from three. They're going to give him more money. Woof. Woof. We've told you before that Jason Benetti is as good as anyone who is broadcasting games of any kind, not just baseball games.
And we wanted to bring him in to see if we could get a discounted rate for charity on sneaking catchphrases into a broadcast. I'm told that Boog was able to do one of these this weekend. He's going off script. We have not... Do I have to pay for this? I told him I'd give him $1,000 for a Hee Haw 3 to his... ALS charity, but he's not doing it when he's supposed to do it.
He's just doing it whenever he wants to.
You know, the plate umpire will drop his signature like, hee-haw, three, or whatever. Is that the same when he's just doing it part of conversation? He didn't actually do the call.
And he didn't say, but that's right. He didn't say the bidet up. So I think I only have to give $400 instead of a thousand dollars. Yeah. Yeah.
Just take the money from the charity for sure.
Yeah. I think, well, you got to honor, you got to honor the cash.
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Chapter 2: How does Jason incorporate catchphrases into his broadcasts?
Boog will do it three or four times. Benetti will do all 60 of them. Like I, I genuinely fear he'll bankrupt me. Um, uh, Here he is right now, and he's smiling the entire time. We have sent him a list of the catchphrases. How many of these do you think you could do during a broadcast?
Nothing says, yeah, Jason, go do this, like hazing boog coming into the segment for doing it wrong. Yeah, it's super welcoming. I'm very happy to do it. No, it sounds like fun. But there seem to be a lot of parameters. Like, does it have to be the exact tonality? Do I have to do it in the same cadence? I just want to know what the rules are before we embark on this.
Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. But it's hee-haw three, bidet up is the whole phrase. You got to do the whole phrase. Let's play for Benetti all of the catchphrases and see how many he thinks he might be able to do.
Number 60, I'm Fullerton Vern Fuller. 59, where's my click click? 58, hey butterfinger. 57, 56, Scranton. 55, I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 54, Georgia, Georgia. 53, I'm the kind of guy that, 52, ballin' the jack. 51, hey, hey, we're the monkeys, baby. 50, thank you, Billy. 49, I love him like a pet. 48. Who made it a salad? 47. We're rolling now, huh? 46. Your brain beating me. 45.
Let's go states. 44. Driver comfort is paramount. 43. Dummy up. Save up. 42. Catch as catch can. 41. Doesn't make it right. 40. So on and so forth. 39.
Very good.
38. The Little League Theory. 37. Nice hat, asshole. 36. The others, they all learn from me. 35. Don't go showering to try to please me. 34. Look at that jerk. 33. It's like a packing house in here. 32. What'd you learn? 31. Hee-haw! Top three, ba-dap. 30, I'm not going to take a quiz. 29, sassafras. 28, would we break a window? 27, hello. 26, who won? 25, trailers for sale or rent.
24, you got to eat a peg of dirt before you die. 23, three words, we are the Lobos. And now, 22, you're going to go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmelee. And number 21, rappy-cack.
So this is why I think the tone matters. Like if you're going to get me at the Dollar Tree rate, which you seem to be interested in, I think one of the things that we have to agree on is if I nail the tone, that's a double your money sort of red, white and blue three point contest ball situation.
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Chapter 3: What are the unique qualities of Jacob Misiorowski as a pitcher?
I fear this man. This man... can cost me a lot of money. How many do you think you can do?
So how many were there? They're like 35, something like that. 40. I can, I can do, I can do a hundred of them. No, it's no, but here's the thing. The one that includes the word asshole is probably a no for me. I just have to say, uh, but I do have a message. What's that? There's no dump button on your network. There is there. You know what? There's there is a dump button.
It's called Jason loses one of his two jobs. It's exciting. We like using that one. Some people really like using that one. And I will say Boog does have a message for you, Dan, that he sent me. It's I wasn't told that there were rules to this. So I, you know.
I didn't know you had a Boog Shambi in your repertoire. I didn't know that.
You know, it's fine. But I thought we were friends. So here's the thing about Boog and the charity, though. I don't know that Boog has told you this. Boog and I are doing a joint. We're doing a joint charity item that's going to air on his show. It's called Dinner With Us. Because who wouldn't want to have dinner with us?
boog at me right the hubris is part of the package uh so you're gonna bid on having dinner with us but you can also put in an extra dollar amount bid to to bring a third person along with us and and that dollar amount has to hit the level that that
person whoever that is that celebrity if you want barack obama to be at dinner with us you better you better bid and we'll go try and get him so so there's an extra bid of can we get this person like they somebody could put in like dan levitard and can we get him to dinner with us and they'd have to bid what like 50 60 million dollars
Well, you guys are like friends with Eddie Vedder and stuff. So that's a really big prize like that. You guys can actually get somebody giant to be at that dinner. But I'd like to recreate that. Just let's play with this for a second. I'm sitting next to fake boog at dinner. Can we go ahead and recreate what that sounds like as you're looking at the menu and the pecan encrusted tilapia?
Well, can you first ask me where I'm staying, what hotel I'm staying at for the dinner with us?
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