Chapter 1: What awkward moment happens at the start of the show?
Look at this guy. Oh boy! And there's Miami.
How is the placement of the... You gotta move it down a little bit.
Might want one for the belly button, too.
No, you look great. You want to give me a couple of them just so that the internet's not clogged forever? All three of them? Yes, just anything that helps me here. Oh, boy.
Oh, man. Are we live? Are we doing this? Yeah. Man, gravity is doing its thing.
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Chapter 2: How does JuJu Gotti respond to the show's previous episodes?
Is that what you think Don Bailey does on the front?
Oh, boy, he got a booty in the front, don't he?
You look like David Hasselhoff eating a burger. I think you guys should be saving all of this for air.
It's where we are. Sorry, I just had like 14 crackers. You'll see why in a second. Welcome, Juju, to the post-game show.
Not trying to look at that. Thank you. Well, what in the hell do y'all got going on down there?
Why? What's happening? Greg, you see how this is done? Greg doesn't have his headphones on, but look at this, Greg.
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Chapter 3: What are the top 5 people who should have gotten more headlines?
What do you think of what Dan's doing right now? Tremendous.
Greg Cody produced this. Thank you. It was my idea. I got to give myself credit.
Greg, there's a semi-naked Dan Levitard in the studio.
Greg, you've been pretty unusually terrible today, even by your standards. Thank you. I'm nude on the floor doing what you wouldn't do, and you don't know that you're just supposed to talk when the microphone is in front of you, and we're throwing the show to you.
Yeah. You know, I can't believe you don't think that I have any lines that I draw. Like, I'm just going to do anything. And everything? No, I'm sorry. I mean, you know, you're a better man than me. Also a bigger man.
What's your assessment of what you're looking at?
I'd rather not look at it, if I'm being perfectly honest. I mean, I'm trying to shield myself here. I got blinders on. I borrowed blinders from one of my racehorses, and I have them on so I don't have to look to my left.
Juju, you're not a Miami guy, so do you recognize what Dan is doing here?
No, but I do recognize that my boy got a booty in the front.
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Chapter 4: What humorous commentary is made about Dan's appearance?
Because I've seen you before. You've occasionally subjected yourself to this. That's all right. I shave my chest. That's what's going on here. It's a good look.
YouTube, Levitard and Friends. You want to see it? Audio experience is something that you usually are confined to. If you've always been dying to see what I look like if I were Burt Reynolds on a bearskin rug or Don Bailey Sr. on a carpet billboard, this is what it would look like. Juju, do we have any other criticisms for me today that aren't just body shaming?
Yes. Yesterday on the show, we had the illustrious edge on the show. So I had to skip my observations of what you was doing yesterday. But yesterday, your mama said, I don't want the camera on me. She shooed you away. And you talk about I override my mom. Excuse me, sir. She brought you into this world. You know what she can do? Take you right up on out of here. You did.
So we got to throw Miss Laura this a little bit more respect than we do on camera. Damn right.
Okay. Fair criticism. I also called her a communist for rooting for Fernando Mendoza and was generally disrespectful. I'm sorry, Mom.
Thank you, brother.
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Chapter 5: How does the discussion shift to the topic of manscaping?
Also, I don't think that Jason Taylor is afraid of Mario Cristobal, in my opinion. I've seen that brother on the defensive line. You said Jason Taylor is afraid of Mario Cristobal. I don't think so. I think it's a mutual friendship there. Mike?
I think everybody's afraid of Mario Cristobal. That works for Mario Cristobal. Like a little tinge. Maybe not even one that you would publicly admit. But yeah, everybody's a little afraid of Mario Cristobal.
Also, yesterday's segment with Domino, oh my goodness. Chef's kiss, bruh. That was some fun TV there, bruh. But during the segment, you said that Domino is the Cuban that you thought Tony was. Come on, bruh. You can't talk to folks like that, man.
He is though. I thought Tony would be wearing wrestling tights around here being even more prodigiously Cuban than he is. That's not a disrespect. What's the disrespect in that?
Hey, Touche, you don't see it, I don't see it. Also, please do know that that shot that we just saw with Dan Levitard will be on LevitardAF.com on plenty of t-shirts, every color you want ASAP, coming to a theater near you. No one's going to post that on the internet, right? Wait a minute, why are my Emmys there? I think they're hiding that booty, dude.
But the number one thing from yesterday, bro, we need to stop speeding up the illustrious Diana Rossini, man. Hats off to Diana for taking up for herself, standing up for herself, because I don't like how we be speeding folks up. The guests. These guests got 30 minutes.
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Chapter 6: What are the criticisms directed at Dan during the postgame?
They got 20 minutes. Look, man, I'm going to do them at my pace. I got good juice for you. You talking about speed it up. Come on, man.
That's really good feedback. We could have been better.
I could have been. I could have been. And I called her after the show to tell her that and apologize to her. So good criticism, Juju.
Yeah, you were so terrible to the point where she had to say, fine, it's your show. That's never good.
Also, something from yesterday that I think requires Judge Zazz's ruling on because we got a big case pending right now. Yesterday during the show, Dan's mother said that Dan is not Cuban. Judge Zazz. All rise. The Honorable Jonathan Zazzlo now presiding with prejudice.
My dad, my dad was an embarrassment yesterday. Like, I can't believe I'm not Cuban. I'm not Cuban.
Is Dan Labattard a legit Cuban? No es cubano. You're not guilty.
Prejudice. I like it. Tio Zaz has ruled.
No es cubano.
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Chapter 7: How does the conversation address Dan's Cuban identity?
Them boys took down the champs in Philly, man. Brock Purdy, I see you, brother. Number two, being the Don Johnson, man. My boy called his shot, man. He came on and said, look, I don't like the Packers, man. I don't like to stand on it. And here's your dap. Take your dap with your bat to Green Bay. I like what Ben Johnson doing, man. Ben the Don Johnson is great.
And number one, brother, Keyshawn Nixon, Compton, California. Defensive back from the Packers, he had a chance to tackle DeAndre Swift on the goal line, backed out of it. You know how the NFL do what they write, so we can't show that video. But he backed away instead of trying to tackle or punch the ball out. Man, we don't respect that over here, bro. Still a legend, but come on, bro.
Juju, I see the jersey you're rocking. What do you think if Ja Morant takes his talents to South Beach?
Yeah, I mean, I think it's locked, signed, sealed, and delivered. I'm wearing this jersey right now because this is my last chance to wear this, and it actually is real. This is the last time I will be able to wear this Ja Morant Grizzlies jersey, and he's on the Grizzlies. I think my boy is actually sent to the heat already. Did you see after the three-pointer that Bam hit last night?
He did Ja Morant celebration.
Yeah, but juju. Bam did the John Morant celebration, and then he had spit hanging from his chin, and that's total oral loss. That's oral loss.
You're right, bro. I believe, bro. Because when I saw it, I was like, ugh.
That was a loogie. He was celebrating. He was doing John Morant's celebration, and as he spit accidentally, it got caught in his goatee, and it was a large amount of spit.
Hell yeah, bruh.
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Chapter 8: What polls and audience feedback are shared at the end?
Right. Can you imagine coaching Lamar Jackson and then being enamored with Quinn Ewers? 87% of the audience says no, they can't imagine that. And those are your polls for today.
You don't have to imagine this, ladies. It's right here for you. Jesus.
No. No. I seriously can't even look.