Show notes
π§ Listen to this episode ifβ¦ π You've left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. π§ You're trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. π¬ You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. πͺ You're ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. πΈ You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. π« You just need to hear that full recovery is possible β οΈ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. π Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. Leaving an abusive relationship doesn't mean the pain or confusion stops overnight. In this heartfelt episode, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krazi Kirova, who specialises in trauma recovery and emotional abuse. Together, they explore what happens after you leaveΒ the emotional crash, the exhaustion, and eventually, the glow-up. You'll learn what the research says about post-separation abuse, why healing takes time, and the eight key stages of recovery every survivor eventually moves through. Krazi shares powerful, evidence-based insights on rebuilding safety, identity, and connectionΒ and why the "post-divorce glow-up" you see online is about so much more than appearance. If you're in that stage where you feel broken, tired, and unsure of who you areΒ this episode is for you. It's about hope, self-reclamation, and the small steps that slowly lead to peace, power, and joy again. β±οΈ Episode Timeline β The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Healing After Abuse 00:00 β Introduction: Leaving abuse and why the pain doesn't stop overnight 01:00 β Support reminder: Lifeline, 1800 RESPECT, and why safety comes first 02:00 β What keeps you stuck after leaving an abusive partner 03:00 β Why recovery can't begin until you feel physically and emotionally safe 05:00 β The psychological "hurricane" of separation β and why it gets worse before it gets better 07:00 β Understanding post-separation abuse and coercive control 09:00 β How predictability helps survivors regain power and calm 11:00 β How courts are improving in recognising coercive control and trauma 12:00 β The physical and emotional depletion from years of abuse 13:00 β The "post-divorce glow-up" β and why your energy eventually returns 17:00 β How long does it really take to heal after abuse? 18:00 β What research says about recovery β it's not linear 19:00 β The 8 key tasks for healing and recovery 20:00 β Step 1: Establishing safety β physical, emotional, and financial 22:00 β Step 2: Educating yourself and re-examining the relationship 25:00 β Step 3: Rebuilding identity β remembering who you are 29:00 β Step 4: Rebuilding social connections and support networks 32:00 β Step 5: Being selective about who you let in β healthy relationships only 33:00 β Step 6: Taking time before dating again 35:00 β Step 7: Embracing freedom, autonomy, and decision-making 38:00 β Step 8: Accepting recovery as a process β patience and self-kindness 42:00 β Courts and trauma-informed change in the family law system 44:00 β Step 9: Healing mentally and physically β reconnecting with your body 46:00 β The power of community, spirituality, and belonging in recovery 47:00 β Final reflections: "It's a journey β and you are getting somewhere." Resources Mentioned: 𧩠Kirova Psychology β Personal Resources https://kirovapsychology.com.au/personal-resources/ Β π Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist π» The Divorce Course Free Resources https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Related Episodes: ποΈ Is It Emotional Abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11 Is it emotional abuse?Β https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg Β Divorcing an abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g ποΈ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew Β ποΈ When Mediation Goes Wrong (And What You Can Do Next) https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv ποΈ The Narcissist Playbook https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK Β π¨ Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT β Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 β Crisis Support Police β Call 000 if you are in danger β οΈ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. π Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.