Abused, Homeless At 15 - The Brain Expert Who Was Raised In Hell | Nathan Wallis
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Why does the episode begin with a warning about trauma?
Hello and welcome to the Dom Harvey Podcast, sponsored by the Generate KiwiSaver Scheme. This episode needs to come with a warning. The guest speaks openly about some of the trauma of his own childhood, including alcoholism and physical and sexual abuse. It's not an easy listening parts, but it's an important conversation, and listener discretion is advised. Coming up, Nathan.
I think every human being is gonna have ten percent of their life guaranteed is gonna be disgusting. Ten percent of their life guaranteed is gonna be wonderful. You're gonna fall in love. Even the poorest people have an orgasm. You know, ten percent of your life is gonna be joy. And even the most privileged people are gonna have people die. They're not gonna win every race. Ten percent of your life's gonna be miserable, ten percent of your life's gonna be joy. The eighty percent in the middle is a lot to do with your perspective and how you frame things.
Nathan Wallace grew up around alcoholism, violence, abuse and foster care. He was homeless at 15, became a young father, went to counselling at 18, and somehow found his way into teaching, counselling and eventually a career helping people understand how our brains develop. For parents, this episode is jam-packed with good, useful advice. We talk about the importance of the first thousand days, tantrums, anxiety, daycare, discipline, screens, teenagers, social media, uh today's kids' snowflakes and much, much, much more. But this episode also gets into Nathan himself, the man behind the job. We talk about the childhood he survived, the people who saved him, meeting his biological father shortly before he died, and the parts of himself that he is still trying to understand.
It's a great episode, you're gonna love this. Just before we get into it, massive thanks to my long-term podcast sponsor, Generate. Like a lot of Kiwis, I spent years saying, Kiwi Saver, I'll look at that later. Well, here I am, 53. It turns out later comes around faster than you think. And the decisions you make now could be the difference between counting every dollar in retirement or having the freedom to take that trip of a lifetime you've always talked about. I switched my KiwiSaver account to Generate after they came on board and honestly I regret not doing it sooner. They are an award-winning KiwiSaver provider with strong long-term performance. Actually you can check out their latest returns online or you can book a no obligation chat with one of their awesome and friendly advisors at generateKiWisaver.co dot nz forward slash DOM
Uh the all this info is in the show notes, but that address again, generate kiwi saver.co dot nz forward slash dom. No pressure, no judgment, no hard sell, just good advice for wherever you happen to be in your own investing journey. The issue of the scheme is Generate Investment Management Limited. You can view their product disclosure statement and financial advice provider information at generatekeweSaver.co.nz forward slash disclosures. Past performance does not guarantee future returns. And just a reminder, I'm a podcast host, not a financial advisor. This is general information only, and I recommend getting expert advice before making any financial decisions. Thanks Ginrite, love you guys. Okay, here we go.
Nathan Wallace on the Dom Harvey podcast. We start by asking him to explain why his new book was given the title
What is the significance of the book’s title and the “What were you feeling?” question?
What
were you
thinking?
Most teenage boys when you say to them, What were you thinking? they go, Nothing. And yeah, so I'm here to tell you they're telling the truth. They really are thinking nothing. That's the ad that's the adolescent brain. What what is um a better question than what were you thinking? What were you f what were you feeling? Because, you know, your brain, you've got four brains inside your head. The top brain, the frontal cortex, is the logical thinking, you know, sort of adult part of the brain. But under that is the limbic system, the emotional brain. And it takes, you know, anywhere between eighteen and thirty two years to get an adult brain.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does the episode begin with a warning about trauma?
0:00–3:23
2
What is the significance of the book’s title and the “What were you feeling?” question?
3:23–4:46
3
How does Nathan describe his childhood trauma and its impact on his brain?
4:46–6:50
4
Why are the first 1,000 days crucial for a child’s development?
6:50–59:46
5
How do phones, tablets and screens affect young children’s development?
59:46–1:10:06
6
Why do parents feel guilty about childcare and how can they find a balanced approach?
1:10:06–1:30:43
7
What are effective, non‑punitive discipline techniques for toddlers and preschoolers?
1:30:43–1:45:31
8
How can parents build resilience and manage anxiety in today’s kids?
1:45:31–1:58:32
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from The Dom Harvey Podcast
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