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Chapter 1: How did Stace discover she was pregnant by her father?
You found out you were pregnant by your father at what age? You decided to keep the baby? Yeah. How did the abuse escalate? And how did he break your ribs? What a fucking animal. I don't think I've heard anything that nasty or insane in my life. I mean, he belongs in Broadmoor.
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Chapter 2: What were the circumstances surrounding Stace's early childhood in the care system?
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Thank you.
I've got your back throughout this entire story. You've put your story into a book called My Girl. We're going to take a deep dive into this. I know you've done one with James English already. You're in very, very good hands with James as he's no stranger to trauma. Neither am I. So we're going to get further under the bonnet.
I feel morally obligated to share your story or at least help you share your story because... It's about as a horrific story as I've ever heard. So if there's any moments you feel worried, nervous, trepidation, you want to take a break, even if you want to stop, you just say so and it ends there. But I'll be with you, all right? Thank you.
So as a toddler, you entered into the care system and you entered into the care system with... broken bones and bruises. Talk me through that process.
So I lived with my mum and my dad up until I was 18 months old. And then I had bruises on my body and a bite mark under my left eye.
and then I had a broken leg and then the hospital let me out and he picked me up on my birthday and my mum told him not to let me walk on my leg and he did and it re-snapped and because I was crying he took me back to the hospital and they found more bruises on my body so they kept me in hospital.
What were your parents doing to you to end up with broken bones?
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Chapter 3: How did Stace's relationship with her father evolve over the years?
Okay.
It just states non-accidental. That was basically it.
And they just box it off? Yeah, box it off, close it away. And that's that. Were your mum and dad drinkers, drug users?
No, my mum was very timid and my mum has a story of her own which made her really vulnerable to the abuse which later on through my story you'll realise she didn't have the strength to be able to stand up and make better decisions than what she did.
Okay, because the thing we've got in common, which I'm going to let the audience into now so they stay with us, is that you and me have both had our innocence snatched from our biological fathers. Yeah. But your story is a lot worse than mine, so I'm not trying to compare, but just so people can know that we will be able to relate with each other. Yeah.
And so that will tell me then that your mum was a victim of your father as well. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And do you know much about that history?
My mum's told me things and stuff like that, but because there was no conviction around it, I'm not allowed to delve into it.
Okay. But the first 18 months of your life, it's safe to say, were pretty horrific.
Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What was the turning point that led Stace to confront her father?
And then at home, like, I had my own playroom and I'd get something out, but then I'd put it back away, do you know? Like, I just had respect for all my things. And, yeah, it's just, like, they're good. I love to make people proud.
That's nice. I was a complete shit. I went the other way. I was an angry, very angry child through my experiences. But that's interesting to think you went the other way. You become kinder.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is lovely. And then your dad comes back into your life when you're seven.
Yeah.
And so if I recall, you're in a field or in a park and he shouts out, hey, Lulu.
Yeah, so I was in the park at the back of the house. I was never allowed down there, so even though I was in foster care and everything was structured, it was quite strict. I wasn't aware of sleepovers and that, and I wasn't aware of that, so that was from social services, you know, and my protection.
But all my friends were going to the park at the back of the house, so I followed them, and then... I've got this man, he come and tapped me on my shoulder and I just looked up and I just remember this spike here and obviously he was a lot taller than me and I was just like looking up and I thought, stranger danger, do you know, like... And he went, do you know where I am, Lulu?
And I was like... He went, I'm your dad. I was like... And in my head I thought, my dad's at home. Because I knew my foster mum and dad as my mum and dad. And I just ran out of the park thinking this mum was trying to take me.
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Chapter 5: What were the challenges Stace faced during her pregnancy?
Do you remember your foster parents' reaction to that or their thoughts on it?
Vaguely so. I never heard my foster parents argue or anything like that. And I know there was a court case because my mum was trying to get me back to go and live with her. And they were talking about... My dad. And I heard an argument in the kitchen over it, you know, and I think everything just kind of came out of their control, you know, and they really wanted to protect me.
But it was beyond their remit, really, because apparently my mum had the residence order.
Okay. So now I'm going to ask questions that are going to lead us into the very ugly part of your story. So before we... Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
So how did it go from... You seeing your dad through social services to then having the independent relationship, which then led to the grooming, which then led to the rape, and then the other stuff, which is even more horrific.
So when I was 10, I got took out of my foster parents' home and went back to live with my mum. And my mum's partner, he was abusive. He'd hit me with a bell. He'd make me eat cigarettes. I had an eating disorder and he'd put food in front of me that I didn't like and make me sit there watching this food for hours and hours because I literally couldn't swallow it. But he was friends with my dad.
So I lived with them for a while. And then when I was 13... Like my dad was in and out of my life coming to my mum's and then he wouldn't call me and then he'd turn up again. And then when I was 13, my mum's partner said, I'm going to send you to live with him because I know he'll give you what for. So when I was 13, I was sent to live with him.
I lived with him for like nine months and then he battered me, broke my ribs. And then I went back to my mum's and then I ended up moving out again and then going and staying with a friend while I went through college. And then he contacted me.
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Chapter 6: How did Stace cope with the trauma of her past after becoming a mother?
I can still hear these screams in my head to this day. So I've jumped over the back of the settee, I've gone in the room and he's sat up in bed laughing with a fag in his mouth and I just looked at him and I could still hear these screams and I've turned round and... His partner, he'd hid her crutches.
So when she managed to get over to the cot to pick the baby up, the weight of the baby has crushed her legs and she's gone down and he's literally just sat there laughing. So I've had to go on. I've helped her. I've helped her take the baby into the kitchen and I've gone back in for the dummy. And as I've turned around, he's gone loo-loo.
I've turned around and he's cracked me inside of my jaw just for helping her.
See, he hadn't changed a bit.
A bit. He'd got worse.
Because I was going to ask you, did he masquerade? Did he pretend to be a nice person?
No, for the minute I got there, no.
He was overtly horrible.
Yeah. So after that, she managed to get out.
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Chapter 7: What role did the justice system play in Stace's story?
No, because I couldn't comprehend what was going on. They didn't register. And then they gave me a pregnancy test. And so I'm just walking back down the street and stuff. And I walked past Connections to get back to the house. And I went in. And I'm, like, reading the instructions. And I've done this pregnancy test. And it come back. And I'm just walking down the street. I'm like, no, I'm not.
No, I'm not. This isn't real. And then, like, my penny dropped. And that was my reality.
And up until that point, did your dad... warn you not to repeat what was happening in the house outside of the house?
Yeah, I weren't allowed to speak to anyone. I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone. He took over my social media, which was just like my MSN and my college email. And every time I was on MSN, my mum thought I was speaking to her and a couple of my friends thought I was speaking to her. It wasn't me, it was him.
So he didn't try and make you feel like it was normal? He kind of admitted that it was wrong, so it must remain a secret.
No, he didn't admit it was wrong. He turned around and said, because he didn't bring me up. No one will know, and it's not wrong. It's only if he brought me up, as my dad, then it would be wrong. But because he didn't actually bring me up, it's not wrong. So we tried to normalise it.
I've sat opposite a lot of people and not just on the podcast off. I mean, I've actually heard a lot worse from people off of camera because this is a tremendously brave thing to do. I don't think I've heard anything that nasty or insane in my life. I mean, he should be sectioned for the rest of his days. He belongs in Broadmoor, your father. I mean, should I stop referring to him as that?
Obviously, it makes it easier for people to understand that I just call him the man because he was the man from the park and I can't associate with him as that.
So how did you approach the police, knowing that they fouled you in the past? Because that must have been a big decision.
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Chapter 8: How is Stace using her experience to help others today?
It's insane that people have trolled you for that because no one other than you will ever understand the situation. No one. No one's got any right to judge on this one. No one. Ask questions by all means because everyone's going to be curious because it's such a rare case. How did your mum react when you told her that you were pregnant? Or did the police tell her? Or did your dad tell her?
So I told my mum I was pregnant. Well, he actually told my mum I was pregnant. So for me to get back to Oldham, he was to ring my mum. But obviously I knew that the police had already spoken to her. So I was like, please don't say anything, you know, otherwise it's game over here. Luckily she didn't. But... His story to my mum was, I'd gone to the Southend Earthshow.
I'd met a man called John Carson. He got it from the England football players, John Terry and Scott Carson, because it was on telly at the time, and he just put their names together. I'll never, ever forget. I can literally see the TV while I'm sat here. And I've come... I've fallen poorly and I found out I'm pregnant. So can Lulu come and live with you? So my mum's like, yeah.
And obviously my mum had already had the phone call off the police. My mum got rid of her abusive partner as well. So she was like, yeah. So that was like the build up to me getting out.
So your dad still thought he'd be able to keep this a secret and accuse another man of being the father of your child?
Yeah, he was adamant. He told me if I ever spoke out on it, he'd find me and kill me and kill my baby. I had the threats left, right and center. I was feared. I'm still feared of him now and it's been 18 years.
Was there any friends that you had at the time you could confide in?
No.
He completely isolated you?
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