Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
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How can I let go of resentment toward my mother-in-law?
How do I let go of resentment that I feel for my mother-in-law?
Oh, sweet. I say this with all due respect. Your mother-in-law's a cartoon character. So let's be honest about who you're really mad at. Your mother-in-law's bananas. You don't resent bananas. You resent your husband. What in the world's going on? What's up? What is up? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Taking your calls from all over planet Earth about your mental and emotional health, your relationships, whatever you got going on in your life, your kids, your mother-in-law, your friends, your workplace, whatever you got going on in your life. I'm going to sit with you, and we're going to figure out what's the next right move. I'd love to have you on the show. Reach out to johndeloney.com slash ask. There's an internet form, and you can fill it out. You can write as long as you want, and it'll go to Kelly and the gang. she builds the show. And if she picks you, she'll holla back girl at you. And even though she ain't a holla back girl, she'll holla back girl at you. And then we'll be ready to rock and roll.
Love to have you on John Deloney.com slash ask. All right, let's roll out to roll out to Tampa, Florida and talk to Nicole. Hey, Nicole, what's up?
Hi, thank you for taking my phone call.
Of course. Thanks for calling. What's up?
Cool. Um, so, uh, I want to know how do I let go of resentment that I feel toward my mother-in-law?
Oh, sweet. All right. What's going on?
What are the challenges in setting boundaries with a difficult mother-in-law?
Well, you know, it's like to sum her up in one word, I guess I would say she's kind of like a bully. She starts fights with family and her coworkers often. She's disrespected boundaries that my husband and I have set for our kids. She tends to like ruin family events. And vacations, if she has tantrums, like she'll have a tantrum if she doesn't get her way, if we don't want to go along with exactly what she wants to do. So part of me feels like I should just not let it bother me. And it didn't until I had kids. Now that I have kids, I feel like I can't let go of the bad behavior because I don't want it to influence my children. Yeah.
So when you say she blows past you and your husband's boundaries, give me some examples.
So a couple of years ago, we asked, my husband's family, everybody, my family too, but we asked everybody to not feed my kids like a specific thing because she was having some, some gut issues that we needed to figure out. And then it turns out my mother-in-law was feeding her that particular thing. And it really upset me. And then when I talked to her about it, she like screamed at me and yelled at me and said, Oh, other people feed her this stuff, which is not true. She was just trying to deflect, I guess, um, And, like, we've also asked her to not buy our kids as many toys because every time we see her, she's always buying stuff for the kids. We have three kids, and we live in a very small space, and we don't have the room for it. So things like that, like, she just, for some reason, wants to do what she wants to do.
What's your husband's relationship with his mother?
Question. Good question. They're close, but I think... The closeness is more like guilt as opposed to I really want to spend time with my mom. She's single. She's been married multiple times. And I think between him and his sister, they kind of feel like they have to be responsible for taking care of her emotionally, maybe.
What does close mean? Let me say this way. It sounds like you're being coy.
I probably am.
How does my husband's relationship with his mother affect our marriage?
Tell me about the relationship between your husband and his mom.
They talk a lot, but a lot of the, a lot of the conversation is initiated by her. They talk almost every single day, text message, phone calls, sometimes multiple times a day. And that kind of, it shouldn't annoy me, but it annoys me only because I feel like she doesn't have any other, like really like friendships or anything or anybody else to rely on. So she's,
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How can I let go of resentment toward my mother-in-law?
0:22–1:56
2
What are the challenges in setting boundaries with a difficult mother-in-law?
1:56–4:17
3
How does my husband's relationship with his mother affect our marriage?
4:17–7:46
4
What steps can I take to protect my children from an emotionally unstable grandmother?
7:46–23:12
5
How can I support a disabled ex-husband while maintaining my own life?
23:12–25:45
6
What are the emotional impacts of caretaking for an ex-spouse after a stroke?
25:45–30:45
7
How do I balance being a caretaker and pursuing my own happiness and dating life?
30:45–37:25
8
How can I move forward and decide what I want for the next chapter of my life?
37:25–1:00:23