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Chapter 1: How can I move past infidelity in my marriage?
I recently found out that my spouse cheated on me over Mother's Day weekend. You know, he's been super depressed for the past few months. He completely just has been like shut down from our family, from his family, his friends.
Once it all came out in the open, has the light come back on for him? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, coming to you live from Nashville, Tennessee, taking your calls on your marriage, your mental and emotional health, your relationships, whatever you got going on in your life. Pull up a seat.
I'll sit with you, and we will figure out what's the next right move for you and your family. Hey, Kelly, I just got back in town from this big event we did in Florida. And I got to tell you, man, Arthur Brooks was there. Will Gadara was there. Michael Easter was there. There was so many rad folks.
And one of my favorite things on the planet about this weird little glitch in the matrix I have for a job is not only reading these guys' books and getting their sub stacks and all that kind of stuff. but hanging out behind closed doors and realizing what great human beings they are.
Chapter 2: What steps should I take if my spouse is struggling with depression?
So I was watching part of the event because we were live streaming it through here, through the TVs. And when Arthur Brooks came on, it's like my shoulders just drop. I was like, oh, okay, it's Arthur.
Well, when he walks in, everyone goes, it's like... Oh, he's driving now. Cool.
He's in charge.
Yeah.
And everything's fine. And he's so delightful. But I'm going to learn something as well. It's just, like I said, I was like, I walked past the TV and I was like, oh, it's Arthur.
Well, and the biggest nightmare for somebody like Will Gadara is like, okay, he's known as the most hospitable, the owner of the most hospitable restaurant on the planet. But what if he's a jerk? He's the most wonderful human ever.
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Chapter 3: How do I handle feelings of being unattracted to my partner?
And then you got Michael who's like, The single coolest guy on the earth.
Which, by the way, people listening, coming up on our Off the Record, which is our once a month Saturday drop for interviews. Michael Easter's going to be coming up later this summer. And Will Godera's coming up later this summer, too, so there you go.
Yeah, just so cool, man. And Vanessa Van Edwards is rad. I mean, I love getting to meet people behind closed doors, and they're cooler than they are on Instagram.
Are they saying the same thing about you?
Not a chance. They're all going home being like, oh, God, I need a nap.
But hey, out of all of that whole trip y'all took that I didn't get to go on, because for those that don't know, it's one of our different business units we have here in the company that puts this on. What I am by far most insanely jealous about is that the first night we rented out Disney Animal Kingdom and that y'all got to go just our people.
Just no lines.
And you and Dave rode roller coasters.
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Chapter 4: What are effective strategies for dealing with a spouse's alcoholism?
Yes, except people don't know that Dave Ramsey is one of the... The two things that people don't know about Dave are this. Behind closed doors, one of the most insanely... And when I say insanely, I mean insanely generous people.
Oh, by far. People don't even understand the depths of his generosity.
It's wild to be at 2 a.m. in the basement of a hotel trying to find your room and watching him tip people... Like bellhops.
Where's your room in the basement?
In New York. Like you have to go down in the basement and go down across into another hotel and you go. Anyway, I've seen that guy. He's just so generous. And one of the greatest at peer pressure of all time. And so.
That's why you jumped out of an airplane.
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Chapter 5: When is it appropriate to seek couples counseling?
That's why I jumped out. That's why I've done a lot of things. But we didn't ride the roller coaster once. And by the way. Like four times? It got stuck. It got hung up, and we were like, wow, they're really going for it. They're building tension, and it's like, oh, we're past the tension part.
What everyone needs to know is one of John's biggest fears is heights.
So I rode this thing multiple times, and then they were like, let's go on the Avatar ride, which is, by the way, incredible. And about halfway through, I was like, oh, I'm going to vomit everywhere. And so I had to close my eyes and just be like, listen to everybody going, wee, wee. I'm on this little like motorcycle-y thing that's jerking me around. I'm like, dude, I'm going to vomit in here.
And I know Disney has some like hazmat protocol to clean this.
Chapter 6: What boundaries should I set for my partner's behavior?
I'm going to shut this thing down for the park. By the way, that we just reserved. Anyway, I barely made it out of there, dude. I thought it was going to... I thought we were going to see that food I'd eaten earlier. But it was wild. But dude, I love...
Man, when everything feels so dark, I just have to tell you, there are people that you follow on Instagram, that you read their books, that are great, great human beings. They're better in person than they are in real life. So if you can catch some of those folks speaking in your area, please go out and see them. They're the best.
All right, let's roll out to Hartford, Connecticut and talk to Rose. Hey, Rose, what's up?
Hi. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.
Chapter 7: How can I rebuild trust after a betrayal?
I just want to fangirl for like two seconds. So I'm going to do that. Let it rip. No, literally. Honestly, thank you for taking my call today.
Of course. Thanks for calling. What's up?
So, all right. So I'm just going to word vomit this out. So I recently found out that my spouse cheated on me over Mother's Day weekend. Not the best Mother's Day you ever really want to have.
Gosh.
Not good.
Yes.
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Chapter 8: What role does self-care play in a healthy marriage?
Not good. Um, you know, he's been super depressed for the past few months. I've tried, I'm like shaking, talking about it. Um, I've tried, you know, asking him to go to therapy. I've told him to listen to your show. I've told him to maybe talk to some of the guys from the gym.
He completely just has been like shut down from our family, from his family, his friends, like, and then, yeah, I went snooping and I found something that I didn't want to find in my home and And he confessed to the cheating. He pretty much said that he will do whatever he can to make our family work. He is starting therapy this week. You know, it's really hard. He has a son that's six.
I just had my son with him a year ago. So, you know, I just don't want to see our family just fall apart, you know. I did tell him like, if we decide to give this another shot and really put in the work, he needs to be in therapy. That was like my non-negotiable because I told him, I was like, our sons don't deserve to watch a man treat a woman that way.
Like I want our kids to treat people with respect, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah. And if he wants to change, he has to put in the effort because For months, I'm just so tapped out mentally, emotionally, physically. I work at home. I do photography on the side. I take care of the kids. I take care of the dogs. I take care of the house. It's just like, and then that's what I get.
Yeah, and there's 100% truth in what you just said. And carrying that around like that is going to not weigh him down. It's going to weigh you down.
Right.
Right. And so, I mean, I, I'm fascinated by the story. I would love to talk forever. Tell me how I can help. What question are you asking me ultimately?
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