I Feel Inferior to My Girlfriend
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Are you mad at her or are you mad at you?
What up, what up, what up? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, taking your calls, real calls from real people going through real messy situations. taking your calls on your marriages, your mental and emotional health, your dating relationships, whatever you got going on in your life. If you want to be on the show, I'd love to have you click the link in the show notes and it will send you over to Kelly, our overlord, and she will get you on the show. Let's go to Boise, Idaho and talk to Michael. Hey, Michael, what's up, dude? Hey, Dr. John, how are you doing? I'm good, brother. How are you, man?
I am doing well, doing well. Thanks for taking my call. You got, you got, I didn't even finish that sentence.
You got it. What's up, dude? Yeah, of course.
How do I handle feeling inferior to my girlfriend's income?
So my question for you today is just trying to figure out how to handle income differences in relationships, specifically when dating, when that amount is a significant amount of money, especially in today's day and age. Tell me more. Yeah, so kind of just like a quick backstory. I grew up in the South, two-income household. Definitely not like, you know, bad off or well off. Kind of just middle class, had what we needed, but didn't spend a lot, didn't go on a lot of vacations, that kind of thing. And then my now girlfriend, she was kind of the opposite. Grew up like West Coast, only a single parent. Worked. had her college paid for, which I did not, you know, that kind of thing. And then now specifically she makes a large amount more money than I do.
So just trying to navigate that in my relationship, trying to not feel necessarily resentment from my end on that. I don't want to, but I found myself kind of feeling that way here recently. So that's the reason for the call.
Yeah. This is a question I'm not supposed to ask. I'm going to use a word that they train us in counseling grad school to never use. But I'm going to use it anyway. Why? Why does it bother you? Why do you feel less than? Let me rephrase that. I'm feeling there's two things happening at once. One, somehow you think your experience was more real growing up than hers. And at the same time, you feel less than dating somebody that makes more money than you.
Yeah, that's a good question. I've kind of, like, thought that myself as well, and I really don't know. Like, I don't want to feel like that, and I also, like, I know probably the way I said it, like, it came off, like, I think that, you know, her experience with Wes growing up, and I don't think that. Like, I just think, like, that it's now at this point, like, skewing my perception of of, like, let's say we go out to dinner and it's, like, not a big deal for her to pay something and it is for me. Like, it's kind of skewing that vision or that perception of whatever it happens to be at that time when it comes to, like, purchasing or spending money. And I don't know why. Like, I don't want to be mad, but I just find myself, like, mad about things like that.
Are you mad at her or are you mad at you? I guess myself. I mean, I don't know. Go ahead. How much money do you make? Like $70 a year. And how much does she make? Like $120 to $140. Okay. You're making a good salary. Do you like what you do for a living? I do, yeah. Does she make you feel small? Does she look at you and be like, oh my gosh, what a loser. You only make 70K a year. How old are you, by the way? I'm 24. Good God, dude. 24 making 70 grand. You're doing pretty dang good, brother. Like, does she make you feel that way?
So there was, like, there was a couple times that like jokes. I want to say jokes just because I don't know like where things would come up and there would be like little comments like, like you need to make more money to like support me and our kids one day, like things like that.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:05–1:32
2
How do I handle feeling inferior to my girlfriend's income?
1:32–6:48
3
What should I do if I'm feeling resentment in my relationship?
6:48–11:02
4
How can I navigate conversations about spending in a relationship?
11:02–17:00
5
What are the emotional impacts of income differences in relationships?
17:00–1:02:34