My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman

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The Dr. John Delony Show 46 min 5 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What happened in Derek's marriage involving his wife and a coworker?

Derek 0:05
My wife and I, we've been married for about a year and a half. She's been having a physical and emotional affair with one of my coworkers. And my coworker happens to also be a lesbian.
Dr. John Delony 0:21
Forget your coworker for a second. What about your wife, dude? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Talking to people all over the world about challenges in their relationships, their mental and emotional health. All kind of crazy things in this world that we're all trying to figure out how to navigate. It feels like every day the news gets wilder and wonkier and... just hard to figure out what's the next right move. And that's what this show is about, real people going through real challenges. If this sounds like something you want to be a part of, I'd love to have you. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K, and you fill out the form on the internets, and it will go to Taylor or Kelly, and they will help build the show and holler back at you.
Dr. John Delony 1:13
If they want to have you on the show, I'd love to love to have you. Let's go out to Panama city, Florida, Panama. Talk to Derek. What's up, Derek? Hey, Dr. Deloney. What's up, homie? How we doing?
Derek 1:25
Uh, I've been better.
Dr. John Delony 1:27
Oh, what's going on, man?
Derek 1:29
Uh, so yeah, my wife and I, we've been married for, uh, About a year and a half. And just around our anniversary time, well, two weeks ago I found out, but I found out that around our anniversary time, our one-year mark, that she's been having a physical and emotional affair with one of my coworkers. And my coworker happens to also be a lesbian. One of those looks like one, talks like one, thinks like one type of chicks. What does that mean? Um, like she, you know, she's on testosterone. She, you know, kind of, she's a woman who thinks and acts and looks like a dude.
Dr. John Delony 2:12
Really?
Derek 2:13
But your wife, your wife is with her now? Um, no. So when I found out it was pretty much like, um, they were kind of seem like they're breaking up, like they're ending their relationship. Um, part of my coworker feeling guilt and, um, Forget your co-worker for a second.
Dr. John Delony 2:34
What about your wife, dude?
Derek 2:37
Yeah, I mean, she also was feeling guilt about it, but she seemed like she was pretty emotionally involved with this person for everything that I saw with them. 36.
Dr. John Delony 2:56
Is this your first marriage? Yes, sir.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 3:02
Okay.
Dr. John Delony 3:03
I'm sorry this happened, man. Yeah, me too.
Derek 3:09
It kind of was unseen and kind of just blew up. Yeah, it's been going on for three months and just found out a couple weeks ago.
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 3:17
Yeah.
Dr. John Delony 3:19
So what's your next move, man? How can I help?
Derek 3:21
Well, yeah, so the reason my call is, I guess, how do I, you know, do I, Tell my supervisor at work, how do I confront this other person or tell her I know? How do I talk to family and get insight from them? How can I give my wife a second chance knowing that within a year of us being married that she's already been lying and cheating on me? How else has she lied in this first year?

How does Dr. John Delony advise Derek about his wife's affair and their future?

Derek 3:52
Well, throughout other discoveries, I found out about all this because I went through her phone. Um, one night and I found out that, um, there's like certain red flags and stuff. Um, other stuff would be, um, she would go, she went places that she didn't tell me. She'd say she's doing one thing and went, um, other places. But I mean, for the most part, this was like a big, big lie. Um, other things would be like turning off her location. I couldn't see like where she's gone. Kind of a little like deceitful. acts like that.
Dr. John Delony 4:38
She doesn't want to be married to you, man. Yeah, I mean, I hate to say it that blunt, dude, but is she spending money like crazy too? I found out that, yeah.
Derek 4:57
yeah, she was spending money like crazy. She was spending, she was sending money to people telling it was to family members when she was really buying other stuff with it.
Dr. John Delony 5:10
Um, yeah, brother, she doesn't want to be married, man.
Derek 5:14
Yeah. You know, she's obviously right now going through a whole apologetic phase. um, you know, she did mention she kept in touch. She stays in touch with her ex husband and, who cheated on her, ironically. And she says that, you know, through the text that I saw, that she wants to talk to him about divorce, but mainly because, like, I want kids.

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