Chapter 1: What are the challenges faced by couples with differing career paths?
All right, let's talk about your marriage. Right now, we have February and October weekends on sale for the Money in Marriage Getaway. It's the best marriage retreat on the planet. Tickets start at $749 a couple. Get yours at ramsaysolutions.com slash getaway.
Julie and I have for years worked together on our career. We're kind of like Batman and Robin, except that I'm Robin and she's Batman. But lately, she's gotten a job. She's a VP of marketing. I'm kind of tired of failing.
Is there something beneath I'm tired of failing, which is I'm tired of feeling like a failure in my own house? What's going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls from Nashville, Tennessee. I'm in Nashville.
Chapter 2: How can couples maintain connection while pursuing individual careers?
You guys are all over the world. Amazing men and women who are brave and who just don't have anybody else to talk to. Pulling up a seat and saying, hey, what's the next right move in this crazy world that we live in? If you want to be on the show, go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K, I'd love to have you on. Fill out the form, send it to Kelly.
And we don't screen them with AI, we screen them with humans. Kelly's kind of AI. Very, very older edition of AI. What do you call it? Like the dial-up. Kelly's dial-up AI. Reach out, johndeloney.com slash ask, and we'll get you on the show. All right, we're going to talk to a couple right now in Salt Lake City, Utah. So first, we're going to go to Julie.
Chapter 3: What strategies can be used to address feelings of inadequacy in relationships?
What's up, Julie? Hey, Dr. John. How are you? I'm doing fantastic. How about you? I'm doing pretty well. Thanks. Thanks so much for taking our call. Of course. All right. Let me bring up, let me bring on Jack here. All right. Let it rip.
All right. So Julie and I have for years worked together on my, or our career.
Chapter 4: How do past experiences of trauma affect current relationships?
I'm an entrepreneur. I dragged her into this. We're kind of like Batman and Robin. Except that I'm Robin and she's Batman. She's turned out to be a rock star at business, marketing, all kinds of stuff. Anyway, we're at a point in our career where I'd like to keep going with our joint effort just because it's been super fulfilling to work together.
And the things that I'm not good at in business, she's awesome at. And, um, but lately I like the last few months she's gotten a job. She's a, like a VP of marketing with a company, CMO, these, these high ranking titles. She's just a ninja at what she does.
So the problem we're running into, we keep having the same, we're kind of going in a circle over and over about, um, how to work together sort of, or how to, how to, thrive still while not working together. Um, and it just seems to be a bit of an impasse because I kind of, the career that I'm in, it's, it's really too much for just me by myself to handle. There's so much to running a business.
You probably already know that, but aside from just making the product, there's so much, uh, sales, marketing, taxes, accounting, all the things, right?
Chapter 5: What steps can partners take to support each other during difficult times?
that it worked really well when we worked together, but doing it on my own, I'm pretty much floundering. So Julie's in the tough spot of her own career is doing super well, but she sees me floundering and then feels like she has to help me, right? And I don't want someone who feels like they have to help me. That's not fun. Um, but you want her to want to help you. Well, yeah.
But if she said, bingo, she said today, fine, fine. I'll help you. I would say, well, I don't want help like that. Right. I mean, who wants, nobody wants that. But, um, anyway, overall we love working together. Um, she's fantastic. She's, I could, I could not speak highly enough of her in every way, but we just keep going in circles and kind of just,
Not getting out of this loop of... It's the dance.
Chapter 6: How can couples effectively communicate their needs and concerns?
Yeah, it's just the dance. All right, Julie, how do you respond to that? What do you want to add to that? I would say that's accurate. One important piece of this, I think, is that, as he mentioned, we did build something together and we actually sold it. Um, a few years ago, which put us in an interesting situation is do we build something new or do we kind of go our separate ways?
And that was, that was the point where, uh, we kind of went our separate ways. I wasn't really interested necessarily in building that same type of thing again. Um, but where we're, where we're coming up on, on, on the issue. So I'll just add to this is that, is that Jack feels that he maybe can't succeed without my help. Um,
And then I feel guilty because of some of those things that he'll say in that regard. Like, do I owe that to him to help him fulfill his entrepreneurial dreams, his talents? Do I owe that to him? And then one thing that comes up regularly is that we've worked well together, as he said, and he's now said, I don't feel like we're partners anymore.
Chapter 7: What are the signs that a partner may need professional help?
And I feel like we don't have that relationship anymore. He's super service oriented and is always doing things to help me. And he'll say, it seems like if you love me, you would want to help me. You would want to serve me. That would be the nice thing to do is to help me with this business.
And so then I feel guilty, but then I also feel conflicted because I'm having my own success and enjoying that. And so, like you said, it's this dance that we keep, and it seems like it just doesn't get resolved. And I know there are layers and ego and issues and all of these things, but for me, it feels like it's getting bigger. And so I just...
I wanted, you know, some wisdom and an outside source to be able to tell us where we need to course correct. Yeah. So I guess the first thing I want to say out loud is I hear that y'all two love each other. We do. John, she is awesome. Okay.
Chapter 8: How can couples create a safe and supportive environment for each other?
I'm not kidding. Okay. So this is good. So she's told you, I don't want to do that anymore. And that has not that there's something beneath the business. In some way, it feels to you like I don't want to do, like, it feels very personal. Tell me about that.
Well, I definitely want to succeed as a guy in providing for my family.
But y'all are providing for your family. She's crushing right now. So is it about she makes more money than you? Give me that thing. Why are you feeling less than?
Well, I don't mind her making more money than me and I don't regret her success. I'm really actually very happy for, I'm her biggest cheerleader and fan, but over the last, you know, since we sold our company and I, um, you know, I'm back, I'm, I'm ready to do another round of this. She's, I'm kind of tired of failing. Um, on my side of this in the career.
So I'm in a little bit of a- Okay, pause right there.
Let's get right beneath that. All entrepreneurs, you know this, have a low success rate. And then they win, and then you get back in the batter's box, and you strike out, and you strike out, and you strike out. Is there something beneath I'm tired of failing, which is I'm tired of feeling like a failure in my own house, in my own skin?
Oh, yes. Yes. But the thing that makes that complicated is I could succeed if I had her help.
But see, I don't think that's true. I think y'all did once. Here's my deeper question. Y'all did a thing together. Y'all built an amazing thing and then you sold it. How have y'all rebuilt connection, laughter, shared purpose, sex, joy? How have you rebuilt those things absent from working on a business together in part two of your marriage?
Well, we bought a French bulldog together.
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