Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
All right, let's talk about your marriage. Right now, we have February and October weekends on sale for the Money in Marriage Getaway. It's the best marriage retreat on the planet. Tickets start at $749 a couple. Get yours at ramsaysolutions.com slash getaway.
I met my partner, and we kind of had this whirlwind romance.
What did you find that made you say, halt this thing?
We got a whole bunch of wedding gifts, and part of that was wedding money. I happened to check that account that had thousands of dollars in it, and it was all completely gone.
What's going on?
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Chapter 2: How did the woman end up faking her marriage?
What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls. Real people going through real challenges, struggles in their marriage, their mental and emotional health, their kids, whatever you got going on in your life. I'm going to pull up a seat, you pull up a seat, and we're going to figure out what's your next right move.
For more than two decades, I spent time as a professor, as a dean of students, as a crisis responder, showing up in the wildest moments of people's lives and asking the question, what are we going to do next? If you want to be on the show, go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K. I'd love to have you on. Let's go to Orlando, Florida and talk to Sarah. What's up, Sarah?
Chapter 3: What triggered the woman's trust issues in her relationship?
Hey, how are you?
Remarkable. How about you?
Very nervous, to be honest, but excited.
That's very cool. Very cool. What's up?
I just have a strange question for you, to be honest.
Let it rip. Every question on the show is strange, so let it go.
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Chapter 4: How does past trauma affect current relationships?
Basically, I just wanted some advice. How do I overcome issues from my past to learn how to trust enough to marry the man that everyone already thinks is my husband?
I'm going to backtrack what I was saying and said earlier, that everyone asks a weird question. They don't ask that weird of one. Explain this. Unpack this for me.
Yeah, it's a very strange situation and it's kind of, it was an accidental kind of double life that I now live. where basically what ended up happening was I met my partner and we kind of had this whirlwind romance and he's absolutely wonderful and super sweet and he proposed very quickly.
We had a very small wedding, but before we went through the entire legal process of actually legally getting married, I found out some things that really triggered some very bad issues for me and it really changed everything.
So let's change a few things.
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Chapter 5: What advice does John give about financial trust in relationships?
You didn't have a wedding. You had a big party.
Exactly.
Okay. So we had a big party. Everybody showed up to it. They bring gifts. Y'all have like toasters and stuff.
Yep.
Got it all.
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Chapter 6: How can one navigate family dynamics during personal crises?
Okay. What did you find that made you say, I halt this thing?
Well, a little bit of context is going to be helpful for this. But basically, yes, we had a big party. We got a whole bunch of wedding gifts. And part of that was wedding money. And we put it in a joint account. And before we finished through the legal process, I happened to check that account that had thousands of dollars in it. And it was all completely gone.
And he had went and spent all of it on hunting equipment and things that he wanted and never talked to me.
Chapter 7: What are the implications of not having a legal marriage?
And unfortunately, that triggered a very bad insecurity. I grew up in a very abusive household where my father was very bad with money. He would beat all of us and kind of use the money to manipulate our situation. And we had to move a lot and cause a lot of insecurity. So when that happened, that really... made things very challenging where I just suddenly didn't trust this person anymore.
Okay. So he's not on the phone right now. So I'm going to ask you some questions are going to sound harsh. Okay.
Chapter 8: How can therapy help in resolving relationship issues?
Sure. Of course. But, but not being mean, same team. Okay. So you go through with this big charade, this big party, this, you went through basically a fake wedding where did you hire a minister and everything? You go through that whole thing?
Yeah, went through the whole thing.
You just never got a marriage license?
Yeah, exactly.
And you then went home, took the gifts, deposited the money, and then I guess y'all were going to go get a marriage license later? And then a couple of days or whatever later, you realized he'd burned through all that cash?
Yeah, backstory makes it a little bit easier. It was during COVID, so it wasn't quite as easy as it usually is to get a marriage license.
So it was delayed? Mm-hmm. Okay. So you were married in the eyes of the minister and everybody watching, just not legally?
Exactly.
Okay. So you say that you get triggered. Like this thing sets off a whole cascade of a very abusive childhood. And yet you went ahead and kept living there.
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