The Five 05-26-2025 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Memorial Day?
Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld, along with Kennedy, Harold Ford Jr., Jesse Waters, and she loves picnics because it's a chance to ride the ants. Dana Perino, this is a special edition of The Fop. It's Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff to summer. But before firing up the grill or hitting the beach, we can't forget what today is about.
Honoring and saluting our military heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We have a huge show ahead, so let's kick it off with your fan mail questions. Isn't that exciting? Yeah, so good to be here. All right, first question from Connie C. What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid? Dana, you were a terrible child, I would assume.
The amount of drugs and alcohol you participated in.
That Travis. You forgot the vandalism.
You're a bad kid.
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Chapter 2: What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid?
Yeah. OK, so my mom has since apologized. But I just get the wooden spoon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you know what? It works. I'm not against it.
Yeah. Yeah. The wooden spoon. I had a fly swatter.
Oh, that one hurts.
The fly swatter being chased with a fly swatter, Jesse.
Did they catch you?
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Chapter 3: What is your favorite childhood memory?
I never went back to the principal's office again. I never played in the woods again. We were not allowed to play in some area, and I did it. And then I got home, and my mom used the belt. Because I embarrassed my parents at school by getting paddled.
Never got paddled again. Kennedy, what about you? You were a precocious child.
Thank you, Greg. So my parents were Democrats. And when I was in high school, my senior year, I actually snuck to the Republican convention. Rebel. And my mom worked for the phone company. So I told her I was at a friend's house, but I was really in Seaside, Oregon. And so she went to work and checked where the call came in from when I called her collect.
Because we didn't have cell phones back in the 1940s, Jesse. And that was the only time in my childhood I got grounded. My mom wasn't mad that I was gone. It was the fact that I went to the Republican convention.
I don't think I've ever was grounded. I got suspended and expelled from school, but never like that. My parents never did anything. What did you get expelled for? It's a long story, but I was able to come back to school. Me too. Yeah. It was amazing. You know, when they couldn't find the victim, the charges were dropped.
It had to do with firecrackers in the classroom and then threatening a teacher.
The victim probably took a wicket to the throat.
Yes. Yes, long story. Roseanne asks, if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? This is so easy. Kennedy, what would you eat? I know that you're gluten intolerant.
Yes. Greg, I have celiac and I would like to take this moment for a wonderful public service announcement to save your small intestine. It would probably be my mom's gluten free chocolate chip cookies. Now I got to butter up because I embarrassed her about the whole Republican thing.
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Chapter 4: What food would you refuse to eat?
Hmm.
Dana, when I was a kid, I would say I read A Wrinkle in Time over and over and over again as a kid. And then actually it was funny because a couple of years ago, then that book was there was some controversy about it. It was that anniversary was like that might have turned kids Republican or libertarian.
Was it a time travel thing?
Yeah. But also when you went to the time travel is basically you live like a communist and nobody wanted to live in communism.
I'm going to I'm definitely going to read that last year. Get it? Kennedy?
Yes. Two, I love Jane Eyre. That's like one of the few books that I've read over and over again. But a book that absolutely changed the way I see the world was called An Essay on Man by Ernst Kassirer.
Oh, Ernst. How is he doing?
Not alive.
I don't know. My favorite book I always talked about was Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. And then I read it again and I'm going like, maybe it wasn't as great as I remember it. But I don't know. But I guess I should just say Blood Meridian. It's a good one. It's a good book. All right. This is from Dorothy. Dorothy T. What is one food you refuse to eat? I guess I should go to you, Jesse.
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Chapter 5: What is the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
There's only one. It's anything. I will eat anything. I've eaten the weirdest food. I don't think I should say this out loud, but I've eaten a body part from several different animals. I have something to eat, to drink in Zimbabwe that cannot be mentioned on a family program. So the only thing I would not eat is gluten, something containing gluten.
That's it.
Everything else on the table.
Tina?
There's so many things. But the things I'm writing down are snake, alligator, snails. Any of that weird stuff, I would never. I've eaten all of it.
I made Johnny eat escargot one time. Disgusting. Yeah, he didn't even know what it was. Poor guy. Did it taste like chicken?
I don't know. I didn't ask. I've eaten a lot, but I won't eat black olives, and I'm allergic to shellfish. Black olives doesn't agree with me. Just doesn't, whatever, it makes my, it's not good.
I'm going to go with lobster. You know, I don't like how they're treated. Same. You're not serious. No, I've never had lobster in my life.
Yes, that's true.
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Chapter 6: What was your biggest break in your career?
It was skateboarding day at the MTV Beach House. I was still pretty young. I was barely 20, and I decided to drop in on a half pipe. And I got a concussion and had to go to the hospital in an ambulance. Wow. Yeah.
You were a wild little lady, weren't you? It was wild.
The rest of it I can't remember because of the concussion.
Smoking cigarettes. I remember buying cigarettes in a machine at Macy's. You'd go downstairs into the hallway, put money in, and me and this guy, Bob. Yeah, we went to the high school, and we smoked cigarettes. And then I came home, and I spilled my guts without them even asking. My mom said, hey, what did you guys do? And I go, we smoked. And Bob never hung around with me again. Yeah.
Up next, what's the earliest childhood memory we can remember? The answer when we come back.
Listen to the all-new Bret Baier podcast featuring Common Ground, in-depth talks with lawmakers from opposite sides of the aisle, along with all your Bret Baier favorites like his all-star panel and much more. Available now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you get your podcasts.
And welcome back to The Five. We are answering your questions this Memorial Day. Here we go. What is the earliest childhood memory you can remember? Harold, start with you.
I remember at five years old, my dad dropping me off at kindergarten and my mom in the drive. And I used to be able to sit in the middle of those cars and have seatbelts. I was like that thing that came down that foot. So I sat in the middle there and we pulled up and literally almost rammed into the radio, into the face. And my dad was on a cell phone. A happy memory, my family.
Yeah.
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Chapter 7: How do you feel about show prep?
I wonder if the producers are having a heart attack right now.
Jesse, do you have a... I was going to do the exact same bit, and he stole it. It was dark, and then I felt this slippery sensation. So this man with a mask, I can't top it.
I remember my sister coming home from the hospital. I'm four years older than her. And I was really mad because my mom made me stay home from school that day. And I wanted to know, why did you make me stay home from school? That was my earliest childhood memory, just to save the segment. Not that funny. Happy Memorial Day. Question from Facebook.
And this is Noel M. What do you consider your biggest break in reaching this point in your career? Oh, Kennedy, that's a good one for you.
I was an intern at KROQ in Los Angeles and Hector, the program director, almost every day. I was an unpaid intern. I was 18. And I was like, you should put me on the air. You should put me on the air. Blah, blah, blah. And finally, he was like, stop talking. OK, if you promise to never come into my office again, I will give you an audition. So he gave me a two night audition.
And that's how I got started. I love that. I annoyed him into a job. Harold.
The same woman who patted on me, my elementary school teacher, was my first campaign manager. Oh. And she got me 32 graduation speeches when no one would invite me to speak when I was running for Congress. There were 28 kindergarten speeches and five elementary school speeches.
I thought that was a complete waste of time, but it turned my career around, turned my campaign around, and got me to where I am. And I love her to this day for that reason.
That's a great story. Hmm. Can you top that?
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