The Five 05-26-2025
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What is the significance of Memorial Day?
Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld, along with Kennedy, Harold Ford Jr., Jesse Waters, and she loves picnics because it's a chance to ride the ants. Dana Perino, this is a special edition of The Fop. It's Memorial Day, the unofficial kickoff to summer. But before firing up the grill or hitting the beach, we can't forget what today is about. Honoring and saluting our military heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We have a huge show ahead, so let's kick it off with your fan mail questions. Isn't that exciting? Yeah, so good to be here. All right, first question from Connie C. What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid? Dana, you were a terrible child, I would assume. The amount of drugs and alcohol you participated in.
That Travis. You forgot the vandalism.
You're a bad kid.
What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid?
Yeah. OK, so my mom has since apologized. But I just get the wooden spoon.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you know what? It works. I'm not against it.
Yeah. Yeah. The wooden spoon. I had a fly swatter.
Oh, that one hurts.
The fly swatter being chased with a fly swatter, Jesse.
Did they catch you?
Yes, they caught me many times. I was a slow child. I never got the belt, though. Everybody got the belt. I'll give you the belt. Yeah.
Oh, come here.
What about you, Jesse?
I had to mow my dad's croquet cork. Got in a lot of trouble. And the mower actually got caught up in the wicket. And then the wicket came and hit the poodle in the tail. Oh, no. We had to take it to the vet.
That's such a Jesse Waters childhood. I had to mow my dad's croquet porch. And then we had iced tea on the veranda. And Ashley came over. What about you?
And the butler took the poodle to the vet there. You're one to talk, Harold. I'll never forget second grade. It was biggest and most memorable. In second grade, I played somewhere at school, and my principal, a woman named Hattie Jackson, brought me into her office, and she said, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. And she hit me seven times with a wooden paddle.
What is your favorite childhood memory?
I never went back to the principal's office again. I never played in the woods again. We were not allowed to play in some area, and I did it. And then I got home, and my mom used the belt. Because I embarrassed my parents at school by getting paddled.
Never got paddled again. Kennedy, what about you? You were a precocious child.
Thank you, Greg. So my parents were Democrats. And when I was in high school, my senior year, I actually snuck to the Republican convention. Rebel. And my mom worked for the phone company. So I told her I was at a friend's house, but I was really in Seaside, Oregon. And so she went to work and checked where the call came in from when I called her collect. Because we didn't have cell phones back in the 1940s, Jesse. And that was the only time in my childhood I got grounded. My mom wasn't mad that I was gone. It was the fact that I went to the Republican convention.
I don't think I've ever was grounded. I got suspended and expelled from school, but never like that. My parents never did anything. What did you get expelled for? It's a long story, but I was able to come back to school. Me too. Yeah. It was amazing. You know, when they couldn't find the victim, the charges were dropped. It had to do with firecrackers in the classroom and then threatening a teacher.
The victim probably took a wicket to the throat.
Yes. Yes, long story. Roseanne asks, if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? This is so easy. Kennedy, what would you eat? I know that you're gluten intolerant.
Yes. Greg, I have celiac and I would like to take this moment for a wonderful public service announcement to save your small intestine. It would probably be my mom's gluten free chocolate chip cookies. Now I got to butter up because I embarrassed her about the whole Republican thing.
Yes. Gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, Harold. What about you?
If I didn't worry about my vanity, if I was not worried about my weight, I would have ice cream and chocolate chip cookies every day. But even so, I'd eat sweet potatoes. I love sweet potatoes. I only get them on Thanksgiving, really, but I love sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes. That's so lame.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the significance of Memorial Day?
0:04–1:02
2
What was the biggest punishment you received as a kid?
1:02–2:17
3
What is your favorite childhood memory?
2:17–5:40
4
What food would you refuse to eat?
5:40–7:26
5
What is the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
7:26–9:50
6
What was your biggest break in your career?
9:50–13:05
7
How do you feel about show prep?
13:05–40:44