The 4 Ways To Build Trust | Ep 979
episodePreviously titled “Why Trust Is a Bad Bet | Ep 979” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 2, 2026
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What does trust actually mean from a behavioral perspective?
Why don't you trust me? Right? Something that we might say to somebody, or you might say the reverse is like, just trust me. And that word, people have a very hard time of knowing like, what the hell does that even mean? What does trust even mean? And so this is a departure from my normal business content, but I think you will like it, or at least I do. And so I was thinking about this because someone recently was like, hey, trust me. I was like, huh, that's an odd command. What does that even mean? And so I want to break down.
What are the four types of trust and how are they determined?
Number one, what does trust actually mean from a behavioral perspective? How can I look at someone and say trust has occurred here? Right. And then are there different types of trust? So that which is what confuses this whole thing, because there isn't just one. There's actually four. And this is after actually thinking about this one statement that a friend made to me. And so the four types of trust actually correspond with two big variables, which is who's at risk and who does the punishing. So whoa, slow down. So you're saying trust is about punishment?
When should you trust someone and why is trust important?
The answer is yes. So if I trust someone, it means that I make myself punishable by them. So for example, if I say I'm going to share a secret with you, then it means I give you something that you can punish me with. And the idea is that I believe I'm making a bet that you're not going to punish me. And that's the risk, right? And so the idea is we have you who are at risk, so you, risk, and then we have the other person punishing, right? That's the first type. The second type of risk is that someone else does the risking with you, and they say, I'm gonna give you a secret, I'm gonna give you a knife, and you can point it at my back, and I'm gonna bet that you're not gonna stab. So now you're the one who can punish them.
That means that you are being trustworthy to them.
How can you become a trustworthy person and what are the benefits?
I'm gonna give you prescriptions on how to actually do this, because this has been so helpful for thinking about this through a relationship. Imagine Layla and I, we're married, and I want her to trust me more, and she wants me to trust her. So it's like, how can we actually prescribe, do these things to gain trust? And this is what I want to talk about, and that's what we're going to do. All right, let me just cover the other two. So if you're at risk, who else is the possible punisher? Well, it's the environment. So that means that reality punishes you. So what does that actually look like? That would be, hey, can I trust you to pick my kid up tomorrow?
What role does punishment play in the concept of trust?
Right? Sure. How would that happen? Well, I'm going to give them something, two different things, that I value a lot. They could punish me. They could kidnap my kid. That would suck. Right? Or they could not pick up my kid. Also would suck.
How can the environment influence trust and punishment?
Are they the one doing the punishing? Well, kidnapping, yes. But if they just didn't keep their word and just didn't pick the kid up, the environment would do the punishing. Now, to the same degree, someone can trust me, and it doesn't always have to be about action, like me doing something for someone else. It can also be about advice. So if I'm like, man, I really trust her. I trust her advice. She has good insight. Then I might follow that advice, and a bad thing would happen, and then I'd be like, I don't trust her that much. She gives terrible advice.
What are the consequences of betrayal on trust in relationships?
And so these are the four conditions. So you basically have... secrets or information, right, that someone can give you or you can give someone that they can use and hurt you or you give someone your word that you're going to do something, either make it happen or that they should do it and in either of those scenarios, the environment does the punishing. All right? Now, How do we make this useful? Okay, real quick, I'm gonna show you the exact 10 stage roadmap from zero to 100 million plus that less than 1% of companies finish. I've now done multiple times. And so I can say with a lot of confidence that these are the stages as headcount increases that you need to get through. And I broke each of these down by eight different functions of the business, what the constraint feels like, like what are the symptoms of it when you're going through it?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does trust actually mean from a behavioral perspective?
0:00–0:24
2
What are the four types of trust and how are they determined?
0:24–0:53
3
When should you trust someone and why is trust important?
0:53–1:38
4
How can you become a trustworthy person and what are the benefits?
1:38–2:09
5
What role does punishment play in the concept of trust?
2:09–2:23
6
How can the environment influence trust and punishment?
2:23–2:50
7
What are the consequences of betrayal on trust in relationships?
2:50–3:35
8
How can you effectively build and maintain trust in relationships?
3:35–9:50