BEST BITS: Keyzie Gets Cancelled

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The Hauraki Big Show 22 min 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 4 months ago
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Unknown 0:01
The Hauraki Big Show with Toledo's.
Jason Hoyte 0:04
All the good stuff, no nasties. Try it today. Hey fellas, I've got some breaking news. That all G?
Keezy 0:11
Sure, man. This is Breaking News.
Jason Hoyte 0:17
Fellas.

What breaking news do the hosts discuss?

Jason Hoyte 0:19
Someone's gotten in trouble for importing the old cocaine. Can I just ask a question here, Kesey? I've barely read the article, but yeah. Just how breaking is this news? It's two days ago. Oh, yeah? Oh, okay, cool. That's not bad for us. Yeah, that's pretty good for us. 21-year-old New Zealand man appearing in Sydney court charged with importing 20 kgs of cocaine into Australia through Sydney, all of it concealed in his luggage, but not really concealed, just in there with his clothes.
Mike Minogue 0:48
Yeah, worth a shot.

How does the cocaine smuggling case unfold?

Jason Hoyte 0:49
So 20 kgs, 22 vacuum-sealed packages. He has a maximum sentence that he could be facing, life in prison.
Mike Minogue 0:58
I could be facing life in prison.
Jason Hoyte 1:00
That's right. That's huge.
Keezy 1:02
That's a while. But is it life, like 25 years, get out in 10? Or is it life, life?
Jason Hoyte 1:09
I mean, I always thought life in prison was you're there till you die.
Keezy 1:11
Yeah, it's not though.
Mike Minogue 1:13
But a life sentence could be eight years for this or 10 years for that.
Keezy 1:17
So he's obviously gone into this thinking... Look, I'm not going to overthink this. I'm just going to see if I can get through.
Jason Hoyte 1:25
I'm just going to put 20 kgs of cocaine in my bag and catch a flight.
Mike Minogue 1:31
And hope for the best. And this is the thing, though. But this is the thing. When you go to the airport and you've come through International, they pull some people aside. You know, where have you been? Oh, you know, went over to Magic Round. How was it? Yeah, good, thanks. All right, you can go out. And then 1 in 10, or 2 out of 10, or whatever it might be, go, oh, we'll go over here and we're going to have a geez in your luggage. So he's just thinking to himself, jeez, those odds are pretty good. Yeah, but the issue is Magic Rounds in May. Oh, yeah, no, he buggered it up.
Keezy 1:59
And just on that front, I mean, they go through my luggage every time, and you know why? Because you've got lighters in there. Yeah, too many lighters. Happened to me again the last time I flew. It was like five lighters in a bag.
Mike Minogue 2:08
How was the street value on something like that, Keezy?

What are the legal implications of drug smuggling?

Mike Minogue 2:10
Yeah, you'd know that, Keezy, wouldn't you? Did they give you a street value, brother? I'd be amazed if there's no street value in that article. Mogi, $6.3 million. Is that all? And how many packages did you say?
Keezy 2:22
22 vacuum sealed. So I reckon one of those packages, you'd suck up that snozz and quit smart time, Keezy.
Jason Hoyte 2:31
Hey. Good stuff, Jase. We were discussing it off air. Yeah. The key to actually getting through the border was something illicit on your person. Yeah. So if you had one of those vacuum packs. I know where you'd put it. Huh? I know where you'd put it. Where, man? Come on, man. Here's the alleyway. Jase already said up your honker. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd only fit the one, though. You could fit about 10. But the way you'd have to behave, you guys reckon, because you guys did some drug mulling back in the day, you guys reckon that you just have to be loud and confident.
Mike Minogue 3:02
Yeah. Yes. And you're always pretty confident with a couple of grams of old Charlie up your honk.
Jason Hoyte 3:07
Yeah. Or your noose. And Charlie in your backside. You've done that.
Keezy 3:10
Because here's the thing, Keezy. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Is that... He's a mad bastard. You know, they're looking for people that are trying to go under the radar. Right.

How does the conversation shift to personal experiences with travel?

Keezy 3:19
So they're just sort of just not making any... Looking for very nervous people.
Mike Minogue 3:22
Nervous, sweaty, all that sort of stuff. Shifty, shifty-eyed.
Keezy 3:25
So if you go in there and you're a bit chatty, you're a bit sort of... G'day, mate. Yeah, g'day, and all that sort of stuff, they go, I mean, they're obviously not smuggling drugs because they're getting a lot of attention.
Jason Hoyte 3:34
What if you acted like you were so hungover? In fact, the night before, you just had a massive session, so that you're literally going through there, they're chatting, and you're just like, oh my God, I'm so hungover, I just need to get through this.
Mike Minogue 3:44
Well, that's not good either, because they might think that one of the condoms has burst open in your bowel.

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