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Chapter 1: What favorite film does Jase discover in this episode?
The Hodaki Big Show. Thanks to crave-worthy street food. Freshly made with Reburger.
Welcome to the Hodaki Big Show. With Jason Hoyt. Oh, g'day, you mad bastard. It's great to have your company on this absolutely glorious Wednesday afternoon. It is the 10th of June, 2026, and you, my friends, as always, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburgia.
Crave-worthy street food freshly made with Reburgia.
Scrumptiously umptious. Speaking of which, how are you going, Moogie, you stud, you Greek god, you stallion, you...
Get going pretty grassy, you mad dog, you sick son of a bee. As you say, just another beautiful day. Unbelievable. Now, it's not like this everywhere in the world. I want to be quite clear about that, just where we are. But we can't speak for everywhere else. But if the weather's not good where you are, I am sorry. We all are. I apologise on behalf of the big show.
But where we are, bloody beautiful. Spanking. Eh? It is glorious stuff. Now, if you were listening to the show yesterday, know that old Keezy. Old bear dog. Was a bit under the gun, was a bit under the weather. I mean, he still managed to film stuff yesterday. And then after his film, he went off. He goes, I feel a bit crook, so I don't think I'm going to make it to the radio.
Had a little sleepy nine eyes and some hot noodles, a few beersies. And he's top of his game today.
G'day, Keezy. Hello. It's funny because two of those things are true. I did have sleepy nine eyes. I went straight home after filming and had a two and a half hour nap. And when I text you guys, I was eating a bowl of hot spicy noodles. I was like, this will fix me. Spicy noodles. Did you tear into yourself as well? What do you mean? At the restaurant. No, no, no. Just before you had a nap. Oh.
You know? Can I just ask? Are you saying that you went from your filming to then going to a restaurant and having spicy noodles? That's right. Between... And so you went and filmed and then you went to a restaurant to have some lunch and then called into the fellas and said, Oh, fellas, sorry. I'm a bit crook. Won't make it for the radio. Is that what happened? That's pretty much what happened.
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Chapter 2: What exciting news does Keezy share about his career?
Yeah. Jacket. Hey, now listen, massive show ahead. What's coming up, Mogi?
What's happening on The Big Show with Old Mogi. Another opportunity to get yourselves in the draw for the Export Ultra Bear Garden Tour. They are going, this is Matt Minaya and G-Lane are heading over to a grand final in Sydney in October. We don't know what it is.
Who's Matt? I don't think we're allowed to say. Jerry and Minaya.
Did I say Jerry? Oh, Matt. I don't know. I just sort of feel like Matt would be better on this trip. Matt Heath, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I agree with you. Also, we're going to answer the question. In case anybody, just in case anybody's wondering, we're going to answer the question, who from the big show has been shoulder tat for the recently announced James Bond audition? Yes. They're going to be doing a new series of films and they are looking for their new Bond. And coming up next, old Keezy. He's big time, Jase.
He sure is, man. Thanks, fellas. He's big time. He's just had, not only is he a host on the hugely popular Game of Two Halves, he is also the centrefold. In the latest edition of Woman's Day.
I don't know if I'm a centrefold.
It's a pin-up. You can take it out, unpin it from the middle of the magazine and stick it up on your wall. If you could not do that, that'd be great.
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Chapter 3: How does Keezy feel about his feature in Woman's Day?
Yeah, man. I don't know about you, but I've never had a spread. Why are you saying it like that? In Women's Day.
I think the closest that I've ever had, Mogi, is I had a spread. Hang on. Spread. Spread.
I just don't know about saying it like that.
In a local community newspaper in Rotorua. Oh, yeah. That's about as good as I've got, but it was a hell of a spread. It was a hell of a spread.
The reason is my wife's also in this spread. So I just feel uncomfortable about you guys saying it like that. Well, that's how you say it, Keezy. Spread.
Yeah. Can we say article?
Spread. And it is a spread. Do you know how I know it's a spread? Because it's spread across two pages. If it was on one page, it would be an article. But this, my friend, is the very definition of a spread.
Right, okay. Well, I'm glad we've addressed that. It's out right now. Oh, it is? Yeah. And to be honest, I'm not too upset with it.
Right. I've sent a copy to Mogi to have a read. Yeah, yeah. Can you tell me why now, of all times, you've been chosen to be in this magazine?
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Chapter 4: What are the highlights of Keezy's Woman's Day spread?
You and your partner have never looked better.
Well, I mean, they are. I mean, I couldn't tear my eyes off them.
I mean, that. Very nice.
Thank you, Louise.
There's one of the two of you. Her name's Lucy, not Louise. One of you two sitting on the couch. Yeah. I mean, Keezy, you've got a real shit-eating grin on your face.
Well, who wouldn't have a shit-eating grin? You know, beautiful woman on the couch?
Well, you look like you've been eating shit.
Is that what that saying means? Yeah. Oh, wow. Is that what had happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They came earlier than anticipated, and I was like halfway through it, and I was like, oh, quick, jump on the couch. The photographer's here.
Now, that is a really beautiful photo, and I think that's one that will probably end up on your wall. That one is great. Then there's another one of the two of you sitting in the bed. Why are you playing with your nipples, Mogi? Oh, I was just getting it out of the way. Oh, right, okay. They've become rectus. Yeah, I know they have. Of the two of you sitting in the bed of your truck. Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What new project is Mike Minogue involved in?
He bought about 1,000 keys and he just handed them out to any bastard.
It was 500.
It wasn't 1,000. You're a generous guy, I'll tell you what. An absolutely amazing spread across two pages is what we've got. It's Keezy with his beautiful wife there. He talks about, you know, what it's like to be at home, their life together, getting married, working in radio, how they met as a couple.
And, of course, the point of the article is to celebrate the fact that old Keezy over here has taken over from Laura McGoldrick as the host of... Of Game of Two Halves. Yes. Yeah. That's huge, Keezy.
Thank you. Massive, man. Absolutely massive. Thank you.
Thank you. Now, obviously, this article comes with its own headline, but we thought it would be a bit of fun, a bit of harmless bant to get the audience to just text in on 3483 with a few suggestions on what the headline might be. And we've got a few here. Yeah. Got a few here, like this one here. Now, of course, your wife's name is Lucy. So there's this one here. Loose in the goose.
Loving him despite the honker. That's nice, isn't it? Yes, that's romantic. That's really cute. I like that one. This one here is quite good. Speaking specifically of the Game of Two Halves and Laura leaving, from gold to silver, Game of Two Halves prepares to downgrade.
You like that one, do you? What about this one? Buzzies, biscuit nips and bird shit. How Chris Key has gone from unknown radio host to unknown TV host. Remember, this is in Women's Day, all right?
Yeah, I mean, look, they might need a little bit of a tweak on the language a little bit, but by and large, pretty good. Somebody just here the comment, this isn't really the headline. I'm laminating that bastard and pinning it to my bedroom ceiling.
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Chapter 6: What are the hosts' thoughts on the next James Bond?
So, for example, here, Keezy says, I'm a 70-year-old man at heart.
I don't remember yelling that particular statement. My family is obsessed with anything that has a motor.
Yeah.
I sound like a drongo. I love parking the Chevy next to Mike Hosking's beautiful European car. This is great stuff.
Is it? Yeah, it's really good. It's really embarrassing when you read it out. Really embarrassing.
And there's a lot of stuff that you sort of go over how you first met and, you know, a bit of DIY, you know, your wife lying about how good you are at DIY, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. And then way, way, way towards the end. Yes. The banter continues over at Hauraki's The Big Show where he co-hosts with actors Jason Hoyt and Mike Minogue. We have such an amazing vibe in the studio.
Did I yell that as well? Exclamation. Was there two at least? With Jason, Mike teaching me how to turn everything up to 150%. Laughs Chris. When I was a student, we'd gather round to watch whatever comedy show Jase was on, so it's amazing now to be mates and work together. I think of him as my uncle.
Your uncle? Yeah, you're my uncle. Oh, man. What were you thinking? That's lovely.
Thank you, Keezy. Old Uncle Jizz.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts discuss their dinner plans?
So that makes me think that maybe you don't believe in one true God, the Lord our Saviour.
Can I say it was a sign from the heavens? It was a sign from the heavens. There we go. That's good.
But, Jase, you were saying before the show that your one true God is horsepower. Yeah, that's right.
That is true. And was it 1,500? Yeah, 1,500 cc's. No, it's not going to go too mixed up. They're two different things. Because, of course, like your electric motorbike, Mogi, you've got your option of it only goes 50k. Yeah. But it can go up to 150k. Yeah, that's right. And this one was the full 150.
What, the Vespa?
Yeah.
That's pretty good, man.
Me in a Vespa. In it. You're going to be in it. Mogi on his electric bike. Keezy on his shithouse farm bike. I mean, that is... That is.
The funny thing is, my bike is the only one capable of going faster than 70 kilometres per hour. Out of all the bikes we've got. Yeah. But yours doesn't start very often. Actually, we had to start it today and the battery was flat. But that's the joy of an old motorbike.
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Chapter 8: What advice do the hosts give about nightmares in children?
That sounds awesome. That is a great gang, however you look at it. I'm in. What are we called? Stink Fist. Well, no, Fist of Stink.
Fist of Stink.
You like that? No.
The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.
ACDC there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.54. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.
Yes, yeah.
Last night, fellas, I watched the pilot episode of a new series on Apple Television called Cape Fear. Okay. Cape Fear. It's been two films before. The first one was in, I think, the 50s with Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum. Brilliant. The remake was directed by Martin Scorsese with Nick Nolte and Robert De Niro, which I think might be De Niro's best ever role. He's a mad bastard.
Max Cady is a guy who goes to jail for a crime that he apparently was not guilty of, he did not commit. And he gets released from jail and he tracks down the lawyer that he feels is responsible for him being incarcerated for about 15 years. Sort of takes it out on his family and stuff like that. Psychological thriller. This time around it's Amy Adams as the lawyer. Oh, I like her. Chill out.
Jeez.
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