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The Hauraki Big Show

FULL SHOW: Spreading Your Mulch

07 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

1.482 - 21.052 Unknown

The Hodake Big Show with Toledos. All the good stuff, no nasties. Try it today. Yeah, g'day, you massive backbones. Now, listen, we've just finished our podcast outro, and after some serious chat and review, we've decided not to release this particular episode, fellas.

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21.293 - 30.022 Mike

Woody J had a shocker. This is the first time it's ever happened where we've decided that we needed to delete a whole podcast. There's too many victims. Yes.

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30.322 - 31.263 Jase

There's too many victims.

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Chapter 2: How does Keezy handle his mulch problem with birds?

31.443 - 34.847 Jase

I feel like I came out okay. Not that anyone would know because we've deleted it.

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34.827 - 40.252 Unknown

Yes. Well, you would say that. You would, but also you didn't really know what we were talking about.

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40.312 - 41.974 Keezy

No, I had no idea because I'm a good little boy.

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42.054 - 59.69 Unknown

But once you did, you hoed in. Yeah, you did. So, you know. Yeah. But it was one of those ones where we've had to make a judgment call. Yes. And we've made the judgment call, and this particular episode has been taken out to the back paddock and dealt with. Yeah. We've had to self-regulate. Yes.

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59.73 - 60.391 Jase

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

60.411 - 61.112 Unknown

We've self-regulated it.

61.132 - 67.574 Jase

And if you're curious as to what the topic was, just think, Racism?

Chapter 3: What advice does Dez Dalgety offer for garden issues?

67.594 - 71.321 Jase

Well, I mean, no. No, it wasn't, but, you know, just to throw them off the scent.

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71.701 - 71.962 Des Dalgety

Yeah.

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72.303 - 79.616 Jase

Anyway, enjoy the highlights podcast. Yeah. Reeks of racism. Enjoy the podcast. We'll have another one tomorrow.

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79.716 - 104.787 Unknown

Bye. Oh, g'day, you mad bastards. Great to have your company on this glorious Thursday afternoon. It is the 7th of May, 2026, and you, my friends, as always, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo.

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104.987 - 114.019 Jase

Low in sugar, no preservatives, natural flavours and colours, family-friendly and made in Aotearoa. Drink Toledos. Toledo.

Chapter 4: What relationship challenges does Keezy face?

114.039 - 119.167 Unknown

Toledos. Oh, man. That is what you call butchering an opening. Is this pre-recorded?

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119.428 - 120.229 Jase

What do you mean pre-recorded?

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Chapter 5: How do the hosts react to Keezy's relationship advice?

120.249 - 120.911 Jase

What the hell is that?

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121.893 - 130.429 Unknown

Oh, jeez. Holy heck. I don't even know what to do with that. I mean, I've been working in radio a long time, and that was so bad that it's thrown me a little bit.

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130.449 - 135.098 Jase

Can I just say, just quickly, Jase is wearing a Bouchard T-shirt and a Reburger hat.

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136.52 - 137.903 Mike

He's a weapon, man.

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137.984 - 140.448 Unknown

I'm a man of history, Keezy.

140.468 - 143.313 Jase

A man of history. Can you just buy some new stuff, please?

Chapter 6: What are the details of the upcoming Engelbert Humperdinck concert?

143.333 - 163.902 Unknown

Well, I often wear, you know, I often wear, you know, what is it, backbone, but I didn't have any clean ones. This is the only clean T-shirt I had. Wow. Hey, speaking of T-shirts. My God, your one is just straining against that heavily chiselled chest, Mogi. How are you, you stallion?

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163.922 - 177.015 Mike

Going pretty grousey, you mad dog, you sick son of a bee. What a day to be alive, fellas. Absolutely beautiful out there in there. Counting down the days until we get ourselves over to magic round, eight more sleeps. Yeah, man. Seven more sleeps. Seven more sleeps.

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177.035 - 178.337 Jase

Damn, it's flying by. Six more sleeps.

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178.357 - 179.418 Mike

Holy hecka.

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179.498 - 180.619 Unknown

Jesus Christ.

180.639 - 181.66 Mike

I'm frothing it.

181.64 - 191.299 Unknown

Keezy looking very sharp with your new do there, mate. Got a bit of a fade happening. You've got a bit of the buff on top there. Looking good, mate. Looking good.

191.579 - 195.447 Jase

Thanks, Jase. Yeah, looking good, feeling good. Last day of the week for old Keezy.

196.068 - 197.57 Mike

Christopher, as I like to call you.

Chapter 7: What is the Breakfast vs. Big Show Challenge about?

200.354 - 205.2 Jase

Big golf tournament down south there. So I've got Friday vibes, fellas. Yeah, sure.

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205.32 - 209.565 Mike

Look at this guy. Don't get too steamed tonight and ruin your weekend, though. No, that'll be tomorrow night. Okay, good.

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209.585 - 216.214 Unknown

Responsibly. And Saturday and Sunday. And we'll be back to Green Guild Keezy on Monday.

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216.334 - 217.676 Jase

Yeah, old Green Guild Keezy.

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217.696 - 223.864 Unknown

Yeah, good stuff. I'm fine, by the way. Fellas, thanks for asking. Hey, uh... What's coming up, Mogi?

224.725 - 230.993 Mike

What's happening on The Big Show with Old Mogi? Later on in the show, Keezy has got a huge... Stand by.

232.955 - 233.596 Keezy

Oh, bless you.

233.816 - 254.905 Mike

Keezy's got a... This has been the best opening break we've ever done. Keezy's got a huge update about Inglebert Humperdinck. You heard of him, Jizz? Yes. He's a hell of an individual and an absolute weapon on the stage. Get excited, fellas. O.D.J., you're worried that you're going bald. I am a little bit, yeah. Well, save it, man.

254.945 - 260.434 Mike

Keep your powder dry because we're going to be yarning about that later. And coming up next, a bit of a surprise when I walk through the doors of the office today.

Chapter 8: What humorous moments arise during the discussion of the challenge?

261.496 - 272.835 Mike

We've had, in the light of the Broadcasting Standards Authority being abolished, it's been revealed to us that we've had hundreds and hundreds of complaints laid against us, the big show, and they've been kept from us all of this time.

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272.815 - 280.353 Jase

Yes. They've never got right through to that final stage. Yeah. Quite a lot of them get, you know, pushed by the wayside there. But still, why don't we read a few of them?

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280.373 - 288.792 Unknown

Let's have a go, yeah. Great stuff. Is that next, is it? That's next, mate. It is, Jay, so just get ready to be confronted, all right? Okay, man. In the meantime, here's The Hives.

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289.454 - 301.452 Unknown

The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, ever last there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 13 minutes past 4 o'clock.

301.492 - 320.681 Unknown

Now, fellas, we were chatting yesterday, weren't we, about the abolition, the impending abolition of the BSA, the Broadcasting Standards Authority, and how they're basically saying you're going to have to be self-regulating. And I think, given that we got that information yesterday, we were pretty good with it. Pretty mature, pretty grown up.

321.042 - 323.486 Mike

Absolutely. They're asking us to self-regulate now.

323.686 - 328.012 Unknown

Yeah. And we're grown men. I mean, we can do that, can't we, fellas?

328.173 - 351.833 Jase

I mean, I think so. I think I'm pretty good at it. Absolutely. And so are you two. But in light of this... We've had a few complaints that have come through to Radio Hodaki and they've been posted on the Radio Hodaki Instagram there. Right. And you guys haven't seen this post yet? No. Okay, so there's two that specifically are about the big show. Okay. So I might just read these out.

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