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The Hauraki Big Show

OUTRO: Ass Poisoning

05 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about their day?

1.077 - 15.409 Unknown

For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or Raw Doggett, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hauraki.

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15.61 - 17.491 Keezy

Oh, g'day, fellas.

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17.511 - 20.834 Jason Hoyte

Backbone. Hello. Does this work?

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20.854 - 21.615 Keezy

Is this working?

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21.635 - 21.775 Jason Hoyte

Yeah.

21.795 - 26.399 Keezy

Just means I can't hear myself, eh? Are you still having technical issues, Nogi?

26.419 - 35.51 Jason Hoyte

Well, I've been moved. Oh, Jesus, there. Yes. So Jerry's obviously had the same issue. Yeah. How's it going, fellas? Yeah, good, thanks. High five, Keezy, man.

36.831 - 43.62 Mike Minogue

Ah, up top, brother. Who was that dude that just pointed at me? I'm fucking reeking. Why? This is the second day in a row you've come and reeking.

43.941 - 48.286 Keezy

Yeah, I know. Is that because you're... No deodorant. Oh, what? Is that a conscious thing?

Chapter 2: Why does one host choose not to wear deodorant?

84.342 - 107.022 Jason Hoyte

The problem I had was this one was running on practically zero battery. So it was only marginally faster than this one. Then somebody walking. Yes. And I had to go the long way around where you go fishing under the bridge. Oh, yeah. Down the hill, down past where you go fishing under the bridge. And it took a long time. Along the marina there. Yeah. And I was like, is it?

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107.677 - 118.393 Jason Hoyte

Is it because I'm in a slow go zone? It's a low speed zone there. So that's what I thought. And I thought, but this is particularly slow. Hang on, man.

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119.054 - 122.8 Mike Minogue

Hang on, man. He's halfway through talking, man. I just want to clarify.

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123.061 - 131.814 Jason Hoyte

Come on, TC. Come on, man. And so then I pulled it over and then I jumped on another one. Fuck, I was flying, mate.

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Chapter 3: What embarrassing experience did the host have on a Lime scooter?

132.055 - 135.381 Jason Hoyte

Wow. I was actually flying on a stand-up one. But it was humiliating.

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135.582 - 141.252 Mike Minogue

Yes. Do you think it takes away when you arrive at the meeting, reeking, and you hop off a Lime student?

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141.292 - 145.179 Jason Hoyte

Absolutely reeking. Well, I parked a bit further away so that no one will see me.

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145.2 - 146.803 Mike Minogue

But you still had the Lime helmet on, you were saying.

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146.823 - 149.407 Jason Hoyte

I have the helmet on. I never take the helmet off.

149.608 - 151.892 Keezy

My question was going to be,

151.872 - 179.095 Jason Hoyte

do lime is there like areas where lime scooters go slower because you're not allowed what they automatically just need restricted areas yeah right okay so the cbd would be an example because there's a lot of pedestrians around yes um how much are you paying for one of those well that today cost me about 8.50 which wasn't heavy because that's about as much as an uber yeah um but i got humiliated so that didn't seem more fun than an uber though

180.053 - 196.09 Jason Hoyte

Well, I tell you, speaking of reeking, the last few Ubers I've had fucking reeking. It was like old Mogi had been driving them for a year. So you never wear deodorant ever? Oh, not ever, but certainly not every day. I don't like the health. Oh, right. They're putting, what is it?

196.11 - 196.631 Mike Minogue

Aluminum.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the environmental impact of aerosols?

594.234 - 597.46 Jason Hoyte

You know, not again. Not since I was a kid, but that's the only time I've seen it.

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597.676 - 605.786 Mike Minogue

I remember when I was a kid, the only soup, my mum would make a bacon hock soup, which is delicious, but most of the soups were coming out of cans.

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606.327 - 607.608 Keezy

Yeah, for sure.

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607.628 - 611.233 Mike Minogue

So my dad was like, I love tomato soup. And I was like, oh, you're making tomato soup? He was like, yeah, and then crack open a can.

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611.253 - 633.876 Jason Hoyte

Crack open a can, yeah. Well, that's the thing. Cans were the canning, you see, Keezy there. Interesting fact for you. The cans were invented for war food, so for provisions, yeah, for your army men. Yes. Around about the 20s, I think, maybe the 10s. But the most interesting thing is the can opener wasn't invented until around about the 30s or 40s.

633.856 - 634.917 Mike Minogue

They just knife it open, eh?

634.937 - 636.48 Jason Hoyte

They used to knife the fucking thing open.

636.5 - 654.103 Mike Minogue

Did you also know that the first cans, you know how there's a famous voyage up north where it got stuck in the ice and then the crew all went and then they started eating each other and stuff? Oh, yeah. What's the explorer's name? I can't remember his name. Shackleton's ass. Shackleton. They actually all died. They ate his ass. Oh, Jase. You wish, mate.

654.904 - 660.572 Mike Minogue

They actually all died from lead poisoning from the tin food. Oh, yes, yes. Not from eating ass.

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