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Chapter 1: What nostalgic dog memories do the hosts share?
Hello. Hello.
I'll tell you what came up today for me, funnily enough. It was our breakfast show when we did the breakfast show again. And you were horrendously hungover.
It was this time last year, wasn't it? Because it was after the Radio Awards.
And then you piped up and your voice was completely fucked.
You got a pretty grouse axe, mate. Fuck, it was funny. And they just cried laughing. What was that on? Was that Facebook you get the memories of? Yeah, something like that. Or Insta. Do you get memories on the Insta? Nah.
I actually, with the old Facebook ones, get inundated with memories of my dog. Oh, your dog's dead. Yeah. So it's kind of sad. I get all these videos of her, like, frolicking on the beach. When she was alive. When she was alive and happy and full of joie de vivre.
I get that just on my computer there with photo memories, you know? There was one the other day, which was my daughter hugging our dog. Who tinkered. It's been a while. It's been a while over on Waiheke Island. It is sad. But isn't it good that they got a chance to live, Jase? Yeah, true, man. You know? Haggard's living.
We were talking about this with my parents over the weekend because we've got my dog, family dog, Ava, really old, literally just stands sort of in the middle of the... Oh, still alive. Still alive, blind, deaf, really dumb. Loving it.
and takes ages to sit down and just sort of like I can relate when the Warriors game was on because she's allowed to sleep on this like mattress thing by the front door she's not an indoor dog she's a farm dog and she's sitting over there even though she's blind and deaf yeah put her to work and then we're like I'm yelling at the Warriors and she just stands up walks like off her mattress into the middle of the sort of joint living area and just goes oh
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts feel about their deceased dogs?
She was deaf as well, wasn't she? Tinker. Tinker.
She was in the end, yeah, when she was dead there. Yeah, couldn't be a thing.
Well, I mean, before she died.
But the problem with your dog is a problem. She's dead. She's dead now. That wasn't what I was going to say. The reason it barked was because you had a border collie. Yes.
She's a farm dog.
It just got cooped up all day.
She did get run a lot. That was a good thing. By who? Not you. Well, I'd take her down to the beach and stuff.
You'd take her down to the deer and get some darts. Today's the day. Today's the first day. Is it on there? Great, is it? Dart chat? Dart chat. Yeah.
It's not on there, but we will.
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Chapter 3: What funny stories do they tell about their current dogs?
But you're right. Well, because your dog's dead. You cannot afford to bring it up unless you're going to get a dog.
No, absolutely.
Because you'll never hear the last of it.
That's right. But I would also not get a dog like the dog that you had. No. That's a tough dog to own in the city. I'd probably end up, you know what I'd love is to get a Staffie. Oh, yeah. I love a Staffy. Great with kids, friendly, lovely. Aren't they vicious little bastards? No, they're not. They're the most beautiful natured dogs. They can fuck you up. Yes.
Because they're little nuggets of muscle. But their nature is unreal. They're beautiful. But again, that's on the owners a lot of the time.
Absolutely.
Well, the worst dogs are those little fucking nippy bastards.
I'll tell you.
Who tinker.
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Chapter 4: What are the pros and cons of owning different dog breeds?
And I feel the same way about poodles. And people from certain countries. I cannot abide poodles. Oh, thank God. And particularly the big poodles.
Oh, I hate poodles. And don't even get me started on labradoodles. I hate the big poodles and even the little ones because they've often got shit all over their wool.
Yes. But the reason Labradoodles, I could be wrong, but the reason Labradoodles are good is because the mixture of their type of fur doesn't malt as much or something.
No, that's right. But I just don't like them. I just think they've got nothing, man. The look of them and they're thick as shit. They're a friendly dog. I think a mate of mine's got, his missus has got one. A Labradoodle. And I think it's a Labradoodle. It's pretty funny. Because, you know, just nothing going on between the ears.
Yeah, just dumb.
I love dumb animals.
I used to tell you about Rue and her racism.
Well, they say it's a learned behaviour.
She would, without a word of a lie, see poodles or a labradoodle and go ape shit. Other dogs she couldn't care less. Poodles, she hated them. Would just go berserk at them.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts compare their childhood pets to their current pets?
Nah. And then she's like, oh, that's great.
She doesn't listen to the podcast.
Nah, she hates it.
She hates it. She hates what I do. She fucking hates it. She hates what I do for a living.
I mean, my wife is getting very cocky, Keezy, so you better get on with it, man. That's up to you to get on with.
Yeah, why are you telling me to get it on with your wife?
Mate, this old ram's out to pass you.
Oh, my God.
With my huge bullos.
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Chapter 6: What considerations do they discuss about getting a new dog?
Into the ocean. Just wave of seed. Yes, I do, Kesey. I think I could still father a child.
Well, that's good.
What are you suggesting?
Well, it's just that we're having issues, man, and we need a donor. And my wife was like, yeah, I'd love a hoity-jay running around.
People are having them old, man.
Totally. Yeah, nah, fuck. Well, you had yours quite old, wouldn't you say?
I would. Yeah. But older than me even.
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Chapter 7: What humorous debates arise regarding dog characteristics?
Even like a now sort of a thing is what I'm thinking. But, you know, because you see babies in there and I already know that you're getting tricked, you know. I'm very aware of that and how cute they are and all that sort of stuff. And I just remember. Oh, yeah, because a few nights ago, my daughter got up a few times in the night.
Yeah, that's right.
And it just took me back, man. It's like, I fucking hated it so much. I hated it. Too old. Too old.
I'd be worse now. You're probably at the perfect age at the moment, Keezy. Probably getting on a bit, to be honest, man. Yeah, I'd be getting on with it. I wouldn't be mucking around.
I wouldn't want to piss around too much, that's for sure.
Oh, you're not supposed to piss around.
Because now your jizz is getting real weird. You've got to get that weird, deformed jizz.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts view the responsibilities of dog ownership?
Who knows what you're going to end up with. It's got little bends in it and stuff.
That's okay. Withered jizz. Hey, listen to the big show, 407 Weekdays, Radio Hauraki.