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The Hauraki Big Show

OUTRO: Once A Thief

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the Big Show podcast all about?

0.773 - 9.687 Keezy

For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

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9.707 - 11.069 Jason Hoyte

Or raw doggies.

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11.089 - 15.096 Keezy

Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodake.

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15.116 - 41.568 Unknown

Oh, g'day, fellas. Back, mate. Hello. Good stuff. I'm over that title. We've just had a big feed. We won't say what we had a big feed of, but we had a really big feed, and I'm stuffed to the gunnels. That's a secret. That's me for the rest of the day. I just texted my wife to say, no dinner for me tonight, darling. Did you? Yeah.

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41.588 - 55.304 Unknown

I'm full on what I've just been eating, plus all the chips that I'll steal. Well, funnily enough, I went to steal some chips and I went hang about. Hold up. It was just habit. And I went, no, I don't need chips.

55.625 - 67.98 Mike Minogue

I just literally ate a massive pile of chips. At what point is the chip stealing going to finish? I don't know. You know what I mean? Because it's obviously like a revenge thing. When is the revenge done?

69.341 - 75.128 Unknown

Well, it's not really a revenge thing. It's just... I like chips, and these ones are free.

75.568 - 79.955 Keezy

Except when Keezy, for example, brings in free ones, you're not interested.

80.936 - 84.862 Unknown

That's true. I mean, when people pay for them, they just don't taste the same.

Chapter 2: What humorous stories are shared about stealing chips?

109.254 - 110.276 Mike Minogue

$1,000.

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110.636 - 129.424 Keezy

My friend steals... $1,800 a year. $1,800 since over the last two years. $900 a year. It's not bad. It's pretty good. It's not bad, but then I've shared some of those as well. Yeah, I mean, you guys have all sort of... Well, there's probably more on top, actually.

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129.464 - 134.09 Unknown

You know, you guys have indulged in my thievery. Especially in the earlier days, you know.

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134.111 - 139.358 Mike Minogue

Yes. My friend steals a packet of $4 chips every day and has done so for the past two years. How much has he stolen? $2,080.

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139.538 - 144.345 Keezy

No, it's $1,800 because we work 225 days in the year.

144.726 - 148.689 Mike Minogue

Five times 52 times two... Yeah, but we don't work 52 weeks.

148.829 - 153.681 Keezy

Oh, that's not true. Yeah, true, actually. 225 days of the year.

153.741 - 158.071 Mike Minogue

You're still trying to make me look bad, Keezy. Keezy, what are you working out?

158.131 - 162.481 Keezy

I've given you the answer, man. I know the answer. I've told you. It's $900 a year.

Chapter 3: How much money has been 'stolen' in chips over the years?

224.271 - 231.982 Unknown

Is it? I don't know if it is. Yeah. It's harmless fun. I mean, it's not like I'm going into shops and stealing.

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232.723 - 234.225 Keezy

No, you only steal from the people you know.

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234.285 - 234.866 Mike Minogue

Your workplace.

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234.886 - 236.869 Unknown

Were you guys big stealers when you were young?

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237.109 - 246.223 Mike Minogue

No, never have been. No. My mum basically, one time I tried to steal a Kinder Surprise and I got in big trouble and my mum made me take it back and apologise.

246.406 - 265.601 Unknown

I got, well, I think I've told you this. I got caught stealing at my local dairy. He busted me because I stupidly stole successfully and then went outside the dairy and started eating it. What was it? It was like a packet of chicken chips and some lollies. Chips. Rustling chips.

265.661 - 270.048 Keezy

But you sort of feel like because you got it outside the door, it was yours now. Well, exactly.

270.088 - 292.808 Unknown

He lost, you won. I was only about like seven because he knew my dad. And so he said to me, you're going to pay me double for those or I'm going to tell your dad. Did you? Yes. So you had money? No, I didn't have money, but I had to pay him. You worked it off, Keezy. I literally had to, Mogi. I literally had to save up and then go back and pay him the money. Double what?

292.828 - 295.113 Unknown

And you never got told off? I never got told off, no.

Chapter 4: What funny anecdotes do the hosts share about their childhood stealing?

555.514 - 564.587 Unknown

I always find it really funny when I see Lane, you know, when they do that, throwing it against the glass. Yeah. And I just chuckle to myself because I'm like, I used that.

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566.109 - 580.87 Mike Minogue

Oh, you're talking about the dildo. LAUGHTER Are you talking about the dilly with a suction cup on the bottom? When did you use it?

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581.571 - 591.368 Keezy

None of your business, Keezy. That's a very personal question. God, I'm tired, eh? I don't like getting tired at 3 o'clock every day. 330-itis, is that what they call it on that ad?

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591.905 - 596.095 Unknown

Like, yeah, no, I don't know, man. As I say, we've just eaten so much food.

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596.115 - 599.563 Keezy

I've got a bit of a food coma going on. And it's hot as fuck in here again.

599.804 - 614.6 Mike Minogue

Yes. Fuck, man. Hey, have a lovely long weekend. Hey, I reckon. Have a nice time. Afterwards, can I say that? Go the Warriors taking on the Panthers. Top of the table clash. When's that, by the way? See you on Tuesday. Sunday at about 8. See you there Tuesday, 4 till 7. Bye.

614.78 - 616.765 Unknown

All right, bye.

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