OUTRO: Once A Thief
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Oh, g'day, fellas. Back, mate. Hello. Good stuff. I'm over that title. We've just had a big feed. We won't say what we had a big feed of, but we had a really big feed, and I'm stuffed to the gunnels. That's a secret. That's me for the rest of the day. I just texted my wife to say, no dinner for me tonight, darling. Did you? Yeah. I'm full on what I've just been eating, plus all the chips that I'll steal. Well, funnily enough, I went to steal some chips and I went hang about. Hold up. It was just habit. And I went, no, I don't need chips.
I just literally ate a massive pile of chips. At what point is the chip stealing going to finish? I don't know. You know what I mean? Because it's obviously like a revenge thing. When is the revenge done?
Well, it's not really a revenge thing. It's just... I like chips, and these ones are free.
Except when Keezy, for example, brings in free ones, you're not interested.
That's true. I mean, when people pay for them, they just don't taste the same.
You know what I'm saying? If we were to put a dollar value on the amount of chips stolen, so I know a packet of those chips goes for about $5 at the supermarket now.
Yeah, let's call it $4.
Let's call it $4. How long have you been stealing chips for, Jase? Two years?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I'm just going to do some maths over here.
Yeah. Well, that's about... It's 225 days a year we work Keezy. So there you go.
What humorous stories are shared about stealing chips?
$1,000.
My friend steals... $1,800 a year. $1,800 since over the last two years. $900 a year. It's not bad. It's pretty good. It's not bad, but then I've shared some of those as well. Yeah, I mean, you guys have all sort of... Well, there's probably more on top, actually.
You know, you guys have indulged in my thievery. Especially in the earlier days, you know.
Yes. My friend steals a packet of $4 chips every day and has done so for the past two years. How much has he stolen? $2,080.
No, it's $1,800 because we work 225 days in the year.
Five times 52 times two... Yeah, but we don't work 52 weeks.
Oh, that's not true. Yeah, true, actually. 225 days of the year.
You're still trying to make me look bad, Keezy. Keezy, what are you working out?
I've given you the answer, man. I know the answer. I've told you. It's $900 a year.
Per year.
But, you know, it's been a long time since I've stolen any. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's been months. Months and months and months.
1840. Yeah. 1840. Isn't that crazy?
You don't count the small bags of chips then? Nah.
Well, they're, like, incidental, aren't they? And actually, they've got very slack on that front because they're literally just lying all over the floor. I'm worried about you. What do you mean, man?
I worry about, like, with that hat today that you tried to steal, I worry that you have a take mentality to it. That when you come in here, you're allowed whatever you want.
I only tried to have that hat because I thought it was a new one and he was just giving it out for you for the video that we were making.
I'll have that hat.
And also, you know, there was an element of humour in it.
Right, was there? I just worry about you stealing as well. I'm just a bit worried about it.
Look, it's all harmless fun.
How much money has been 'stolen' in chips over the years?
Is it? I don't know if it is. Yeah. It's harmless fun. I mean, it's not like I'm going into shops and stealing.
No, you only steal from the people you know.
Your workplace.
Were you guys big stealers when you were young?
No, never have been. No. My mum basically, one time I tried to steal a Kinder Surprise and I got in big trouble and my mum made me take it back and apologise.
I got, well, I think I've told you this. I got caught stealing at my local dairy. He busted me because I stupidly stole successfully and then went outside the dairy and started eating it. What was it? It was like a packet of chicken chips and some lollies. Chips. Rustling chips.
But you sort of feel like because you got it outside the door, it was yours now. Well, exactly.
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