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The Hauraki Breakfast Podcast

🎙Tree Trauma - The Podcast

23 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What weather conditions are impacting daily life?

0.031 - 22.697 Manaia Stewart

daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio show the horaki breakfast podcast good morning welcome along to the first bite of the cherry the first podcast to see the sun nobody's seeing the sun today the first to see in a new day the day of our lord the 24th of june 2026 good morning nobody's seeing the sun it looks like one of those days goodness me

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23.048 - 46.45 Jeremy Wells

Was it around the whole country as well, was it? Yeah. It's one of those awesome, awesome rains, too, because I don't know about you guys, but we have a pile of shoes at the door at all times. And the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane and also sideways today. Sideways. And at such an angle, all of those shoes soaked. Oh, no. Yeah, a real rude awakening. Oh, outside.

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Chapter 2: How do laptops fare in extreme weather situations?

46.51 - 62.092 Jeremy Wells

Outside, yeah. Outside. They start on the front doorstep. But, yeah. When I was living in Wellington, I had a laptop. Have you heard of those computers? A laptop? Yeah, you can take them places. What, you put it on your lap? Yeah.

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Chapter 3: What are the myths surrounding drying wet electronics?

62.212 - 65.117 Manaia Stewart

Just the top of a computer?

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65.157 - 74.332 Jeremy Wells

No, it's a whole computer, but it goes on top of your lap. Or you could put it on a desk. That doth not a desktop maketh, though. Okay.

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74.352 - 76.275 Manaia Stewart

I would have thought you better to put it on a desk.

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76.255 - 94.181 Jeremy Wells

You are better to put it on a desk, but it gives you the availability to put it on your lap. Anyway, that laptop was sitting on my bed, and it was like a damp Wellington flat, so I'd lift the window open, air it out. What do they call it? Luftwaffen?

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Chapter 4: What challenges do scheduled trees face in urban areas?

94.962 - 117.13 Jeremy Wells

Luftwaffen. Luftwaffe in the place. Yeah, that's right. She ain't listening next time. She's bloody doing a crossword again. And then it rained so hard and so sideways that it rained on my laptop. Oh. Yeah. And your beard. Well, yeah, my beard.

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Chapter 5: How does tree maintenance differ for scheduled trees?

117.15 - 137.245 Jeremy Wells

You can dry a beard out. Yeah, you can. Can't dry a laptop out. fucking idiot was that the end of the laptop end of the laptop man put it in rice nah who puts it in rice who puts it in rice yeah who puts something like a phone that's been wet in rice who puts it in rice who does something like that and then put it in the hot water cupboard who does something like that doesn't work

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137.596 - 140.7 Jeremy Wells

How could it work? Magic rice.

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141.12 - 142.161 Manaia Stewart

Yeah. It's magic rice.

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142.221 - 143.143 Jeremy Wells

What could the rice possibly do?

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143.163 - 148.229 Manaia Stewart

It's not touching the... Well, rice has a special thing in it which heals electronics.

Chapter 6: What are the consequences of cutting down protected trees?

148.689 - 150.471 Jeremy Wells

So you've never done it? Never.

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150.752 - 152.614 Manaia Stewart

Never, Mr Smarty Pants?

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152.694 - 159.922 Jeremy Wells

No. Neither have I. Did you think that a... I never said I've done it. I'm asking you. I feel like you've done it. You've definitely done it.

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159.943 - 164.768 Manaia Stewart

In fact, I remember you did it because you went on a walk with your family and Mrs Ruder had a phone in the pocket.

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164.788 - 166.27 Jeremy Wells

Not once have I done this.

Chapter 7: How do neighbors influence tree care and maintenance?

166.25 - 176.378 Jeremy Wells

Not once. Did you think that a person of a specific ethnicity was going to be attracted by the rice and then fix your phone? Is that how you thought it worked? No.

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176.611 - 179.514 Manaia Stewart

Magic rice. Magic rice.

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180.815 - 190.265 Jeremy Wells

No, mate. What do I think it would do? The rumour I heard was that Richard Gere put a gerbil up his arse. I think that was from the in-laws, actually.

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Chapter 8: What are some personal experiences with gardening and tree care?

190.285 - 196.17 Jeremy Wells

It was that it soaks up the moisture into the rice, and then you can still reuse the rice afterwards.

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196.25 - 201.876 Manaia Stewart

So it's the same in-laws that think that Lekahalasema's name is Hekka? No comment.

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202.362 - 226.211 Jeremy Wells

I mean, just the fact that you have to drown rice in an insane amount of water to cook it would seem to indicate that it's not very absorbent. You know how much water you put into a thing of rice? You know what I mean? And then that would tell me not a real absorbent grain. Look, I tried, man. I fucking tried. Do you give people that try, do you give them this much shit? No. I'm results driven.

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228.015 - 236.335 Manaia Stewart

The result was the phone did not live. No. No. So you didn't put your laptop in rice anyway.

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236.568 - 243.055 Jeremy Wells

No, I don't know where you'd get a tub big enough to fit a laptop in. A bucket and a bucket of rice.

243.356 - 252.886 Manaia Stewart

That's a conspiracy by Big Rice. It's just a way of selling more rice. They know that they can sell more rice if people put their devices that are wet in it.

252.906 - 273.583 Jeremy Wells

Because they struggle to shift that stuff. They do. No one eats it. No one eats it. No one eats it. Bloody hell. I mean, yeah. So anything they can do. But this is business in 2026, isn't it? It's hard. It's hard. I see you wore gumboots this morning. Yeah. Jeez, you put a pair of gumboots on in a city and people will lose their minds.

274.484 - 280.251 Jeremy Wells

It is the appropriate footwear for, by the way, Auckland's drainage situation, which is a disaster.

280.271 - 283.255 Manaia Stewart

Something terrible is happening in Auckland drainage. I think it's the leaves.

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