The Hypnotist
Free Session Friday: Hypnosis To Rewire Learned Anger To Stop Reaching Braking Point
29 May 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of Free Session Friday?
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside access to cutting-edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine issues. Brought to you by the hypnotherapist demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox. These recordings took place live from Evans Glen in London's world-famous Harley Street. So, get yourself comfortable and enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
Hi it's Adam here and you're about to watch or listen to the very first free session Friday and this is an idea that I had a few weeks ago around the time of my birthday and I thought it would be useful to actually show a full session rather than just the hypnotherapy bit that you hear me do which is normally the final 25 minutes of a hypnotherapy session.
Now, that led to an issue because everything that I do is completely confidential. So how could I share the client and what I do with the client if it's all confidential? And that's where the idea of Free Session Friday came from, because I thought, what if I offered a free session for those people that are quite happy sharing?
to relinquish that confidentiality and to share the whole experience of them working with me. So the very first volunteer that I had is a gentleman called James, who is a firefighter. And you'll hear his story that he had certain anger triggers that would lead him to lose the plot or explode in certain situations. And what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna share the full session
as it actually was, not heavily edited, not picking out the bits that are most interesting, but you actually get to experience the whole session like you're a fly on the wall watching me do hypnotherapy with someone else.
So you're going to get to know James and what it's cost him, what he's tried, where it came from, and then you're actually going to observe the first part of a hypnotherapy session, which is the bit where I'm in detective mode, diagnosis mode. I'm asking lots of questions to figure out where it came from. Are there any belief systems connected to it?
Is there an unconscious strategy or certain triggers that are happening here? Are there any role models or resource states that we can use to So you're going to hear me gather lots and lots of information in the first part. And the second part, you're actually going to hear the very hypnotherapy I did with James live.
So when you listen to a normal episode, you're listening to the final bit of hypnosis session. And this is the entire thing. Now, what I would encourage you to do is to think about what you can take from this as an observer. There might be certain things that trigger you that aren't anger related that are still beneficial. But what I would also really like is more volunteers.
I've got around about 10 volunteers so far that have requested. But not every issue is something that's going to work well for one of these live broadcasted sessions, these actual recordings that are going to go out. So I'm really looking for people with an interesting or unusual issue. If it's something that seems very unusual.
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Chapter 2: How does Adam explain the concept of learned anger?
And you If you are chosen, like James was, to be a volunteer for Free Session Friday. So I'm going to sit back and just allow you to watch the entire thing. But if you do want to volunteer for a future Free Session or... Maybe you would like to nominate someone.
Maybe there's someone that you know that would be an excellent candidate for free session Friday, in which case, instead of you filling out the form for them, share the link with them so they can kind of apply for themselves. That would be greatly appreciated. But for now, find a quite comfortable place. The first half is you observing the diagnostic part. The second part is
is the actual hypnotherapy itself. And let me know in the comments or drop me an email. I'll put my email address in there. It's adam at adamcox.co.uk. If you like this format of seeing more of what happens in the session, or if you'd continue just to hear or see, the actual hypnotherapy bit and not get to find out about the client issue beforehand. Feedback is really, really appreciated.
But if you guys like this, either volunteer or just let me know and I will keep doing them. And my plan is to do one free session each week for either someone with something interesting, unusual, or just to help someone that is really in need. So if that's relevant for you or you know someone, definitely have a look in the show notes. For now, take care and enjoy the session.
James, lovely to connect with you here. And obviously we've got our very first free session Friday, which is a thought that popped into my head a few weeks ago. And I thought a lot of people hear my stuff, but they don't actually understand know what happens before the hypnosis part. And I thought, you know, good for people to kind of see behind the curtain and kind of how it works.
So what are we going to be working on today? What's the issue that you want hypnotherapy for?
So the main thing really for me is controlling anger. In general, I'm not an angry person. I've not got... You know, it's not something that's a huge problem, but when it does happen, it's just a case of I kind of, you know, lose control, I suppose. And... And it's not very helpful, certainly in, you know, relationship settings at home.
And it's, you know, it's quite rare, but when it does happen, you know, it's an issue that's been there over the years and something that I've recognised that I need to work on. And yeah, I've been listening, been doing various things, reading various books, listening to some of your podcasts, doing a bit of meditation, things like that.
And I just thought this would be a good opportunity to try something out to see if it can help. Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What techniques can help recognize anger triggers?
I mean, I can calm down quite quickly if I'm removed from the situation, probably. But if I'm not, if it's not possible, then, yeah, you're in a bit of a, you know, you're not thinking like an adult, probably. You're kind of in child mode and almost having a bit of a tantrum, I would describe it as. So, you know, it's not a huge problem in my day-to-day life.
But when it happens, the way that I react is basically not... Yeah, in my mind, it's not acceptable. And I don't think, I think the things that I'm angry about are probably, you know, I'm sort of justified to be maybe angry about the things. But the way that I'm reacting is not justified. So that's kind of what I want to change.
Yeah. And I'll say that's a really important distinction because what you can say is that there's a difference between intention and execution. And I would say what I'm getting from this is that if the key triggers are you're not being trusted or things seem unfair.
or you're confined in some way, then effectively there is a counter to that, which is effectively an element of dealing with boundaries. You're saying, you know, I want to have freedom, I want to have this, or this is hypocritical, therefore I'm doing this because it's fair. That intention is actually a valid intention. So the intention is,
could be something that we can say right let's keep the intention that you wouldn't want to be in a relationship that is unfair where you're not trusted where you can't actually live life in the way that you want to do
But equally, the execution element of that, if it reaches a breaking point where the straw breaks the camel's back, the switch gets flipped, you get into that tantrum or kind of seeing red element, then what we can say is that even if the intention is valid, the fallout of that is is bad for you and bad for the people closest to you.
Just so I can get a sense of the environments, because some people would say, right, it doesn't have to be someone close. It could be if someone cuts them up in traffic or someone gives them a look on the street, you know, that can flip their switch.
Are there any kind of particular triggers that tend to be more prevalent with you that tend to set you off and areas that should but don't, like the exception to the rule?
Yeah, basically, nothing that you would think would make me angry in terms of, like you say, the sort of road rage. Nothing really bothers me. It's definitely on a personal level. It's when someone... I mean, you know, I've done quite a lot of thinking about it and stuff, and I think growing up, I was the youngest of four kids, and I've always been a bit of a people pleaser.
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Chapter 4: How does mindfulness play a role in managing anger?
let's say if it was when my daughter was younger and there was something and she just, you know, you kept asking the same thing or whatever and then eventually you flip and usually that's mixed with various other stresses going on around you. But certainly in the situations that I can think of, it'll be, I'm maybe being asked something and I'm maybe,
you know, given an answer, that answer isn't believed. So I sort of say it again. It isn't believed. So, you know, and it's basically, I keep getting the same question or, you know, whatever it is. And I get to a point where I'm like, right, I've had enough of this and it definitely explodes. And I suppose you feel, you probably do feel a kind of, or,
you know without thinking about it you maybe don't notice it but maybe a bit of a tightening of the chest and you know sort of rising temperature and maybe getting a bit of a dry mouth that kind of stuff
And are there any phrases that you would use? Some people following that pathway would say, I'm losing my patience now, you know, or I'm reaching the end of my tether. Do you have any kind of phrases that kind of link to this idea of in the run up to, you know, flipping that switch, you're communicating or feeling something?
Not that we've kind of put in place or anything to try and help, I suppose, but I mean, I will make it clear that, you know...
don't know why i keep needing to repeat myself or you know something along those lines if it's that kind you know so i will say it won't just be that i'll just sit there silently and then all of a sudden you know i will kind of give a warning that i'm not enjoying this and if it carries on i'm gonna lose the plot but like i said it's not helpful generally you do that through tonality or body language or a combination of both probably about both
Yeah. So if I'm you, and let's just say, who's your favorite method actor? You know, for me, I would say, you know, there's some actors that really kind of immerse themselves into the Daniel Day-Lewis is the one that pops into my mind. So if I'm being a method actor, and I'm being you, what would I have to do?
What would my mannerisms be to kind of let other people know that I'm not enjoying this, like we're getting close now?
probably be a look you know it'd be a bit of a a look and i yeah i don't know you would just i would just be like you know kind of sort of saying enough enough's enough i probably will actually i've not got the best memory so a lot of the time my recollection of things isn't great either but i probably will quite often say right i'm about to lose the plot if you don't
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Chapter 5: What are the common triggers that lead to anger?
Well, what we'll have is we'll have a broad resource start because what I've got a sense here is cool, calm, but uncompromising, you know, the phrase that is most emotive for you, that does not appeal is the walkover phrase. So you can't be seen or feel like you're being weak.
And you've got a belief system that probably came from the dominant male role model, which was your father, which is raising your voice as a represent representation of dominance and strength. actually the clue is losing the plot. That's the point where you've lost control, not where you've gained control.
So we need the resource state to be very kind of confident and uncompromising, no sign of weakness. And at the moment, it's a last resort that actually doesn't give you any leverage or doesn't give you any more leverage
options it reduces all of your options and i have a feeling and correct me if i'm wrong that actually because you've lost the plot that's actually been used to um justify the behavior of other people that you thought was unfair all along so actually it's counterproductive to lose the plot because not only do you not get the outcome that you're looking for but it's then it's
it's used as leverage to say, look, you're unreasonable, you're the problem here, and therefore nothing changes. So what we've got is we've got a strategy here that has loads of negative fallout and isn't even working very well. So it's like the CD player that doesn't even play or the VHS tape that doesn't even play the movie. It's not even the best option.
It's like a pretty bad option that doesn't even do any of those things.
yeah and I think as well so just thinking about role models and stuff but actually on the opposite of that like one thing that I hate is bullies you know I hate and you know and that maybe comes back to the kid that poured the coke on my head and stuff but actually when I'm behaving the way that I'm behaving it isn't a bullying you know you become a bully I suppose because you're shouting you know
He's using physical presence and kind of volume as a form of dominance to coerce. That's effectively the definition of a bully. It's using power dynamics to get your outcome at the expense of someone else's. So the fact that you hate bullies and you can make that connection within yourself, that's powerful. We can use that as leverage. What we now need is something that works better.
And I think we've got the resource state, which is this... Cool, calm, confident, yet uncompromising. I think that's the resource state, but we actually need something that is going to lead to recourse. And the whole point of you having the element of losing the plot is an attempt to either manage or enforce boundaries. That's the actual function behind it. Something is unfair.
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Chapter 6: How does the guest describe their personal experience with anger?
What would work for you, by the way, in terms of something that actually would work? And again, let's backtest it with previous dynamics that actually, if you would have done that, it would have avoided the line being crossed where you actually got into that anger mode because you could catch it early enough. Would that be time by yourself, you know, going for a walk? What would have worked?
I think it probably is it's probably taking a bit of a time out I mean the one thing that really helps me get out of you know so if I've lost the plots I've gone there and I've had the rage and I'm still pissed off or I'm in a huff or whatever it is one thing that almost instantly will get me out of it is something funny you know if I decide and quite often if I'm in a bit of a rage like that I'll go off and I'll
I don't know, start doing housework or something, you know, but you're sort of, you know, and it's like a need to do something. But the one thing that will snap me out of it is, you know, if I just go and sit down and like stick on something, but you can't conjure something funny all the time, but you maybe just, you know, look at your phone and a funny, you know, whatever pops up.
If I do a bit of a laugh, then it's like, I can just forget about it and move, you know, move on. And it's much easier for me to then come. I'm not kind of in that state.
Yeah, so that would definitely interrupt your pattern. Can it be engineered is my key question.
and i probably not but i think the the space thing it can be but it's maybe you know even if i go so let's say there's about to be a thing and i go off and take the dog for a walk or something if i'm sort of already a bit annoyed and then it's just i'm playing it in my head i might come back and still be you know a bit grumpy or whatever and likely to
Yeah, so the playing in your head would probably be done in a particular way. So when you're playing in your head, are you rehearsing arguments or kind of phrases or thinking of what's happening that shouldn't be happening?
Yeah, more of that. Thinking of how unfair it is and what should happen, basically.
Yeah. And is that typically a movie or is that in a dialogue? And it can be a combination of both, but some people can be thinking about the thing and saying, like, that's not right, this isn't okay.
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Chapter 7: What strategies can be employed to communicate effectively during conflicts?
Strength is in the middle, clarity as to your needs and your boundaries, but zero tolerance to bully anyone else to secure it. If your unconscious is happy to accept these new suggestions,
as a way that gives you more of the life that you want and respects the people closest to you let me know by nodding your head and one final visit in that bubble is the future I want you to imagine yourself a few weeks from now I want you to see yourself having a conversation before one is necessary
you know those historical areas that can lead to conflict and see yourself not in a demanding or agitated way but a cool calm composed way having a reasonable conversation about what's important to you and what's important to someone that matters to you I want you to see yourself with a whole new level of tenacity at seeking true understanding, really seeing it from their side.
Not because you have to, not because you should, but because you want to. Because the more clearly you see things, in the way that the people that matter most to you see things the less the idea of fairness pops into your head and it becomes more about reassuring genuine concerns based on all of the experiences that that individual experienced
Your unconscious pattern was anger that came from seeing older siblings and a parent raise their voice. Therefore, isn't it only natural that other people have their own unconscious patterns, triggered by what they experienced in their past? you understand, things make sense. You feel less confined, more understanding, and you seek to build bridges, not burn them.
You seek to include, rather than exclude. If you're unconscious, can now take you to a moment that would have been a cause of anger but instead is handled differently now then visit that memory that is yet to happen and see things as they would be now with these new beliefs, perceptions and ways of resolving different points of view That's it.
And if this seems a much more effective way, useful way, powerful way of resolving things, let me know by nodding your head. That's it. And then step into that future version of you. And I want you to see that even if they try to push your buttons,
this new version of you feels like those buttons just don't work anymore I want you to think of all the things that have triggered you in the past a facial expression a tonality a mannerism a closed door anything at all
and see that when you feel this way none of those things make you feel frustrated or angry they make you curious and empathetic seeking an even deeper level of understanding dial it up, make it the worst it could ever be And if you feel that even under those circumstances, you would not lose the plot, let me know by nodding your head. That's it.
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