The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Melinda French Gates Reveals All: Life-Changing Lessons on Transitions, Trusting Your Inner Voice & Choosing Yourself! (Even if it’s for the first time ever or the first time in a long time!)
Mon, 14 Apr 2025
Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷 Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode! ____ Melinda French Gates, named by Forbes as one of the most powerful women in the world, is here today, and she is revealing all! Life-Changing Lessons on how to hear your own inner voice, how to trust yourself, and how to choose yourself…even if it’s for the first time ever, or for the first time in a long time! I am SO excited, for you, for me, for women everywhere right now because this conversation is just that incredible! Melinda French Gates is a philanthropist, businesswoman, and global advocate for women and girls. She’s the founder of Pivotal Ventures, focused on accelerating social progress by removing barriers that hold people back, she also co-founded the Gates Foundation, alongside former husband Bill Gates. Melinda’s brand new book The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward, is out now, make sure you pick up your copy today here: https://a.co/d/fCPCsw3, it’s so good, in the book, Melinda reflects for the first time on the most significant transitions in her life, from becoming a parent, she’s now a mom of 3, to the death of a dear friend, to departing the Gates Foundation, to deciding to end her marriage, this book is filled with the most inspiring and insightful lessons on loosening the bonds of perfectionism, helping yourself and others navigate times of crisis, embracing uncertainty and so much more! Through Melinda’s decades of high-impact investments, philanthropy, partnerships, and advocacy, she’s not only impacted and saved millions of lives in the US and around the world, she’s also become one of the most iconic and celebrated women of our time. It is such an honor to join Melinda and YOU in this incredible conversation! And whether you're joining me today for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. And remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share it with every single person that you know because it can change their life too. Episode Reflection Questions for YOU: Jamie writes prompt questions each episode to spark revelations in your self-worth journey and help you apply the tools and lessons from each episode into your real life right now. Please make sure you’re signed up for Jamie’s free inspirational newsletter jamiekernlima.com 👈 Get my new book WORTHY plus FREE Bonus gifts including a 95+ page Worthy Workbook and more at WorthyBook.com For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show 13:27 “I Have to Coach Myself to Lean Forward” 13:32 Do This to Overcome Self-Doubt 21:22 “I Deserve to be Where I am in Life” 23:18 Remove Your Labels 29:22 The Cost of Body-Doubt It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Click Here to Subscribe to the YouTube Channel Follow me here: Instagram TikTok Facebook Website — Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at: jamiekernlima.com — Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are! WORTHY Believe IT
Chapter 1: Who is Melinda French Gates and what is her background?
Melinda French Gates, named by Forbes as one of the most powerful women in the world, is here today, and she is revealing all life-changing lessons on how to hear your own inner voice.
I had a boyfriend in college that really was not a positive relationship for me at all, and he cared a lot about how I looked and said a lot of things about it to me. And that really is not okay. It really is not. And I eventually obviously got out of that relationship, but it took me too long and I inculcated too many of those messages.
Boy, when you take that down, that perfectionism around weight and body image, you wanna talk about, you take that down, whew, you have so much more mind space. It's an anxiety that's in there, right? I had to work with several different nutritionists and I did some work in therapy, but God, when I took that down, it was like, whew, okay, that feels better. How to trust yourself.
Chapter 2: How did Melinda French Gates find and trust her inner voice?
I started to do what I call learn my way back to myself. Somewhere along the way, I started to lose my voice. Society tells women, you can't be this, you can't do that, or maybe you're not enough, or somebody speaks over you in a meeting. Was there any part of you that had stopped using your voice in some way? For sure.
If I'm also telling my three children back then to use their voice in the world and to stand up to a bully on the playground and help somebody else, if I'm saying that to them, I realized I needed to be role modeling it too. and how to choose yourself. I have to coach myself, quite honestly. I don't enjoy big social gatherings. They drain me, right?
I can have doubt going into those, and so I actually have to push myself to do it. I definitely have doubt before I enter like a big, say you're going into a ballroom and it's 300 people at tables, you know, and I'm like, ah.
Well, if we're ever in the same ballroom, I'm very happy to hide in the bathroom with you. Okay, good.
And anytime. That is where you will find me, true. I'm really good at that.
even if it's for the first time ever or for the first time in a long time.
I deserve to be where I am in life. Like I've worked really hard to get here and I know myself. And so I don't, if people don't like me or they don't like what I'm saying, I'm kind of at the point in life where I'm like, take it or leave it. Like if I'm not your cup of tea, that's okay.
I am so excited for you, for me, for women everywhere right now, because this conversation is just that incredible. I'm literally jumping out of my chair right now. coming up in this incredible episode.
I know some people, I walk in the room, they're like, oh, they instantly think, you know, billionaire. Well, I don't think of myself that way. But what can I do about that? That's what they put on me. But if I'm my true, open-hearted, authentic self, maybe they'll get a chance to rethink what they think of me, right?
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Melinda face in balancing multiple roles as a woman?
Yeah. Everyone's praying. It's going to be good. The amount of time that could have been spent on things that actually matter. this morning in these white jeans, I was like, I see my cellulite, and I already know in my soul Melinda's not gonna care.
I was like, free, I was just free.
And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I wanna welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and do me a favor, please hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on. Thank you so much.
It truly means so much to me and the team that works so hard to bring you this show. Also, this episode, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because what you're about to hear can truly impact and change your life and theirs. Jamie Kern Lima is her name.
Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima.
Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.
It is such an honor to say, Melinda French Gates, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Thanks for having me, Jamie. It's fun we can do this. I am so excited you're here. And I have to just say, right out of the gate, I've read your book, Cover to Cover. Thank you. I am so grateful I got to read it early. It is so inspiring. So many of us, we go through transitions, whether we want to or not.
A lot of us are scared of them. But when I read your book, I got full body chills. And also thinking of this conversation today, because I think whether it's through reading the book the next day, which is out right now, everyone go grab your copy, or even through this conversation, I think what I'm so excited about is I just know how many women
are going to read your book or hear this conversation and decide to believe that they're worthy of trusting themselves, of listening to their own voice, of even kind of considering, like, huh, have I lost myself? Who am I?
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Chapter 4: How can women overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome?
um use their voice in the world and to stand up for a bully on the to a bully on the playground and help somebody else if i'm saying that to them i realized i needed to be role modeling it too that's so powerful do you feel um when i was reading the next day one of the big takeaways i think so many women are like how do i trust my voice how do i hear my voice how do i use my voice am i worthy of using it and when you talk about um
you know, the idea of something bigger than yourself, right? In order to just really kind of focus on that. Because so many women go, how do I get unstuck? Like, I don't, you know, I don't know if I'm worthy of it. And you talk about, you know, this passion of being a voice to so many people who don't have one. And also another bigger why is your kids, right?
It's so funny that it's easy for us to tell them all the things. I have two little ones. I have a six-year-old and a four-year-old. And it's easy for me to tell them all the things. And they go, well, wait a minute. Are they seeing me?
Exactly.
When you turn that question back on yourself, the answer isn't always pretty, is it? Yeah, yeah. And it's so much almost more powerful for them to see that. Because whether it's like, you can go after your dreams, you can be anything. But then if we're not believing we're worthy of going after our dreams or using our voice, they're going to see that.
And, you know, you just mentioned going to an all-girls school growing up. So I was going to ask you that because there is going to be, Melinda, and what I'm so excited about right now is the number of DMs, messages that are going to come in. And so many people ask me about this topic, which is why when I read the next day, I was so passionate about this because it's this...
I feel like this universal thing where maybe for the first time or the first time in a long time, women are starting to go, wait a minute, how do I raise my hand? How do I say I want to be in that room or I'm worthy of writing a book or I'm worthy of launching my own company, wearing a CEO title, any of it. When you made this transition,
from an all girls school where everyone raised their hand and, you know, you were called on and everything's great. And all of a sudden you're at Duke, you're at Duke university. And it's like, like all colleges just about, it's a free for all. Everyone's just speaking up, throwing out how, because so many women are going to be making this transition now in their own way.
They're going to, they're going to go to work tomorrow and be like, I'm freaking speaking up on the zoom. I'm going to share my idea. Finally, even if If it's not a hit, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. How did you learn to go from that certainty of, oh, I'm going to raise my hand and be called on. Everything's great to, oh, I've got to speak up if I'm going to get a word in.
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Chapter 5: What does it mean to 'lean forward' when facing doubt?
And I have to coach myself quite honestly to, lean forward, which is what I tell my friends and my daughters or even my son. If you have doubt, which we all have times of doubt, right? If you have humility, hopefully, if you're a humble person, you can admit you have some doubt at some point.
So just when you feel like leaning back, like, ooh, I don't know if I want to do that, that's when you either need to reach out to somebody who can remind you of your worth and remind you, you deserve to be there and you deserve to speak up or you got to find it in yourself and just lean forward.
I always say to them, just when you're getting uncomfortable, actually lean forward and do the thing that your doubt is kind of telling you not to do because that's where courage is. And the more you can practice that courage, the more you grow. And I think the easier than it becomes.
Like it becomes your comfort zone. Like, oh, I'm feeling doubt again. I'm going to actually lean forward. Totally. Instead of leaning back. That is so good. Totally. That is so good.
You and I talked about earlier that you're an introvert, right?
Yes.
People think I'm an extrovert, but I'm right on the line. Introvert, extrovert, but I actually fall on the introvert side of the line. And so I don't enjoy big social gatherings. They drain me, right? And so I can be very, I can have doubt going into those. And so I actually have to push myself to do it. I don't do it all the time because it's not where I want to be in life.
But when it's an important reason and I'm showing up, I have to say to myself, well, just trust, trust that you're going to find someone, you know, or try and connect with somebody in a, just a one-on-one. And by pushing myself to do that, oh, then I can enter that big room.
But I definitely have doubt before I enter like a big, say you're going into ballroom and it's 300 people at tables, you know, and I'm like, ah,
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Chapter 6: How does being an introvert affect Melinda’s approach to social situations?
Chapter 7: What lessons about self-worth and transitions does Melinda share from her book 'The Next Day'?
I felt like I needed to be kind of dressed head to toe and look perfect all the time. And now like I'm perfectly comfortable going out, maybe too comfortable some days with, you know, not having washed my hair for four days and it's in a ponytail and I'm still going to go out and walk to the store, you know, and I am who I am.
Melinda French Gates, named by Forbes as one of the most powerful women in the world, is here today, and she is revealing all life-changing lessons on how to hear your own inner voice.
I had a boyfriend in college that really was not a positive relationship for me at all, and he cared a lot about how I looked and said a lot of things about it to me. And that really is not okay. It really is not. And I eventually obviously got out of that relationship, but it took me too long and I inculcated too many of those messages.
Boy, when you take that down, that perfectionism around weight and body image, you wanna talk about, you take that down, whew, you have so much more mind space. It's an anxiety that's in there, right? I had to work with several different nutritionists and I did some work in therapy, but God, when I took that down, it was like, whew, okay, that feels better. How to trust yourself.
I started to do what I call learn my way back to myself. Somewhere along the way, I started to lose my voice. Society tells women, you can't be this, you can't do that, or maybe you're not enough, or somebody speaks over you in a meeting. Was there any part of you that had stopped using your voice in some way? For sure.
If I'm also telling my three children back then to use their voice in the world and to stand up to a bully on the playground and help somebody else, if I'm saying that to them, I realized I needed to be role modeling it too. and how to choose yourself. I have to coach myself, quite honestly. I don't enjoy big social gatherings. They drain me, right?
I can have doubt going into those, and so I actually have to push myself to do it. I definitely have doubt before I enter like a big, say you're going into a ballroom and it's 300 people at tables, you know, and I'm like, ah.
Well, if we're ever in the same ballroom, I'm very happy to hide in the bathroom with you. Okay, good.
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Chapter 8: Why is choosing yourself important, according to Melinda French Gates?
And anytime. That is where you will find me, true. I'm really good at that.
even if it's for the first time ever or for the first time in a long time.
I deserve to be where I am in life. Like I've worked really hard to get here and I know myself. And so I don't, if people don't like me or they don't like what I'm saying, I'm kind of at the point in life where I'm like, take it or leave it. Like if I'm not your cup of tea, that's okay.
I am so excited for you, for me, for women everywhere right now, because this conversation is just that incredible. I'm literally jumping out of my chair right now. coming up in this incredible episode.
I know some people, I walk in the room, they're like, oh, they instantly think, you know, billionaire. Well, I don't think of myself that way. But what can I do about that? That's what they put on me. But if I'm my true, open-hearted, authentic self, maybe they'll get a chance to rethink what they think of me, right?
Melinda French Gates is a philanthropist, businesswoman, and global advocate for women and girls. She's the founder of Pivotal Ventures, focused on accelerating social progress by removing barriers that hold people back. She also co-founded the Gates Foundation alongside her former husband, Bill Gates. Melinda's brand new book, The Next Day, Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward is out now.
Make sure you pick up your copy right now. It is so good. And in the book, Melinda reflects for the first time on the most significant transitions in her life, from becoming a parent, she's now a mom of three, to the death of a dear friend, to departing the Gates Foundation, to deciding to end her marriage, something over half of us have gone through.
Just when you're getting uncomfortable, actually lean forward and do the thing that your doubt is kind of telling you not to do, because that's where courage is.
Like, it becomes your comfort zone. Like, oh, I'm feeling doubt again. I'm going to actually lean forward.
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