Chapter 1: What personal updates do Jann, Caitlin, and Sarah share?
Well, gracious good day from Springbank, Alberta. It's the Jan Arden Podcast, and we are back. The three of us are here. Caitlin Green is in her apartment in Toronto, still looking for a house. We'll catch up on that. Sarah Burke is in her condo. She's not off gallivanting with her... significant other off in Lake Country. I'm sure that's coming. But welcome, girls.
Chapter 2: How does Jann feel about her recent travels with Thordis?
Great to see you.
It's so nice to be back together. I feel like we should be playing Reunited if we had the copyright.
Reunited, and it feels so good. But do tell, what have you guys been doing?
I don't know if your view is like this, Sarah, but mine is like spring has sprung. Like the leaves today, now that the rain is gone and the sun is out, the tree leaves outside of our window went from 6 to 12 just overnight. And so did the allergies. 6 to 12.
Oh, okay.
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Chapter 3: What challenges does Sarah face being away from her partner?
I don't have those. Oh, lucky you. I have definitely overdosed on Reactin this week and I'm okay with it. Shoot.
Reactin, feel free to sponsor us. Hello, Reactin. Anybody out there for Reactin?
Did you guys know? Did you hear that recent thing that was going around on social where it was like even even allergies are rooted in patriarchy because a long time ago they removed all the female trees.
Yes.
Chapter 4: What impact does Stephen Colbert's departure have on late-night television?
They removed all the female trees because they didn't want. Of course they did. They didn't want the mess of like all their like, you know, the little like things. They didn't want the period. They didn't want the tree period. They didn't want the tree periods. And so guess what happens? You got a bunch of pollinating male trees out here just blowing around in the wind.
And that's why they just impregnated a mouse with two girl mouses. And they got pregnant.
Chapter 5: What are the implications of Alberta separatism discussed by the hosts?
And they took DNA something, the eggs, the fucking... Listen, we're not scientists. We'll leave that to Dan Riskin. Anyway, long story, very pedestrian explanation. Two females, they impregnated a mouse successfully. Look at this. So I think it's coming that we won't need men's sperm. I mean, I just, I really think that's coming.
And, you know, say what you will about your screwing around with the Lord and stuff like that. Listen. That debate will go on forever.
Chapter 6: What etiquette surrounds weddings on long weekends?
But I think the vessel in which a soul inhabits, I think human beings will always kind of try and manipulate that. I don't think it affects the soul or the person coming into that vessel. And by God, if I could have a baby without sperm... I would. Yeah.
I think if there's like when I think about to the number of my like gay male friends who are looking into having a family. And when I have a I have a single female friend who unpartnered decided to have a child on her own, look for a donor. Like there's so many different ways to create.
How great to tap on one of your girlfriends.
Honestly, like it's Marge.
Chapter 7: Are destination weddings considered rude by guests?
Yeah. Do you mind? Can I get some DNA from wherever that is? Because you're you're adorable. We've been best friends forever.
Did I talk about this with you guys? Or I feel like maybe it was with you guys. Did I reveal that I offered my egg to my gay male friends?
No, this is the first time we're hearing this. They didn't want it because I'm too old.
Chapter 8: How do the hosts reflect on the costs associated with holiday weddings?
That is rude. That is just rude.
They didn't say that. But I think that the like the advice. It was inferred. It was inferred. And I was like, you should you should be so lucky. But like, I know we laughed about it because really what happens is they get like they're they have like you hire like a fertility consultant and they give you like your batch of potential like candidates for egg donation and then surrogacy.
It's like two separate things. And they all the women who are donating eggs, they want people who are in like their early to mid 20s. And I was like, well, that ain't me, girls.
So.
It's a nice option, though, if you need it, right?
I was like, I need a pretty cute baby. Hello. Yes, you did.
You really, really did. Tell me about the summer house watch party.
This is okay. So by the time at airing, this will have already happened. Your excitement is so sweet. So this is like a canon event in reality TV history. There is a massive scandal happening on Summer House. And there is a trend happening where people are turning to unserious news now more than ever. And this is part of that where it's like none of this stuff matters.
It's reality stars cheating on each other, hooking up with each other's exes. And they did this for the whole season. And now we've been leading up to it. And now this is part one of the reunion is going to be airing tomorrow. And I have long said this. Tomorrow being Tuesday, May 26th, just so we know. And girls and gays have longed to get together to watch this in a group setting.
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